


and I’ll be like Sugar

by littleredriding



Series: Soulmates: Reader Siren x Steve & Bucky [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, As in even with Agents of SHIELD (to a point), Enhanced Reader, F/F, F/M, I HAVE WARNED YOU PORN SEEKERS., M/M, Multi, Other, Reader is extremely integrated into the MCU/Canon as I could, Reader-Insert, Slow Build, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, THERE IS NO PORN IN HERE YET, Threesome - F/M/M, and how I abuse tags as I do on tumblr, dirtytalk-spanking-roughsexish-anal, eh I'm sticking to gifted, eventual kinks-domsub-dp-mildbdsm-sextoys, gifted reader, hints of f/f also, hopefully eventual smut of all smut, lots of language, smut won't be till who knows when so if you want porn right now I totally understand, so watch the movies if you wanna feel more in it, sounds cuter and nicer, those are the majors, what-, who wouldn't wanna marathon watching cap's tight ass, will be a SLOW BUILD story - WARNING if you wanted something fast paced
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-04-26 04:59:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 57,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4991161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleredriding/pseuds/littleredriding
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Working with SHIELD was just mission after mission...and there was still no sign of even just one of your soulmates. It was a bit depressing sometimes, since there was always that small chance that you wouldn’t meet them for another decade...or two...or more...</p><p>“Oh, will you stop sighing?” Jemma said waving a hand in front of your face, “Don’t tell me. I can already tell you were just sighing about your missing soulmates.” </p><p>You had been working for SHIELD for quite some time since you were different - gifted with special abilities. However you still haven't met the owners of the two marks that are tattooed onto your skin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Open your Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> The water powers that you the reader have are exactly pretty much the same as [water bending in the Avatar universe.](http://avatar.wikia.com/wiki/Waterbending) I almost considered having the reader on par with Avatar super powers but thought that would be too much haha... Reader does NOT have all the powers that entail water bending. But she can develop them over time with training and such. 
> 
> Please bare with me on my fic that it’s been /forever/ since I’ve written a fanfic (we’re talking about the times of lemons and limes lol) But I hope you the reader will be able to still enjoy this! This is my first shot at doing a reader fic, and I've noticed even in reading others that it’s hard to sort of balance a sense of vagueness to the reader and yet give her some sense of...character. 
> 
> All mistakes are on me since it’s unbeta-ed ;;;; 
> 
> Setting for THIS chapter is pre-Avengers or post CA:TFA. Future chapters will span across the MCU and part of Agents of SHIELD.

Soulmates have been around since the beginning of time. You could have one soulmate or multiple soulmates. The marks of the first words that would be exchanged between soulmates would be branded into a person’s skin during adolescence. But of course those were just the basic rules that everyone knew, everyone was different and things weren’t always 100% black and white.

For yourself, you have had two marks that told you that you had two more parts of your soul out there waiting for you. Each mark trailed along the back underneath your shoulder blades. The promise and knowledge that there were two other people waiting for you always brought a sense of comfort and safety to you. Especially considering you weren’t... Normal.

Since birth you had the power to manipulate water, to move it around however you pleased. As you grew older, so did your control over your power. Eventually you were able to freeze the water, and if you really concentrated hard enough - you could make your own little tidal waves. However the most unique trait of you powers, was the power to heal others. So can you really say it was a huge surprise that SHIELD had scooped you up immediately because of your powers? And they did it all by abruptly showing up on your doorstep. _But come on seriously?_ The random man in a suit telling you that he had the job of a lifetime for you? Creepy as hell.

You had tried calling the police a few times to report the crazy, only to be connected directly to said agent. However after a long while of convincing you the legitimacy of the program, you caved in.

SHIELD had made you take special classes with their Academy, learn every martial arts, and special classes to help develop your water power. The worst was being hooked up to machines so they could measure you using your powers and how they worked. It was merely tedious and it did make you a bit self conscious since they always had you wearing the bare minimum or some hospital gown. That and they weren't really ever able to figure out _how_ you could do what you do, so they settled with just measuring and learning what you _could_ do with your powers.

They did however sort of figure out why you could heal others. Apparently you were able to accelerate the healing process as long as your hands were touching a person and you concentrated. Water energy flow or some sorts. Got a paper-cut? Bam you could make that bad sucker disappear. Got shot? Can seal that open and exit wound just like that. Headache or stress? Say goodbye to feeling stressed to that upcoming exam of free falling out of a plane

...well when it came to anything mental healing there were limitations, you weren’t able to cure YOURSELF of that since it was pretty much going in a circle for you. That and it was draining to simply use your healing powers.

So before you knew it eventually you had “graduated” from the Academy and was officially working as a SHIELD agent. Life for you, really had gone by in a flash. And honestly it was a bit convenient to not have to worry about life after schooling and such.

But working with SHIELD was just mission after mission...and there was still no sign of even just one of your soulmates.

It was a bit depressing sometimes, since there was always that chance that you wouldn’t meet them for another decade...or two...or more...

“Oh, will you stop sighing?” Jemma said waving a hand in front of your face, “Don’t tell me. I can already tell you were just sighing about your missing soulmates.”

“Am I that transparent?” you replied back with a slight laugh.

“You will meet them eventually, besides you have two! Two chances! Besides it’s not like that has stopped you from dating.”

“True, but let me just have this one and pine over my two long lost missing mates.”

After a long boring day of filing paperwork, you and your dear friend Jemma were having lunch together at the SHIELD main headquarters’ cafeteria.

“Anyways, besides that, I heard from your latest mission that you were able to increase your control over making waves by another 25 more feet! When did this happen? You have to show me soon and soon as in later this afternoon ideally.”

You rolled your eyes, same old silly Jemma, “Last time you had me for several hours. Stuck in that pool - and not to mention after I practically pulled out every drop of water all out of the pool - you made me clean everything up.”

“Oh don’t make it sound like it’s such a chore, with just a mere flick of your wrist you are able to move water however you wish.” she replied back with a pout, “Besides you wouldn’t have been able to find out some of the things you are capable of today without me.”

Jemma sat back in her seat and folded her arms across her chest, giving you a big smug smile. That was something you couldn’t deny, since she had been with you since the Academy, helping and guiding you with your power.

“Unfortunately, this Agent won’t be your guinea pig tonight.” a male voice suddenly said from behind you two. The same voice that had nagged you to join SHIELD for an opportunity of a lifetime...

“Agent Coulson.” you said standing up with Jemma following you and also standing up from her seat.

“I have an important mission for you, Agent, and need you to come with me right now,” and that is probably all he was going to tell you until you followed him off to where ever. Sighing with a nod, and giving an apologetic look to Jemma, you followed after Coulson.

“The quinjet? Wait if we’re going on an overnight-”

“Your pack is already here, you’re already set to go.”

“...we’re going near a dam or river aren’t we?” squinting your eyes, “Or maybe the ocean?”

Even though your power to bend water to your will was really cool, it wasn’t the most practical at times. After all it’s not like you could make water appear out of no where.

...well you could technically pull moisture out ...like a dehumidifier. However you still weren’t able to do it without draining your own energy out. It was exhausting and you still weren’t practiced enough on that power.

Sure your tactical field suit had compartments for water...but it was only useful for making makeshift weapons or ice or aiding in healing. So although you were a great asset for SHIELD...if the field had barely any water, you were just as good as any other agent with a Night-Night Gun. But put you in a field with water...you pretty much had the cat in the bag.

“I suppose there is a lake, but that’s actually irrelevant. We are in need your healing abilities instead actually."

“Oh? Clean up duty, gotcha...must be pretty ugly then..” you responded while buckling yourself into the seat.

“Actually just one person, you’ll understand more when we get to the location.”

A mission...to heal. Who was the important duck that needed you? Sure you could help mentally calm down people, soothe perhaps, but ...

Well just another odd mission from SHIELD, right?

 

 

* * *

 

 

Walking into what seemed like a ...patient’s room - you looked through the glass to see a tall blonde man sleeping. Absolutely gorgeous and clearly wearing a shirt that was at least 3 sizes smaller than what he should be wearing, but whatever since that gave you a gorgeous view of how freaking built the man was. Though he was sleeping, you could tell that he wasn’t having any sweet dreams. He was sweating through his shirt, brows furrowed, and his hands kept clenching at the sheets besides him.

“How’s the Captain doing?” Coulson asked to one of the doctors reading some charts on a screen.

“His temperature is still fluctuating, but since the wake up yesterday his temperature has moments of dropping extremely low at times compared to before. Probably linked to extreme mental distress at his current status and situation,” the doctor replied. The doctor turned to look at you, “And I suppose this is the girl?”

Coulson nodded and then handed you the patient’s file, “We need you to help regulate his temperature, he’s been under the ice for a ...very long time. In addition his mental state has been off the charts, so try to soothe him and calm him down.”

Ah...poor guy...must have honestly gone through a lot of shit if they had even you to help out. But from the sounds of it he was probably some agent or solider and going through PTSD on top of being in...ice? I guess. Though you would be able to help with the edge, helping with PTSD patients wasn’t just a simple fix like a headache. Even with regular sessions, everyone was different and took the healing in different ways.

You opened the file and started to quickly read over it. So poor hot man’s name is...Captain Steve Rogers...

...Hm? ...Captain of what? Glancing at the box underneath at alias...printed in bold caps was the words **“CAPTAIN AMERICA”.**

Your eyes widened and you took a double take at the man sleeping behind the glass.

“THE Captain America? The World War II legend from the books?!” you gasped, breaking your normally calm composure that you usually had when on duty. You weren't able to think about it more since suddenly the monitors in the room started to beep at a slow steady pace.

“His temperature is starting to drop down again, I’ll change the temperature in -”

“That won’t be necessary...Agent?” Coulson nodded to you and then gesturing to the door that led into the room with Captain America. Not wanting to waste any time and help the guy right away, you headed straight to the door and rushed to the Captain’s bedside. Alright. So keep him...from freezing and help him mentally. Easy. This is just like any other guy you’ve helped out before, no need to have your heart pounding like crazy.

Putting your hands over the Captain’s temples, you slowly exhaled.

_Focus. First, bring his temperature back up._

Bringing his temperature back up was easy...but you had to hold onto it. You could tell that the moment you let go - his temperature would most likely just drop down again. While you had to hold onto that, you now had to try to soothe him. Glancing over Steve, you could see that he was still breathing really heavily. Though you had brought his temperature back to normal levels, he was acting as if he was still ...freezing. His eyelids although closed, were fluttering rapidly underneath. His right hand shot up clutching at his chest and he started to breathe really hard.

Freaking out a bit, and maybe a bit out of sudden reflex you moved your right hand down over his and held onto it.

_**"Captain, you’re safe... You’re back home.”** _

Those were the first words that you could think of to say to him.

 

* * *

 

Cold...

Too Cold...

Alone...

Back...but not entirely...

Time passed.

And the world wasn’t what it was as he remembered. Those thoughts fleeting and coming away were too much for him to take. Nothing was clear right now in his head, and opening his eyes would just remind him of the cruel reality that he was already in.

There was a faint touch of warm hands at his temples and were quite soothing, honestly. However...he couldn’t contain all that he was feeling or thinking right now, and he unconsciously clutched his chest hoping that maybe that would help with that tightening he felt within.

Suddenly though he felt a small warm hand go over his own hand and lightly squeeze. The mysterious person’s voice than rung out in his ears,

_**“Captain, you’re safe... You’re back home.”** _

Those words...

Before he could think of anything else Steve felt something inside just let go. The anxiety he had felt was slipping away. The tightness in his chest gone. His body relaxed and he felt his consciousness slowly fade into black. He tried to wake up...hoping it wasn’t a dream. His soulmate, the one he and Bucky had waited for...was here.

But then again perhaps it was just a dream.

...a cruel dream mocking him. A simple delusion and part of his mind trying to make him feel better only to snatch it away from him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there’s chapter 1 ! This might be a sort of slow build - I have a general idea of where I want the story to be...but honestly I’m down down the line, and I thought about leaving the chapter end without Steve’s POV but eh I guess I’ll leave it. 
> 
> Until then thank you for reading the first chapter of this story please let me know what you think or would suggest!


	2. It’s a Vintage Set

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ran away from me. I forgot that they can do that...I thought it was going to be super short but it ran away. I need to actually space out a bit more on how I do chapters since it takes up too much time hahah anyways thank you so so so so so much to all of you that have clicked on this fic and leaving kudos and comments so much! <3 
> 
> Also I figured out my formatting errors had to do with c&p-ing form my word program so Chapter 1 in terms of formatting has been mostly fixed!

It had been a week since started you started working on your mission to help with Captain Rogers. His condition was improving, temperature not flucutating as much, and mentally he seemed to at least be calm. However he hadn’t once woken up at all. The doctors said something to do with stress and his body being used to being in his coma-like state for so long. Waking up from the ice a bit over a week ago must have been too much even for a super solider like him.

You could only imagine...waking up to find out that the world has changed. Everyone you loved - gone. The world you knew? Gone. It was something of the past.

You remember learning about Captain Steve Rogers in the history books way back in elementary school. And the story that he had of being a short little guy who wanted to save his country, who risked his life to take on an experiment that would later make him to full fledged Captain America.

Siping your tall green tea latte, you slumped over the table in front of you. Maybe it was just the sentimental and empathetic part of ...but your heart ached for this poor guy.

“Good job Agent.”

“...you really do love coming out of no where in my life, don’t you Coulson?” as you slowly started to get up.

“I make it a hobby to surprise people, it’s cool isn’t it?” he said a bit dryly and he then sat down in the chair across from you, “I’m here to tell you that the Captain’s condition has been greatly improving.”

“The doctors already told me as much earlier before my break, but I could tell on my own a bit anyways...after all I am basically manually regulating the Captain.” Ignoring your albeit perhaps snarky comment to Coulson, he than continued on,

“Besides the Captain’s current condition, I’m here to tell you that we are assigning you to another mission. Effective immediately.”

“What...?” your body tensed.

“This time we actually do need your talents for water and ice, but since this time you’re going out of the country you need to leave straight away.”

Every part of your body felt like a weight was set on it. You didn’t want to leave. What about the Captain? Though he was improving, he still wasn’t entirely stable. On top of that what about when he woke up? Your healing abilities would help him to another level with him conscious. He’d be able to feel more calm as everyone explained everything to him...briefed him on life now... You could sort of understand since SHIELD coming in and suddenly explaining how your new life was going to be like (of course after you agreed) was stressful and confusing as fuck. There were a million thoughts just racing through your head and clearly Coulson could read that off your face for he then said,

“Don’t worry, the Captain will be fine. You’ve helped his condition significantly improve this past week. You’ve done a good job and I mean that’s a cool thing considering you helped heal Captain America.”

Pursing your lips together, you nodded and tried to gather your thoughts together in a more sane manner.

You did do your job and now it’s just onto the next one.

...but it was strange.

You felt protective over the Captain. And it’s not like you even really truly met the guy or even knew him. At least outside of the history books, documentaries, and films. Why do you feel this way towards him?

Maybe it was also since he was a hot guy. An extremely hot guy. Hormones of yours running around making you crazy. I mean, those arms and those pecs? You wouldn’t deny you lusted a teensy bit (or a whole lot) for the guy physically. It has been a while since you slept with a guy...which of course involved not much sleeping.

Or maybe it was just because you had been mentally trying to calm him down for the past few days. That wouldn’t be a surprise either - maybe your powers just sorta hooked up onto him or something of the sorts. Jemma might be able to explain it to you later when you talked with her how you got to see the Captain America... Or would you even be able to disclose it to her anyways? You’d have to check the report again later.

But either way - you were just being a bit crazy and thinking too much onto it all you said to yourself. No need to get all worked up over a hot guy like him that you haven’t officially met yet.

“Alright, I’m guessing you already have the quinjet ready right? We can go now then,” you said getting up from your seat.

Coulson however remained sitting down and shook his head, “Actually I won’t be going with you for that mission. Agent 33 will be there to debrief you on the details for your next mission. The director has me staying here to monitor the Captain a bit longer.”

“Oh you get the fun and easy job,” you said sarcastically.

“What? I have to get my cards signed by the Captain.”

Oh god, Coulson’s collection of- ...no wonder he was the one who brought you here. He was a Captain America fan freak. Forget about you having this weird fixation on the Captain that was probably brought on by healing the guy - Coulson, was on a whole different level.

“Okay that’s my cue to leave before you start showing it off to me again,” you said grabbing your latte and files in front of you, “Promise me you won’t be too annoying towards him when he wakes up?”

“Who said I’m annoying?”

Rolling your eyes at the older agent, “Me and every other victim of yours that has to hear you ramble about your Captain America collection.”

 

* * *

 

The steady sound of a beep was the first thing Steve heard when he woke up. Slowly opening his eyes, he stared into the ceiling and then turned to his side. Some wires were hooked up around him and a monitor with numerous numbers and symbols on it... It wasn't anything like the room he woke up the first time that felt familiar although it was fake. This time the room had a more what they would consider modern probably.

Steve then sighed and closed his eyes again. Remembering everything again, waking up, and then ...

His soulmate.

He shot up into a sitting position and looked around, but there was no one in sight. Instead the door opened and a doctor came in and started to talk to him talking and asking how he was feeling.

_Maybe... Maybe it ..._

“Captain, are you alright?”

Director Fury was next to the doctor, he must have been out of it to not have noticed him walk in as well. Regardless he couldn’t take his mind off her,

“...a girl...was there a girl in the room earlier?”

Fury shook his head, “Unless you’re saying this handsome doctor next to me is gorgeous enough to pass for a woman, no.”

Steve furrowed his eyebrows and brought a hand to his temples, slowly massaging them.

It...it really wouldn’t have been the first time for him to dream about meeting his second soulmate. Back even when he was fighting with Bucky, he would sometimes dream the dame up as did Bucky.

Besides if Steve was in any room like he was when he first woke up, he doubted that just anyone could get in whenever they pleased. They were watching his every move and action, that’s why they came into the room when they did.

Steve rubbed his left clavicle gently, he really wanted to pursue the thoughts on his soulmate a little more. But maybe it’d be best to worry about that maybe a little later, especially considering it could just be a delusion. The world wasn’t the way he remembered it anymore, even if his soulmate was still alive, he had a lot of other things to take in right now.

 

* * *

 

Since you healed the freaking Captain of America, life for you had been nonstop. Mission after mission, a breather once in a while just so you could get so sleep, mission reports to then write up, and then on top of that was Jemma and her crazy experiments.

It was ...fun though. You remember back in the Academy how it was all learning how you would help others, and now that you actually got to act on that? Really cool.

Cleanup crew and writing reports though were honestly the most boring part.

“Nat, can’t you write the report this time for me? I wrote yours last time...” you moaned as you tried to type away on your computer.

Natasha Romanov. You had met her a few years back when you first started officially working for SHIELD after the Academy. You may have worked maybe a few missions with her, but you had quickly managed to bond with her. Maybe it was because you were interesting and different because of your powers. That and tacked in with the fact that you “accidentally” made her slip over ice on your first mission together - which saved her life from incoming fire. Though her way of slipping on ice, somehow turned out to still look freaking graceful. Sometimes she felt like that bigger sister or cousin that you never had . Although you hadn’t known her as long as you did Jemma, you considered her another one of your closest friends. She also was a great opponent to spar with when you wanted to train.

“You wrote the report for me last time since you lost a bet we made, I shot down more people than you did,” she said while also typing away on her computer. You pouted at her response, it was just because she was near the nearest exit ...that’s where all their backup came from so of course she was able to get them down before you could.

“I don’t know who I feel sorrier for, the people who have to write these stupid reports or the people who have to read these over and over again in different perspectives.”

“So how did the date with Agent Ward go?” she said swiveling around to look at you. Grant Ward, another agent, had been asking you out for a while now. And yesterday was one of the days where you actually had caved in and went on a date with him. Sure both of you had soulmates - but that didn’t mean it could stop you from at least trying to experience romance. Nowadays it was the norm to date before meeting soulmates, since simply put - life was too short. You could meet your soulmate not too long after your special words appeared on your skin or maybe in your 20s after college. However that also meant you could meet your soulmate even later on in life in your 50s...or even at an aging home and spend just a couple years or even months together.

“It was nice actually, nothing more though,” you shrugged, “Clearly wanted sex on the first date if he could get away with it.”

“And did he get lucky?,” Nat raised an eyebrow, “He does seem like he would be a fun fuck.”

“No he did not, I mean it’s the first date! At least date me a little longer and then you’ll get something!!” you laughed while she rolled her head back to give you the most judging look she could muster.

“Fine, then date him a little longer and then tell me more juicy _explicit_ details,” she sat up and grabbed a bunch of files, “I’m done and I’ll be seeing you later at 6 for dinner, little one.”

“Not as little as your attitude!” you yelled back at her. She waved her hand in the air to you and sauntered away, leaving you alone to work on your tedious report and thoughts.

Maybe if Ward was as gorgeous as Captain America was, you would have _considered_ dropping your panties and wave them at him on the first date yelling “I VOLUNTEER!”. But that just wasn’t the case. You weren’t a virgin, but you weren’t just going to give yourself that easy to someone like Ward on the first date. Besides you wanted to keep some level of maybe modesty when it came to one day meeting your soulmates. Or would they even care...or what if they slept around too? Wait does that matter to you? What are you thinking about, of course it does matter to a point, it’s like asking...DO STD’S MATTER?

...ah whatever you shouldn’t be thinking about that now since it’s not like you have met either of your soulmates yet. And besides even if they did you would accept them, right? And they would have to accept you for whoever you were anyways too...right? The whole issue of you having water bending powers and SHIELD agent things.

Speaking of Captain America...how was he doing? Hopefully well, since they might have probably just called you over if it was indeed an issue. The attachment that you felt for him still felt like it was there hanging in the air when you thought of the man. And on top of that it wasn’t like you could just ask, “Hey how’s Captain America doing?” since you hadn’t seen Coulson anywhere since you saw him last. Unfortuntely you were told to not squeak a word about that mission, so talking or asking anyone besides Coulson was out of the question.

You tapped away on your computer finishing the report as quickly as you could. Nat had another undercover mission that she had to fly off to tomorrow morning, so this would be the last you saw her for a bit considering you had to fly off to the West Coast to help with some damming issue apparently.

However little did you know...the world was going to go into a whole lot of crazy for the next few weeks.

 

* * *

 

Oh my...where to start?

One of the biggest SHIELD operational buildings destroyed. Nat’s best friend, Barton was compromised. Some weirdo called Loki from another world was waving some fancy staff around making people bow down to him. Oh and Captain America? Seems like he was doing well and alive since you last saw him- and apparently he still likes to wear that uniform of his. Not that you were complaining much since it clung to his hot body like a vice, though it was a tad bit too flashy in terms of color for your liking.

You weren’t able to go right away to help out with the operation that Director Fury and Coulson were planning since they put you on freaking standby.

And honestly? Though the mission and simply mere idea of what was happening with SHIELD seemed crazy insane dangerous, even you had to admit that it was strange they didn’t ask for you right away. I mean you could create a tidal waves by waving your hand which could knock out bunches of things and instead they had you on stand by waiting in Washington twiddling your thumbs working on paperwork.

...when they finally did call you, it wasn’t Coulson that contacted you though. It was Agent Hill.

Agent Coulson was down.

...you don’t quite remember feeling much of anything after she said those words to you. This wasn’t the first colleague you had lost in the line of work that you do, but Coulson was the first person to bring you into SHIELD since day one. To hear your silly mentor was gone, hurt...it didn’t feel quite real either.

The orders from Agent Hill were to head to New York right away to provide back up and support in evacuating any civilians.

What they didn’t tell you was that there was going to be an alien attack coming from some giant ass hole in the sky.

With aliens now thrown into the whole story it seems all bets were off, and you could even use your ability in public. Well no one explicitly said you could, but you weren’t has hell going to follow SHIELD protocol right now.

You were NOT going to just let some people drown in the subway when you can push the water back and hold onto it.

As you got out of the subway that you were helping evacuate, your eyes widened as you saw a barrage of random flying aliens on alien flying things go over past your head. It was chaotic, there were screams left and right, weird energy shots coming from the sky by the aliens, and it almost came to the point where you couldn’t even hear anything - it felt like it all turned to white noise.

Bending water that laid pretty much anywhere because of broken fire hydrants and the such, you created multiple icicle spears and launched them towards the aliens.

Your aim could be more accurate, but it was difficult to target multiple spears at multiple targets rather than one by one.

There was so much to do, and only so much you COULD do.

The alien energy shots were also quite annoying considering they were nothing like normal bullets - you couldn’t just block them with a super hard thick barrier of ice unless you wanted that to blow up in your face and then fog up your vision.

This wasn’t exactly how you saw yourself visiting New York for the first time.

But what was important was that you did all that you could do to try to save as many people and protect them.

What seemed like eternity, the battle was over before you know it. The battle with the aliens that is. There was still so much destruction throughout the city and people that were trapped. However Agent Hill directed you to get out after a while once things started to clear out.

Apparently since things were “calming down” and reporters were everywhere trying to get every bit of coverage on this... having a young woman who could move water around was a bit too visible for SHIELD’s comfort. Luckily somehow you weren’t noticed much in terms of media because of the new team called the Avengers. Ah, so this is what Nat was mentioning on and off now and then.

 

* * *

 

After the Battle of New York you were helping healing any agents instead. Agents who got shot or burned and the likes. Healing people left and right by accelerating the healing process was quite exhausting.

Before you knew it though it was over. Cleanup included. All that remained was going back to the main SHIELD hospital back in headquarters since any other agents who were going through excessive trauma and such were being transferred there.

All missions for agents were basically scrambled with agents being moved around levels and such, so when you saw the chance to opt into still helping any SHIELD agent survivors - you jumped on it.

Maybe you felt helping the survivors of New York, was your way of finishing Coulson’s last mission.

Slowly smiling at the scenery outside the window you wondered if he would be proud. Nah of course the silly old man would be, knowing him.

_I wonder if he ever got his collection signed?_ You chuckled a little at the thought though it was tinged with a bit of sadness. _I should talk to Agent Hill later probably..._

_If he didn’t, maybe I should get them signed for him._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I know there are some plot holes in terms of Steve/reader right now. They are there for a reason I assure you! Sadly I won’t be able to address said pieces until later chapters... 
> 
> This chapter basically went through the first Avengers movie timeline, to finish of the Avengers movie! And somehow it had a lot more Coulson than I thought. 
> 
> On a side note you know you’re way too deep when instead of writing GRANT WARD you write BRETT DALTON ...instead and you don’t even realize your mistake till the like 5th time going...wait isn’t that one ship called...SkyWARD......shit. Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like his real name is just on par with being some random SHIELD agent name too. 
> 
> Also thank you again so much for the support, if you have a tumblr please please let me follow you! Mine is over [HERE!!](http://unrequitedstar.tumblr.com/) \- which has been recently revived last month since I came back from SLCC...sigh...it still feels like a dream...
> 
> If you want to be barged with Chris Evans/Sebastian Stan/CAP stuff that’s basically my tumblr nowadays. 
> 
> Finally please let me know what you think or would possibly like to see in the comments below - I appreciate feedback a lot!!


	3. When in Doubt - Google.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting this chapter a few days earlier than I planned, in response to all the comments and kudos you all have given this story!! Thank you so much!!!

Getting back into doing missions and paperwork almost made it seem like the whole incident in New York was a long lost dream. Sure things were different, but not by much. I mean here you were rushing again to submit paperwork before the deadline at 4pm. You took a sharp turn in the hallway of the Hub and bumped straight into a hard wall. Since you had been running so fast you ended up bouncing backwards and you felt yourself about to fall and probably land on your butt. That was until a hand suddenly grabbed you by the wrist and hoisted you up towards them with a soft grunt,

 

**_“I got you, can’t have a lil dame like you falling.”_ **

 

What.

...

What.

The.

Fuck.

Your face was up to a wall of muscle and as you looked up to see who the voice belonged to you saw it was none other than Captain Steve Rogers who you bumped into.

Captain Steve Rogers who saved you from falling on your ass making a fool of yourself.

Captain Steve Rogers of fucking America.

Captain Steve Rogers who said the words written underneath your left shoulder blade.

F-Fuck!

What do you do?! Is this...really happening right now?!

You felt yourself flush and mentally you were screaming. What were you to do in the span of a few seconds? That meant he was your soulmate right? The next words you say are important! On top of that, it’s super great how he’s doing super well on the bright side, yay?! What are you thinking this is a moment that you were preparing your whole life for to happen?!

Back in reality, Steve smiled back at you kindly, still holding onto your wrist for some reason, while you were internally having a mental breakdown.

Was he trapping you or something?!

Did he somehow just know and was putting the pressure on you?!

I mean what if you wanted to just run away and think about what you’ll say to him later?

Fine okay, okay I’m just going to spit it out whatever-

“You’re really gorgeous!”

Steve chuckled a little and clearly was looking you over...but there wasn’t an inch of shock going on with him...

“You’re pretty gorgeous yourself too.”

Another rush of warmth shot straight through your body at his response. He also probably quickly realized though you were clearly flustered, so he let go of your wrist giving you a quick apologetic look. Before you could even think of anything else of the current situation, Steve then said to you,

“Though I would actually love to stay and talk, I’m in a bit of a rush just as you were, " He gave you one last sweet smile and then briskly walked past you leaving you alone.

Leaving you to your thoughts that were just screaming literally what the fuck just happened.

Did you...not say his words...?

Then again you literally just said a single compliment to the guy, he probably has been told by ANYONE that he is gorgeous. B-But... He said your words right?

Those were your words. And they made sense right...? Who the fuck would say _dame_ these days? Steve Fucking Rogers, right? He just did!

But...

Oh good lord should you run after him and demand that he explains this? ...but...that’s Captain America...

...Captain America...

Would you really be a soulmate to a national treasure?

Suddenly feeling a bit down, and honestly heartbroken, you slowly walked towards the destination you were originally heading towards. Maybe you shouldn't be feeling so bad, but you also shouldn’t push all these expectations towards the poor man who might just happen to be a coincidence.

Drop off your paperwork, then you can go google the shit out of everything to do with Soulmates...that’s the plan. ...and also stop by and order a bunch of delicious food and shit to help cope with this. Forget budgeting right now.

 

* * *

 

As Steve sped walked across the SHIELD headquarters to a urgent meeting he had with Director Fury, he couldn’t quite get his head over what had just happened.

The cutest dame he had ever seen in his life had just called him gorgeous. And he somehow found the ability and confidence in himself to call her gorgeous back. His heart kept on racing and it was entirely different from how he felt over Peggy Carter. She had a similar effect to him, but on a much smaller scale when compared to this current feeling and state of mind that Steve was having.

But...he had clearly spooked the poor girl. Maybe when she bumped into him, they collided a lot harder than he thought? After all super solider strength and all did make him a little less aware of how much of a physical effect he could have on people. If that was the case...boy did that make him feel terrible. However still, he could still remember her sweet voice and big eyes looking up at him calling him gorgeous. The mere memory made him feel hot all over a lot quicker than he would like to admit. Maybe it was some side effect of being asleep for so long.

Well, the girl worked for SHIELD most likely, so hopefully he would get the chance to see her again and apologize.

Maybe he could summon up some of that courage he had earlier to compliment her to ask her out for coffee.

 

* * *

 

You had spent literally the whole night since you got home, snacking on food while googling everything you could on Soulmate shit.

“Can someone other than your Soulmate say your words?” - that actually had a lot lot lot LOT more articles than you would like. There were even videos and interviews of these issues happening.

So in conclusion the first thing you came to was said yep it was 100% possible for a NON Soulmate to say your words. And of course the easiest way to actually figure out if Steve was your soulmate was to just ask the guy upfront. But like you would hunt down Steve Rogers telling him to strip so you could see his marks. Asking people about their soulmate words was also a very personal thing for some people, for you it was pretty personal, only Jemma had actually seen your words or your doctor. Which wasn't unheard of, since most people wanted to leave the mystery of their words to their Soulmate to say. There had been many issues of "soulmate" fraud in the past, and still sometimes happened today with celebrities. If you knew one person's words, you could say them first - and tattoo their words later onto your skin.

Of course in trail, it was easy to scientifically distinguish soulmate fraud such as handwriting, soulmate tattoos never fading, and the such. So people these days mostly kept the exact words of their Soulmate, a secret.

So you could ONLY imagine how personal Soulmate marks were for Steve, considering things back in his time were different compared to nowadays.

Another possibility you came to was said that a Soulmate could acknowledge that he heard his words, but feign that he doesn’t know. I mean maybe he had commitment issues? Eventually those solve themselves, and the rare cases have them unsolved or a mystery...

But the only conclusion you felt yourself nearing was...

He...wasn’t your Soulmate.

There could be other guys out there that say stupid old time words like that.

You probably felt a connection since you were healing him the last time you saw him, and on TOP of that he was indeed gorgeous as fucking hell - who wouldn’t want to have a connection to that.

...and it’s not like Steve Rogers would just ignore his Soulmate too, right...?

From the stories you’ve read and interviews he had done since he had been out in the public - he simply wasn’t that type of guy. Private, yes. And maybe you shouldn’t be assuming things since you know what happens when you assume...

Your mind and heart was probably just longing too hard for a guy for too long...impatient. Maybe you should just take Nat’s advice and just get with a guy for sex sometime. Pent up sexual frustration could be making your mind go crazy...

Folding your legs up to your chest and hugging them, while you sat in your bed...you sighed.

If only it didn’t feel like your heart was splitting into two though.

This would be a whole lot easier.

 

* * *

 

The following weeks you were thankful that you had some more clean up missions to do as well as some odd ones here and there. Not only did it take your mind off a bit, but it took your body PHYSICALLY away from headquarters where you shouldn’t have to bump into the Captain. You were already sort of slowly going through the stage of acceptance, accepting that guy wasn’t your soulmate and you were just projecting an ideal onto him. He just happened to say the words that were on your back, ha ha.

Sure you would bump into him eventually, but that didn’t mean you had to bump into him sooner rather than later. And by then hopefully you can calm yourself down.

Oh why can’t Jemma help you figure out some way to use your healing powers mentally on yourself?

You considered talking about your predicament with Jemma, but had to cross it out since part of you honestly didn’t want to think any more about the whole situation with the Captain and make it a lot bigger than it really is. Besides lately she’d be busy with some new project of some sorts, so you weren’t able to see her often as you used to.

And you sure as hell couldn’t talk to it with Nat since she worked missions with the guy, you thought a bit more bitterly than you would have liked. Bitter over the fact that Nat spends more time lately with Captain America though or bitter of the fact that she GETS to spend more time with Captain America - was something you also didn’t want to face.

Gently, yet not so gently, slapping your cheeks with the palms of your hands, you shook your head.

Come on you’re an Agent. A special Agent who can move the shit out of water. You save lives. You WILL meet your Soulmates one day, and you will be able to move on from this.

...oh god what if it was maybe some sentimental thing attachment because of Coulson. Maybe he brainwashed you.

Damn you Coulson, laughing at me even when you’re gone.

Well on the bright side, that sort of snapped you out of whatever fixation you were currently feeling over the Captain.

But of course, life can’t be easy.

Jemma was soon taken from your life. She was leaving with Fitz and directed by Agent Hill that she would be a part of another team.

...and that’s all they can tell for this is SHIELD.

However what you did know is that Jemma was going to be out in the field and that honestly freaked you out since you know Jemma. And as her best friend you felt protective over her, what if something happens to her? She’d probably find a way to science herself out of it...but...

Well thank god that you gals could text each other then.

Oh. That and apparently Ward was part of the team. Awkward since you technically still owed him a date, and he was apparently willing...but ...still awkward.

Before Jemma left though, she revealed what she had been busy working with to you. She had been developing a special suit for you. The appearance was very similar to the standard SHIELD tactical uniform that all agents wore that was in full black, however she made it entirely waterproof and freeze proof.

The best part was the set of gloves that she designed; they helped somehow make it easier for you to extract water. In other words, being a human dehumidifier turned 100% much easier. You still needed to train and practice a bit more, but if you were in a area of decent humidity - pulling the water out was easier. So if you needed to pull water out of basically the air, turn that water into a ice dagger or something - these gloves made it much easier for you to do that.

Jemma was crazy smart and a big girl, maybe some field work would be good for her actually. The first time you had gone on your mission and told her about it, she wouldn’t stop listing and sending you reminders of all the possible things you could do with your powers. ...Jemma will be fine. And if she gets hurt you could of course just put all your energy into attacking Ward next time.

Nat on the other hand was busy doing missions with Barton and the likes. She had messaged you that things would be calming down soon and you could catch up then, but this was Nat - who knows when she’ll pop up suddenly out of no where.

And you? You were stuck as usual doing odd missions once again. And of course...of course, of course...your next mission...

“This is Captain Steve Rogers,” Agent Hill said nodding over to the tall blonde man next to her.

You were in Agent Hill’s special briefing room at SHIELD, standing across from Agent Hill and Captain Rogers. She had called you over for your next mission, and it had been a few weeks since you last saw Captain Roger’s gorgeous body, but only a few. You still couldn’t get over how hot he was and you still felt the fate tinge of your heart tugging inside.

“Agent, you’ll be assisting Captain Rogers. I’ll brief you a bit, but it should be a fairly straightforward mission. We’ll only have you two and a couple other agents helping you both out on this mission since stealth is key for this particular mission.”

Captain Rogers smiled at you with a nod, while you slowly nodded back to his greeting. Did he remember you?

“You’ll be there to retrieve what is reported to be a large amount of Chitauri weapons that have been smuggled, use your abilities to help retrieve them and return them back here to SHIELD.”

You narrowed your eyes at that. Didn’t they have enough Chitauri weapons? I suppose you shouldn’t question it much since it’s not like you were going to go down the line about gun control and SHIELD, but this mess that the Chitauri left was really sad. Those weapons were crazy powerful and when active, you couldn’t really fight back from any shots fired on them.

“The team will leave within the hour, so I suggest gathering anything you may particularly need or do - do now and head straight to your ride.”

With that Agent Hill walked out of the room and you felt yourself screaming every single curse you knew inside your head as she left the two of you alone in the room.

 

* * *

 

The Siren.

A specially gifted young woman, who had been working with SHIELD since she gotten straight out of the special Academy they have. Her abilities though were really unique from what he read though. Steve had watched some video clips of her using her abilities from the file Hill brought and debriefed to him. She had the power to move water to her will. She could create tidal waves, freeze water and use ice instead, and she seemed to score really well in terms of Field and body assessment in terms of SHIELD.

Her most unique ability though was that she could actually help accelerate healing even certain mental issues.

Maybe that’s why they assigned her, since sometimes it felt like SHIELD wasn’t sure how to handle him. His past missions had been with Natasha, and a few with Barton, but sometimes he felt like they were almost coddling him.

But besides her gifted abilities, what also interested him was the fact that this young woman was the same one he had been...thinking about...for the past few weeks.

Since Steve had run into her that first time, he couldn’t quite get her out of his head. And so when he saw her picture in the file, Steve couldn’t wait to start the mission. Whenever he had the chance to BE on SHIELD headquarters, he hoped that he would run into the girl. But he didn’t run into her at all, even when he tried sort of going the same route and time he ran into her the first time around.

If Bucky was still here, he would be giving him the hardest of times, laughing at him. He always did at least with Steve’s crush on Peggy Carter. Although they weren’t soulmates, Steve felt a bond with her the moment they met.

With this agent, Steve felt the same connection as he did her - but much stronger.

Almost as if he had been waiting for her forever.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meeting Steve happened a lot faster than you thought huh? 
> 
> I totally did just slip in the Reader’s code name for SHIELD as well, it is indeed “The Siren” - felt that sounded cool and stuff being with water. 
> 
> Also I’m conflicted honestly with Reader if I should even bother putting up stuff about the Index and such. I might just leave that out entirely since that can be such a tricky thing to talk about. 
> 
> Also if you are not up to date with Agents of SHIELD S2 *SPOILER ALERT*
> 
> I know that Jemma technically wouldn’t be as open to enhanced humans and the like based on her reaction with Skye and that whole fiasco. However the Jemma I am writing has known about these powers since the Academy and has been studying dear Reader since then. She also hasn’t really gone through any trauma compared during this time. (Post-Avengers and Pre-Winter Solider) 
> 
> Again please comment and let me know if there is any feedback or something you would like to see in the future! Or if you’re too shy feel free to just shoot me a pm on [my tumblr](http://unrequitedstar.tumblr.com/)~


	4. Splash-Zone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again thank you for the lovely comments <3

“…so me and Siren will move in from this entrance,” Cap said while pointing at a point on the map detailing the whole layout of the base they were going to infiltrate, “And since this is a one level base - we can then later land and move the quinjet right above where the weapons are supposed to be...Once we secure the area, Agent Mackenzie will then create an opening in the ceiling so that we will have a direct out to the quinjet.”

Agent Mackenzie who was standing right next to you nodded, “That should be no problem I can stay with our pilot until you give me the go.”

“Agent,” Captain said directed to you, “As soon as you can reach the cargo - you can push them out upwards through the opening and into the quinjet, correct?”

“Yes it should be fine, the amount I can transport at a time though honestly depends how much there is and how heavy. I’ll need this...” you pointed on a particular spot on the map, “ water main to be broken open. Don’t worry about the water going about all over the place though, I can control that.”

Essentially if you had enough water you could move the water to surround each cargo and then move a continuous amount of water from underneath it to propell it upwards and towards the quinjet. In this case since you would have a copius amount, so no issues there.

Cap nodded, “Alright so then while you do that I can cover you and Mackenzie will be covering our pilot up above.”

“How much more time till we reach the base?” Rogers asked to the agent piloting the quinjet.

“We should be there in just another 10 minutes Captain,” Agent 33 responded back. With the plan all set in place, there was simply nothing to do except for double checking that you had your equipment ready and to wait. And do that all while also trying to avoid talking to Captain America.

Honestly besides talking to Captain about simple things for the mission at hand, you didn’t speak to him at all. Back earlier at Agent Hill’s briefing room, before Rogers could say anything you quickly excused yourself to “get ready” for the mission. Then later when you got into the quinjet, you busied yourself with “fixing” your night-night gun. After all who knows what would happen if you ran out of ammo or one of them broke right?

As you walked over to the table where you laid out your equipment earlier, you started to fiddle and clean your equipment, while trying to exude the aura of “I’M BUSY, DON’T TALK TO ME…please.” from every cell of your body. You felt a bit rude by not wanting to talk to him, since you normally would be nice and want to chat when you could. However this mission was a small one since there were simply four agents on this: Agent 33 on the quinjet, Agent Mackenzie, Captain Rogers, and yourself. Probably since they had a super solider and a gifted agent on the case, SHIELD felt it wasn’t necessary to have any other agents.

But for gods sake the last time you met Rogers was when he happened to coincidentally say your special words, and you blurted out how gorgeous he was.

And he said you were gorgeous back. You felt your skin flush at the thought again, heart fluttering fast, and this was most certainly NOT the place to have all this happen all over again. Eventually you should try to talk a bit with Rogers, but you still didn’t feel up to starting any of that right now. So if he chose to start first then he was more than open to and you would just have to accept it and talk back. I mean you were an Agent of SHIELD, you’ve learned how to cover up your feelings and act professionally. When the time came you could talk to Captain Rogers, even if you were screaming inside wanting to opt out of it all.

 

* * *

 

He couldn’t find a single appropriate moment to talk to the girl.

Steve had to admit, he was still pretty awkward when it came to talking to women. That or maybe it was also the fact that this gal made his heart race off the charts. However on a more tactical standpoint, he should find time to get to know this girl.

She was a gifted individual and he should understand how her power works, reports could only explain so much, and the videos he saw gave some visual. But he should be prepared for anything extra that the report may have forgotten to mention as well.

Just as Steve was walking over to the quiet girl, the other agent that was assigned to the mission - Agent Mackenzie approached her first.

“Siren, what are you doing? I’m sure you’ll be fine even if those guns didn’t work.”

Ignoring him she responded, “It’s better to be over prepared than under. Besides silencing them with this is less of a hassle compared to throwing icicles left and right.”

Laughing at her response, Mackenzie looked over to Steve and asked, “Have you two actually ever gone a mission together?”

“No, this is actually out first time,” the young agent responded and then with a slight smile she looked up at Steve, “It’ll be sort of cool to see how Captain America works first hand instead of on screen.”

“From the sounds of it though, seems like you in action would be more interesting to watch though,” Steve retorted back. She simply smiled back while strapping the pistols she was working on into her shoulder and waist holsters.

 

* * *

 

The mission was going smoothly so far, the group had successfully managed to get into the base pretty easily. Captain Rogers had been the first to go in, and he managed to take down pretty much the entire group of hostiles that were blocking their pathway. They weren’t able to simply just take over the entire base though, since Intel was unsure as to whether or not there was a kill switch in the base.

After all the objective was the retrieve all Chitauri weapons, not have them blown up into bits and gone forever.

There were at least four cargo cases that were loaded with Citaturi weapons. Sadly the size of the cargo cases were indeed too big for any one of you to merely pick up and carry so transportation would be all up to you. After you confirmed the area secure to your fellow agents through the earpiece you heard the sounds of Mackenzie creating a giant open wall in the ceiling so that you would have access to the quinjet that was waiting on stealth mode above. Cap broke a nearby water pipe to give you the source of water that you needed. So far, everything was going all according to plan.

As you started to bend the water under and around the cargo cases, you started to transport each one by one up through the opening the other agents have made - and straight into the quinjet. This may sound sort of simple it was exerting your body since you needed to concentrate and focus.

Getting in stealthily and quickly was the easy part but leaving with giant cargo cases? Of course LEAVING was not going to be easy. In fact backup for the group that had smuggled these weapons were already coming in trying to stop you all from taking them.

Out of the corner of your eye you saw Cap getting hurdled with over several men. Mackenzie wasn’t able to help him out since he was covering for Agent 33 who was piloting the quinjet up above.

Taking a deep breath, you pushed the last cargo unit into the quinjet with a huge splash of water...probably drenching the other agents, but it got the job done. You then spun around creating a giant ice spear and launched yourself at the men attacking Rogers, helping out lessen the load for him.

“It would help if you could at least take of yourself!” you yelled back with a soft grunt as you kicked one guy away.

“If you were paying attention, there was a whole lot more than just this little group earlier,” Rogers responded back as he slammed his shield into another man, “That’s all of them, correct?”

“Yeah, we can head out right...NOW!”

Mackenzie had thrown out a line from the opening above and Cap grabbed onto it. He then reached a hand out to you which you grabbed right away and then the two of you were hoisted up into the sky and back safely in the quinjet. As you got up you saw all the cargo safely ...but...

Mackenzie was completely drenched and dripping wet with water from the earlier...push you made with that last cargo unit.

“...I should have mentioned that I would like this to be a splash-free mission...”

 

* * *

 

“Thanks for the help earlier,” Steve said to you while unclipping his chin strap that attached to his helmet. As he took it off, you couldn’t help but smile at his messy helmet hair.

The whole mission had given you a rush of adrenaline...and since it was also successful, you were running off the rush of endorphins that usually came with a job well done. This was a feeling you would only get after a field mission, and of course if you weren’t injured, and this particular mission happened to be both. You felt more relaxed and the anxiety you felt earlier over Cap was definitely much more relaxed at the moment.

Give you another day or two though - you’d be back at your “Not going to talk to him.” phase.

“If you’re so thankful you could write my mission report for me then,” you said back to him openly deciding to go to straight to the teasing phase with Rogers. If you could openly tease with the guy and joke with him as a friend, things should be easier for you than in the long run.

“Oh is that were you’re going to go?” the Captain retorted raising an eyebrow at you, “We all have to make our own mission reports, so I don’t think I’d be able to write yours in your perspective very well anyways. All that water moving and such.”

“True, but doesn’t hurt to ask right? Besides I’m sure you could get away with it, Rogers.”

“Steve. Don’t worry about formalities, it’s fine to call me Steve.”

“That’s alright, I think I’ll stick to Captain and Rogers. I only call friends by their first names,” you retorted back. Maybe you were taking the teasing a bit too far to the point of flirting, but you were too far in right now. That and you weren't lying though, you didn't want to even call him his first name in your own thoughts.

He grinned back at you that seriously was just like shooting an arrow straight through your heart, "Well I guess we’ll have to do something about that then.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was mostly sort of painfully breaking the ice between Steve and the Reader. I felt it was sort of necessary to have something for Steve and the Reader to talk about and clear the air - that and sorta give Steve a clue as to what the Reader is capable of. 
> 
> I mean a cup of coffee sounds great - but if they’re both SHIELD might as well do something SHIELD like right? That and endorphins do make things so much easier in terms of meeting people after a run vs. awkward coffee shop meetings. 
> 
> For those of you waiting on dear old Bucky babe, don’t worry I’m crazy to see him too.
> 
> ...that and I think I’m honestly crazy ready to write him since I’m already starting writing on Chapter 6 & 7 (fixing up placements of things and the such) ... I just want to see Bucky too or get some of these problems that I wrote up - brought to light for everyone. And get to writing porn...


	5. Coffee Frustrations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Saturday Morning!!! Here is a chapter for all you lovelies! <3

“So remember how I bumped into you the first time we sort of met...?” Steve said slowly, trying to make more conversation with the agent. They still had a bit of time left till they reached back to home base, so he should make the best of it.

The girl’s face blanked out for a second, but then her eyes lit up again and she nodded, “Oh yes...but it was sort of me who bumped into you I think...aha...sorry again...” She sheepishly looked away while brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

“No it’s fine, I actually was worried that I hit you a lot harder than I thought.”

Siren smiled and gently shook her head, “Don’t worry I’m a lot tougher than I look. Besides again, it was me that ran into you.”

Steve then drew a blank.

How was he going to transition into asking her out for coffee?

Did he just go straight and ask her? Or would that be too stupid of him.

Steve had heard plenty of guys ask girls out like that, heck he’d seen Bucky even put on the moves when Bucky was showing Steve how it was done. He said that he’d need to be able to put up the moves whenever their Soulmate would show up, but Steve never managed to feel comfortable with it.

Suddenly the hatch opened, lowering. Before Steve had realized it, they were already back at the base. “It was a pleasure to work with you, Cap. Maybe I’ll see you around next time,” Siren had already started walking down the ramp and had her back turned to Steve.

“Maybe over a cup of coffee?” Steve replied back. He said it. He did it. Too late, so whatever happened now will happen...

She stopped walking and looked behind her, with the most...unreable expression on her face. He couldn’t tell if she was just deeply thinking about what he just said positively or negatively. She slightly smiled, “Too busy writing the report you won’t write for me.”

Before Steve could think of a good way to respond to that, she was already too far away from him and out of sight. Giving out a sad sigh at his clearly failed attempt, both because of the way he had poorly executed it and because of the outcome... Steve ran a hand through his hair. Something about this girl made him just not want to stop though. She was one of the biggest things that was “new” in this world, that made Steve really want to go out and do something about it. Not quite sure exactly why, but she made him want to cherish her.

He wouldn’t let this one attempt damper his spirit now since, maybe he’ll have a better chance next time.

 

* * *

 

After the mission with Captain Rogers you ended up having quite a lot more back to back missions with him. Of course it was with a small team usually, again probably since there would be a super solider and gifted agent. However the move you ended up having missions together, the more you two had time to talk to each other. During the ride back the two of you usually chatted it up pretty well. Most of the conversations were casual such as talking about hobbies, how both of you were doing, past missions (if protocol allowed it), favorite food, and the like. Nothing was particularly extremely deep into learning about one or the other honestly, but it was still something.

However what had sort of become a habbit was Cap asking you out for a cup of coffee - which you politely declined...or well avoided. You always found an excuse to say how you would love to but you had plans, whenever he asked to meet you during your off time. And that’s how the routine sort of started to go for the next few missions, since they all happened to be with the Captain. Part of you was screaming that you weren’t accepting his offers though. That part of you was probably why you never flat out said “NO” to him too.

It was fucking flattering as hell after all.

The Captain America, was asking you out to be friends OFF from work.

Sure he could actually really legitly asking you out as in like a date, but part of you wanted to keep as light about it as you could. Not only that, Rogers was really such a sweet and down to earth guy underneath all the Captain America he was.

But come on, he was still fucking Captain America. Why were you not climbing on that? **WHY?**

Slapping down the horny subconscious of yourself down that was screaming at you for not getting on that hunk of a man, you reminded yourself who he was to you. A work-friend.

Friends during work. That is what you had to distance yourself to if you wanted this all to work out with the residual feelings you had for the Captain. Heck that’s also why you STILL referred to him as “Captain” or “Rogers” even in your thoughts rather than by his first name even if you can sort of say he was a casual friend maybe. One of your barriers.

Currently, you and the rest of the team were on your way back from another successful mission. However it was a lot rougher since again - you had a small ass team fighting against ...a little mini army. Mackenzie had some injuries that you had already finished up healing for him, but you weren’t so sure about how Rogers was faring.

“Are you okay?” concerned you walked over to him, Rogers healed pretty fast for any minor injuries so you hadn’t had a chance to use your powers on him, “You know if you’re hurt that I can help that go away...”

“Well...I got scrapped by a bullet a bit back, but it should be fine in a couple hours or so - no need to worry about it.” He turned a bit to show you where there was a tear through his suit exposing his broken skin near the shoulder.

“A couple hours? Just let me have a go about it.” You moved behind him and reaching up to put your right hand on his wound before he could say anything else. Focusing your powers onto the wound for a few seconds, you then moved your hand back,

“Look, it’s good as new! Usually takes a little longer depending on the injury- but for you I guess it’s just a few seconds.”

Rogers touched his shoulder to feel the skin was unbroken, “I should go to you instead of going to medical and getting them to patch me up.”

“Well I guess that means I’ll have to start charging you, Captain,” you retorted back, “My prices aren’t exactly cheap too.”

“How about a cup of coffee? Maybe I’ll throw in a bagel with that too,” the Captain threw back at you. It was happening again...so you ignored his comment onto a new topic,

“So you’re finally taking the leap and moving to Washington?” you asked Rogers instead. He threw you a, _“really?”_ look with a raised eyebrow for you clearly not responding to his question - but he didn’t pursue it.

God he really wasn’t going to stop. At this rate you really were going to cave into him and his stupid charm one day.

But he’d have to stop sooner or later, right?

You knew the true reason why you were distancing yourself from him though.

It almost felt like the more Rogers pushed at it, the more you felt GUILTY to your future soulmates.

Flirting and dating now and then, topped with the occasional sex, was alright. That is what was socially acceptable in society before people met their soulmates. It was a way of “living life” before fate had you meet your soulmate. In fact you might even meet your soulmate because of other partners. However these partners were fleeting and slight attachments.

With Captain, your feelings for him were sometimes so overwhelming that you felt like you were essentially cheating on your soulmates. And... you wanted to throw some of the blame on him since Captain was also being so polite and trying to give you space at the same time. On top of that he was fucking hot and you couldn’t stop ogling him when you found an open chance to look at him from head to toe without being caught.

You almost didn’t know what you wanted.

Did you want him or did you want to be loyal to your soulmates?

It was a bit weird since it felt like you were sort of bordering on saying you wanted him AND to be loyal to your soulmates.

Alright well ...you had two soulmates though, so you decided to give them the leverage rather than just Rogers. Two Soulmates vs Rogers? Soulmates will just get that automatic win since majority rules.

Alright but you still had some bit of a something going on with your feelings to Captain, so what were you to do with that? Clearly he wasn’t going to drop his offers...well at least for now, so you could continue to dodge him or...

Maybe sleeping with Captain would take off the edge?

...one night stand with Captain America.

_Yeah, right._

 

* * *

 

“So I hear you’ve been declining Steve a whole bunch of times, want to tell me what’s up with that?” the widow had her arms folded and was leaning against the wall giving you a judgy stare.

Captain Rogers had officially moved into Washington maybe a few months ago. Or was it much longer ago? You weren’t keeping count, however his offers to take you out to coffee didn’t stop. They did seem to grow less and less persistent though, especially since you had missions with him only now and then. If you ever did bump to him off mission, there was always some way for you to slip out.

You had decided to date around still, but Captain Rogers was off limits. He made you feel like you were cheating on your soulmates in the future, that the attachment you had with Rogers wouldn’t just disappear.

If that was the case, it was better to just leave that door closed.

“Did he tell you that? I didn’t know you were such close friends,” you retorted back to her.

“No he didn’t have to, in fact I don’t even think he knows you and I are good friends. Also I actually just heard you decline him once, I didn’t know it was a regular thing,” she smirked. Obviously she had been pretending that she knew, a trick she commonly used to figure out information, and had effectively worked on you.

“That’s not nice to do to your friends,” rolling your eyes with a groan, “And why is that a big deal? It’s not the first time I declined guys who want to hang out.”

“Maybe since I thought he was your type - sweet, good looking, and the mascot for being a symbol of peace and justice deal.”

“Well maybe I just am not in the mood or mindset to be dating right now.”

“Dating? I thought it just as a friendly hang out between friends for you and Steve.”

“Damnit Nat, now it’s really not cool! Please stop baiting me around,” you groaned, “Can we please just drop it for now, I really prefer to not talk about it. If you want me and Rogers to hang out so badly then make some group hangout with everyone as FRIENDS. Move onto the next subject.”

Clearly understanding and respecting that it was getting on your nerves Nat then said, “Well...seems they’re making new teams in the special STRIKE Unit. I’m here to give you the files and paperwork on it. If you’re interested that is. As you know, I’m already a part of it and Steve is joining in for the unit as well now.”

As she was about to hand you the folder you gently put your hand on it and shook your head, “I’ll have to decline on that Nat. That team has Rumlow on it, right?”

“Brock Rumlow, yep.”

“Agent Hill once offered me a chance to join in on STRIKE Unit. Too a while back... While sure it sounds cool and hardcore on the missions, besides helping out with the unit now and then - I’d prefer to not join it,” you then slowly continued, “And I don’t really like Rumlow, I had a mission with him once and he’s just someone I’d hate to work with all the time honestly. Too rough, too brutal, he’s annoying...and I now sound like I’m whining, but let me have it since I have the right to not like whomever I want, Nat.”

“Alright I won’t push it on this one, just thought it would be nice to see you more often if we were on the same unit. Your skills would be prettttty helpful too, but don’t worry we’ll call on you when we need to,” she smiled whie swiping your coffee to take a sip, “Anyways I’m making plans for us, I’ll tell you about it in the future. But you owe me a night of fun. Probably a Saturday. Keep it free from another other plans, and I’ll make sure that SHIELD doesn’t mess with it.”

You grinned back at the redhead, “Only because it’s for you Nat.”

 

* * *

 

A few weeks after you met Nat, they had assigned you to a mission with STRIKE. You were there for both medical and backup support since the mission dealt with hostages. The quinjet was already in the air, and you sat in the background while Rumlow gave the rundown to Captain Rogers, Nat, and the other guys. STRIKE was an already pretty hardcore team without Captain Rogers and Nat, but since it dealt with a ship out in sea - you were a nice cushion to help out. That and hostages meant that some of them could be injured, so you would be able to help out with it.

As Rogers started to direct what would be happening he then looked over to you, “Siren you’ll arrive with Rumlow and the others. Help assess if any of the hostages need any medical attention and then move them to life pods.”

You nodded and then Rumlow told you and the rest of the crew to gear up. Picking up the ear pieces and as the crew started to check their gear and the such, you ignored the rest of the STRIKE crew since they were just...too uptight for your liking. Not to mention even if you could kick their asses, there was too much testosterone in the air for you to breathe. As you started to walk over to Nat, you heard her talking to Steve if he was free next Saturday...

That was the Saturday that she had made you to get free! Nat?!

But as you continued to overhear, she was clearly trying to set him up with some other girl. Captain later jumped off, you looked at Nat who shrugged casually, “Don’t give me that look. If you aren’t going to do go with him, he might as well get someone else right?”

Oh no you weren’t going to go for this.

What type of scheme was that woman thinking now? Was she legit trying to help stop this whole Cap and you thing or was she trying to instead pushing at you to just try something with Cap? Rolling your eyes, trying to keep the tinge of jealously down, you nodded. “Fine, then how about you find me a date?”

She tilted her head towards Rumlow to which you groaned, “Never mind forget it.”

 

* * *

 

When Natasha mentioned getting him with another girl, all Steve could think about was Siren. During his free-fall, that was all he could still think about, and she had been continuously rejecting him since their first mission together.

For him, it came to the point where he wasn’t even really nervous or shy to ask her - since it felt like he was partially setting himself up for rejection, and he was prepared for her to say no.

His persistence on still trying to get with her on some type of level, was something. Sadly she wasn’t his soulmate, but Steve had accepted the possibility that he had muddled up that chance to meet his other soulmate when he went into the ice.

Bucky’s second set of words had the same identical writing as Steve’s. Back then, hiring a graphologist to professionally assess their marks was so expensiv so they actually weren't exactly sure if their soulmate was the same person. But the two of them always “felt” that they were the same and when they tried to analyze it themselves they thought it matched up. So when they had the chance, they had SSR graphologists confirm their suspicions down that the writing is the same style.

Their other soulmate was most likely for sure tied in with both of them. However...

There wasn’t any other way that Steve would see Bucky again...and Bucky never got to meet their other soulmate either...

That time he thought he heard those words being spoken, were just a distance dream he hoped would happen one day just like those sleepless nights he and Bucky would occasionally have back then.

Everything was changed, everyone he knew was gone, and so he had to move on.

To him, it felt like Siren would be a big step to moving on.

She sparked something in him, and they even hit it off in terms of talking and such. Being around her, always made him want to smile.

He hadn’t reached a point in their relationship where he could outright ask about her soulmate though, and that’s exactly why he had been trying to take her out for coffee.

After a mission, during a mission - that just wasn’t the the place Steve wanted to ask such intimate of a question for her.

If her soulmate was no more or if she was a Null...that meant that he would have a chance with her.

Of course if she did have a soulmate, but didn’t meet them yet...

Hm.

...that still didn’t deter him much actually. Strange...

All he knew was that first, he wanted to get to know this girl more on a personal level instead of this light “coworker” friendship that they seemed to currently going.

As Steve ran across the ship, continuously knocking down pirates as he went - he thought to himself,

Well, tonight he had another chance to ask her out as usual, right?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter was actually much more heavily edited than I expected. Ended up taking out a lot more scenes in here than I thought and adding a lot more and then taking others out?! - and it still ended up long.
> 
> I hope this sort of clears up /why/ at least Steve has not pursued the whole thing with his Soulmate earlier and a bit more of why Reader does not pursue Steve. 
> 
> And yes we are at the Winter Solider movie arc! :D 
> 
>  
> 
> [Tumblr me! :D](unrequitedstar.tumblr.com)


	6. Memory Lane

During the ride back from the mission things were very tense between Nat and Rogers. It wasn’t that they were ignoring each other, it was just that they...had this strong tension between them both. You didn’t pry as you tended to Nat’s wounds during the ride right now, but would probably ask her later. So after tending her wounds you walked over to the Captain,

“Need some healing?” you said giving a slight wave of your hands to him. He looked back at you softly, but he had this gaze that showed that he was miles away from where he was right now.

“I suppose my arm is a bit torn same with my shin, but if it’s not going to cost anything for me - go right ahead.”

Nodding, you sat down next to him turning your body towards him while he towards you.

“So did you hear about your exhibit at the Smithsonian?” you added quite cheerfully while you gently place your hands on his forearm, “I heard it was quite the exhibit.”

“Ah yeah, I remember hearing about that. A while back I remember it being mentioned to me. Apparently they have a lot of my old things...for public display...” he gently trailed off.

“Oh my gosh I’m so sorry!” apologizing quickly while removing your hands away from him, “I didn’t mean to...”

Rogers laughed softly, “It’s alright, I guess it’s considered museum material now anyways since it’s pretty ...’old’. They did ask beforehand if it was alright to keep it up for display anyways.”

“That’s good...” Sighing with relief, you put your hands back onto him - this time to his other forearm, “Also you could have told me this one was hurting too.”

“You could tell?” arching an eyebrow, while you quickly healed his other arm.

“More like...I can feel...or sense what’s not ‘right’ when I’m touching you. And I could technically heal those areas on your legs even if I’m touching your arm right now...but it just takes out a lot of energy from me. So that’s why I directly touch the source of said pain instead. ”

After you finished healing the rest of the little injuries Captain had here and there you gave a big yawn, healing the crew of STRIKE had been easy since everyone had minor injuries - but you had also helped with the hostage group earlier. Healing Rogers was the easiest, but it felt like you had literally just given him the last of your strength.

“Hey Captain?”

“Yeah?” you felt his body sort of scooch closer to you, but you were too tired to process it or freak out. At this closeness though you could feel his body with your powers, how he was clearly mentally stressed out. You didn’t have any energy to help soothe him though, so you tried the old fashion way.

“Good job on this mission,” you simply said with a smile and then closing your eyes feeling everything fade out.

 

* * *

 

Steve gently smiled as he looked at the agent who was sleeping besides him. She was gently leaning against his shoulder with her head occasionally bobbing back and forth as she slept. As well as the gentle curve of her breast that was flushed up against his arm...which he tried to not focus on, but he couldn’t help but notice. What really touched him though was her sweet words before she passed out. It felt like those few words just sent a wave of that special healing power of hers right into his heart.

“Did she just knock out?” Natasha said looking over at the sleeping girl next to you, “Wait, she healed you too?!”

Steve furrowed his eyebrows at her “too” and realized that he had been so deeply thinking about what Natasha and Fury were doing - that he forgot that the Siren’s mission was to deal with medic support for the hostages. When it came to Siren, Steve had a tendency to not think of her with his Cap mentality as much as he really should. He had earlier sort of noticed her going later to each STRIKE member and then Natasha before him, but he had been so wrapped up in his thoughts earlier he didn’t realize that he just drew out the rest of her strength.

Running a hand thorough his hair in frustration he responded back to the glaring agent, “Yeah, I didn’t know that she could actually figure out every single one...”

“Well I’ll have you know that she’s a good friend of mine, so next time be a little bit more careful with her. When she drains her energy out like this she sleeps like the dead for hours," she replied a little bitterly, “I’m all up for you having the hots for her - but knocking her out already before you sleep with her is another story.”

“Hey!”

“What? I just gave you my consent, shouldn’t that make you feel a bit more relaxed? Not only that but I’ve heard about your failed attempts to hang out with her. You’re going to be put into a museum first before you can get a date with her at this rate.”

“I’m working on that,” he replied not really wanting to hear another voice talking about his romantic endevours with the Siren, since with her he felt a little bit touchy.

“I’ll make it easier and say that I can make her your date for Saturday instead. Though it’s not really a date, more like a friendly get together. Maybe that will help lead onto an actual date with her.”

Steve hated to admit that her reasoning was sound and right, especially since he would have actually gone to that plan instead eventually. It's just that he did just really want to spend one on one time with her...but if this is what it would take Steve would do it. He was trying to take things slow, but to have her beat him to the punch on his own plan with Siren was frustrating nonetheless.

“Fine. Saturday it is.”

“Good. Now move out the way so that I can sit there.”

“What?”

“You can have you way with her later if she wants, but I think she would prefer to wake up next to her lovely friend’s shoulder - rather than the beefy steel shoulder of Captain America. Less stress on her.” Steve sighed as he got up reluctantly, while Nat sat down and leaned Siren to rest over her own shoulder, “That and watching you squirm like some kicked puppy is pretty funny.”

 

* * *

 

When Steve got back from the mission, he had a lot on his mind.

Talked with Fury and now a little walk down memory lane when he went to check out the Smithsonian exhibit. Steve half considered asking Siren to come with him instead of asking her for the usual coffee...but that’d be just awkward since this is an exhibit all about HIM.

...and Bucky.

Steve looked over the small memorial they had to his best friend and soulmate.

To the public, no one knew that James Buchanan Barnes was Steve’s soulmate. Back then their family knew and actually Bucky’s family more than happily accepted it. Bucky’s mom was particularly happy since she got another son.

Steve remembered going over and how they would all be talking about when the two of them would hurry up and find their third soulmate as well.

Rebecca, Bucky’s sister, had always hoped it would be a girl. During dinners she would talk about how she would go shopping with their girl, get their hair done, and gossip around together.

Bucky - Bucky would always talk about how much he wanted to take their soulmate dancing if it was a girl. He went into a habit of taking it that Bucky would know what to do when he first danced with their gal. Wanted to show her all the tricks that he knew and wow the shoes off her feet, so that she would never ever want to leave them. Sometimes Bucky made would ask Steve to dance with him so he could practice before the war. Then after the serum Bucky still did it, but he would change it up and take the lead on Bucky instead. In return Bucky would complain how Steve wasn’t that much of a cute stand in anymore, jokingly.

Steve wanted to keep as many firsts as he could all just for their soulmate.

Well there was an exception back then, Peggy Carter.

And of course if their soulmate was a man, that didn’t change anything either. They would still love them. But here he was, doing it again.

Once again he was living in the past.

A past that Steve still couldn’t forget.

A past that Steve still honestly wanted.

He walked past Bucky’s memorial to continue on with the exhibit...trying to stop himself from getting upset about the past, and instead learn to accept it and move on. That’s what Peggy would always tell him at least whenever Steve went to do his visits to her.

The first time Steve visited her, it was really difficult. To suddenly see how she had changed compared to how Steve last remembered her. It made him feel like he had been left behind.

That’s how he should be too. Not having skipped years to be where he was now. But Peggy would always laugh at him saying he should stop it and try to live what he could now instead.

Back then, Peggy did know that Steve and Bucky were soulmates - and knew that they had a third they were still waiting on. Peggy too- also had a soulmate that she did not meet yet...but she too felt a connection to Steve as did he.

Peggy would always have a special place in his heart, even if she wasn’t a soulmate, she was the first one to after all have Steve’s first dance.

From the first time Steve visited her, to every single visit Steve came by to visit Peggy - they danced.

Sometimes it hurt him, making him wish that Peggy was younger so that she could enjoy it better (which she would even say to him too), but at the same time it also brought happiness inside him. He had even mentioned to Peggy during one of his visits about Siren, and when he mentioned how conflicted he was with the girl - she laughed saying he shouldn’t be worrying about it and just go straight for her.

But what hurt him the most was to see Peggy relapse back and forth. Going between being there with him...to being gone in the next second. He wished that he could do more for her, and that’s one of the reasons he wanted to stay with SHIELD because she founded it as well with Steve’s other friends.

As Steve drove back to his apartment on his bike, he thought about how next Saturday that would be the day when he would also finally get some time to see Siren off work.

Smiling to himself on his walk up the stairs...he mused how he should go about with her next Saturday. Even if it was a “group” get together that Natasha was planning.

Steve expected the next time he see her, would be that Saturday.

He certainly didn’t expect the next time he saw her, that he would be fighting one on one with the agent that he last saw peacefully resting.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is a bit of a filler chapter but ;;; I sort of thought of this being a random deleted scene-chapter deal, but at the same time the pace felt a little too crazy too if I just went BAM into everything. 
> 
> I hope the Peggy talk wasn’t too confusing. Was debating on just leaving her out entirely but thought that might leave a loose end. I thought it would also help explain or reason with Steve on the whole having a thing for a non-soulmate. WHEN of course reader IS his soulmate but he doesn’t know that. 
> 
> I’m a tad worried that the next few chapters might be too fast actually...so I hope that I’m not suddenly going to fast.


	7. Take it Off

Everything was confusing right now.

Steve had just managed to take down the quinjet and get across the bridge. However he had to admit his whole body ached from jumping out of the SHIELD building. Right now his objective was to hide, get out of sight from SHIELD and head over back to the hospital. He was making good on covering ground and out and right now he was going through a parking garage and was going to then jump to the building next over...but...he had noticed that there was an Agent trailing after him once he got into the garage.

What he didn’t expect was that it would be the Siren.

Steve had expected it to be a normal agent using some gadget of one time, but instead she slipped him from underneath with ice. He quickly recovered by flipping onto a car, but knew it wouldn’t be much use since her power’s limits was to the sky. He never had gone into one on one combat before with her powers, not even see everything that she was capable of - but it was clear that she had a very tricky power that even he had an issue with. It seemed with every mission that he had with her Steve always ended up finding out something new she could do. Steve honestly felt a little betrayed as well to have her actually fighting him as well, but he didn’t have time to assess his feelings on this.

Every time Steve tried to get closer to her - she somehow managed to suddenly make him slip by spreading a thin layer of ice beneath his feet. One time she even tried holding him down by encasing his feet with ice. She wasn’t quick enough though or probably didn’t have enough water since the ice restraints she kept on making - wasn’t enough to hold him for long. It was easy for him to break out of as soon as it solidified around him.

“We don’t have to do this!” Steve called out to her, but she didn’t say anything as she continued to fight him back. Siren just continued to launch ice daggers from around towards him, which he had to block with his shield.

“I’m a little insulted that you won’t fight back against me Cap!” she said while jumping at him, trying to clearly strike him with a giant ice spear. As Steve moved his arms to block it with his shield, the form quickly changed into a ...whip?

The whip knocked him off his feet and he fell onto his back hard, crashing against a bed of ice she probably just made. Siren walked over to him with a smug smirk on her face, “See what you get for insulting me, Cap’n?”

He couldn’t deny that a bit of him was fixated on the way her hips were moving as she slowly walked over to him and got closer. However once she was at a close enough distance, Steve quickly jumped back up onto his feet and then pinned her down underneath him.

“Stop it, I don’t want to hurt you!”

Steve looked at her face, to see that she was breathing heavily, and honestly he didn’t know quite what to do at the moment. Was he to knock her out, or...try to talk to her...? Before he could say anything else to her though, she quietly said to him sternly,

“Take it off, _Steve._ ”

“W-What...?”

“I said **take it off** , Steve,” she said again quietly, “your uniform is hot on you and all, but there’s a tracker in the suit. Take it off and hide it.”

He must have loosened his grip on her during his slight hesitation and confusion of her saying his first name for the first time too, because she then put her hands up towards his shoulders...and suddenly felt his earlier injuries that he had received from falling out of the building - disappear. Steve felt like he was pretty much 100% if not 110% new again.

“What are you-”

“Shut up. I can’t do anything much beyond this for you, except tell you that you need to get the fuck out of here and do something about the suit. They’ll probably be here in eight minutes tops, so you gotta get moving,” she then paused, “Oh and to also knock me out so that I won’t get caught for helping you. And right now would be quite nice.”

“I’m not going to knock you out after what you just said- and what you just did!” Steve protested while he started to move off of her. He moved back so that he was crouching and helped her get up into a sitting position. She was clearly upset, but he didn’t have the time. Siren however just ran a hand through her hair and then huffed,

“Fine just at least take my fucking gun with you then?”

Before he could say anything else, Siren took out her Icer from her hip and shot herself with it in the side, knocking herself out completely. Steve caught her before she would hit the ground quite hard, but things were happening so fast, Steve wasn’t sure what to do now. He knew why she did it, she was probably going to cover for him...but going back to SHIELD wouldn’t be the best idea either...

He debated over taking her passed out body with him anyways so she could avoid going back, but that would clearly slow him down and make her efforts a total waste. Steve would have to trust her, respect her plan and her decisions that she made to help him out. Moving the body that was in his arms, he gently laid her down on the ground- to his dismay though since it was on the parking garage floor. He then grabbed the gun out of her hand and paused looking her over. Reaching over the agent, he pecked her forehead murmuring a soft thank you and then sprinted off.

He’d have to change his plans to taking her out to coffee to a fancy dinner with a movie and more instead.

 

* * *

 

Fury was dead.

It apparently happened last night - an assassin had shot him down.

SHIELD was in a bit of chaos, or more-so just going through a lot of gossip and wonders of what was going to happen now since the director was gone. There was still the council and Pierce, but things were going to change. STRIKE members were with the Captain and Natasha in the hospital, as well as Agent Hill. For you though, you had been summoned into the control room to be put on standby ASAP.

...but standby for what?

The moment you got there, you were literally just there standing and waiting till someone said something to you about what your orders were going to be.

Suddenly all screens were showing Captain Rogers from various angles. He was walking to the elevators and... Slowly there were more and more STRIKE soldiers entering inside. Another group entered but as you continued watching...it was obvious that they weren’t any “normal” SHIELD worker. Clearly Rogers figured it out, “Before we get started, does anyone want to get out?”

Your heart was racing and your mind was thrown into confusion as you watched the fight unfold. What was happening?! Why were they doing this?! The fuck?!

“Siren,” Sitwell called to you, snapping you out of your thoughts, "Your orders are to help retrieve the Captain, use any means necessary. Head out now.”

Taking a deep breath, you remembered how you had gone over such things with Natasha before. In terms of shit going down and how you need to calmly try to think things through as fucking quickly as possible. Right now you were going to have to listen to his orders, find the first opening you get, and do it. Nodding to him you replied, “Yes sir.”

As you headed down to the garage you grabbed a motorbike, something you rarely did since you hated driving those things, but was trained to drive it anyways and this would at least be easier to bypass narrow streets and cars. You sped off into the direction that Cap was supposed to be at based on the monitor of your screen.

Alright you can do this. **THINK.**

For some reason SHIELD was taking down Captain America. Symbol of all things America. Okay well clearly that was bullshit.

Well who did you side with?

Cap of course.

Alright well that’s one thing sorted out.

Next what could you do to HELP him?

Well you could- ...oh wow did he take down that quinjet with just his shield, you saw as you zoomed past the remains of a jet. _O-kay_...moving on...and note to self, stay on Cap’s good side.

So what could you do to help him...was it?

You could help him by getting the fuck away. (Though again does he really need your help...)

CLEARLY they are pulling out everything to STOP him with violent measures. You didn’t want anything bad to happen to him. So your goal right now was to help Rogers escape safely away from SHIELD so he could sort things out with them.

The only way he could sort things out though was if there was someone in the inside right?

That’s what you could do!

Duh of course, be a double agent. Nat does this all the time - you could do this too!

A part of you though didn’t like this...since you wanted to know the SHIELD side of what the fuck was happening. But Cap was on your priority.

Gosh...

Steve could easily get away if he didn’t at least have that blasted lovely suit on though, did he know that he even had a tracker in his suit? Also he might be badly injured from jumping out of the building, you thought to yourself. You had pulled over to the parking garage that Rogers was supposed to be in based on the tracker. So another thing would be to also heal him if you could...

They would probably also be mobilizing the rest of the STRIKE team that remained to also help detain the Captain after you left...not to mention you didn’t know if there were any other special agents going to the scene who would see what you were doing. STRIKE was mostly out of question since the top guys were probably still out cold in the elevator - and launching a special jet was a bit too narrow for the current location you were going to.

As you rushed up the stairs you realized that you would have to fight Rogers.

Alright. The only way you could go back to SHIELD is to double agent, and you would have to fight with Rogers for a bit. As exciting as it was to sort of get a chance to spar with Captain America though - you were also freaking out at this crazy plan you made up. Was everything adding up? Was everything sorta sounding like a plan you had that could work?

You were going to fight Rogers, heal him, somehow lose, then go back to SHIELD helping out suck out any information that you will have to later figure out to get to Captain. Those details could be figured out later, right now - Captain comes first.

 

* * *

 

During the fight, you could clearly tell he wasn’t going to lay a single punch on you though. Difficult man. How was he going to later knock you out?! Well...not like you were going all out on him too honestly...but you had to find someway for him to get close to you so you could talk to him. Though you also wanted to yell it out to Cap, you were being light on the fight with him too. When he fell from your ice whip that he didn’t expect - based from his reaction - you could have obviously covered his WHOLE entire body in a huge sheet of ice to prevent him from moving.

...but you didn’t want to since she feared that it would bring some unpleasant memories for him. This whole SHIELD thing was bullshit already, you sure as fucking hell wasn’t going to add for another thing to have to remember.

Honestly during your whole fight with Cap, it was just hard. You were upset at SHIELD, Cap, the whole fucking world. What was going on?! So giving orders and having Cap be the one all flustered at what you were saying was a bit refreshing.

But you sure as fucking hell was going to tell him that later when you saw him!

Good thing you had your Icer with you thought...he had to be a gentlemen to the end, huh? Or was it really a gentleman-ly thing of him to do by him letting you finish yourself off?

The real last thoughts you thought to yourself though for that microsecond before the Icer took you out thought was,

_Stay safe..._

 

* * *

 

However just as Captain wasn’t prepared earlier to find himself fighting you earlier though, you didn’t expect to open your eyes to find yourself in some dingy green low lit room...

Quickly opening your eyes widely and sitting upright - which was a bad mistake since you were extremely woozy. Your head felt like there was a million needles stabbing at it, but you realized it was nothing physically on you and all internal. Blinking, you saw that you were currently on a cell bed and locked behind bars in some rustic looking jail of some sorts.

The low voice of Rumlow then rumbled, “Hope you had some sweet dreams, girl.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER. I also totally took the scene that was intended for Hawkeye but twisted it around to fit for Reader. That idea is no in any way mine I just twisted the scene up for Reader~
> 
> As always if you can, please let me hear your feedback on the story! :D


	8. Breakout

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween! Please read end notes for some big questions I have, thank you so much for reading this fic of mine also :) 
> 
> WARNING: Possible trigger warning. Nothing bad actually happens - but implications of what could possibly happen ie. Rape. Violence I suppose as well, again nothing big - but I feel I should put it out there in case anyways.

After Steve had found out that Fury was alive...and so was Bucky...his mind was a storm.

It was his fault that he didn’t try harder, he didn’t try to even find Bucky’s body. Of course. On top of that, apparently they didn’t know what happened to Siren after Steve had the run in with her a couple days back.

_“We initially were going to recruit her too, however before we could try to contact her - she was already snatched up by Sitwell,” Agent Hill explained earlier, “It’s a pity since she was a backup plan too, since she has that crazy healing power...”_

_There was an uncomfortable silence and pause at the tension in the air between everyone. Natasha sighed breaking it, “Don’t worry too much Steve, she’s a big girl. You know she has pretty good powers too...and not to mention she returned back to SHIELD to help you out somehow. We’ll hopefully hear from her soon or something.”_

Either way, Steve didn’t like this bad feeling that he had when he thought about her. He couldn’t shake off that something was wrong, but maybe he was just over thinking everything.

The other thing that started to leak into his mind besides her and Bucky though was...his missing soulmate.

Bucky was alive.

That was what he was constantly thinking about and what was on his mind. And another thing was the fact that Steve had been brushing off the fact that their other soulmate was a long lost dream because Bucky wasn’t there with him too. If Bucky wasn’t alive to meet their other soulmate, how would Steve be able to accept he could meet them too?

He had been running away from the fact that he essentially also gave up on them.

What if those words he heard way back ...were actually from his soulmate? After all it was Fury that had been there when he woke up...would it really be a surprise if he had hidden something else from him?

Steve was conflicted. He had failed Bucky. But he had also basically erased the possibility of their third soulmate too. On top of that he couldn’t help but also worry about Siren as well.

What was wrong with him?

Clenching his fists and taking a deep breath Steve tried to narrow down what he should do and put his priorities at.

Bucky was alive and saving everyone was his current mission.

 

* * *

 

Your hands were tied back, and they had some sort of special handcuffs on you for you couldn't not only move your hands - but even open your palms. Rumlow was behind the bars giving you a stare that gave you a bad case of the chills running running up your spine and to your shoulders.

What was he doing. Why were you here? Where was here? Fuck. This is NOT what you planned on happening or even EXPECTED to happen!

“Shouldn’t say it’s much of a surprise you’re down here. Though it would’ve been better if they decided to take you from the start much earlier...”

...earlier? What the fuck is he talking about. You wanted to ask more but decided to stick with the not talking approach. Not to mention the current situation you were tied up to didn’t make anything safe right now. Every alarm bell in your brain and body was screaming.

“If they had let me know that they planned on using you to ‘willingly’ retrieve the Cap, they would have known that you would’ve been a poor choice.” Rumlow shrugged.

“Now now, even Hydra has to have their own flaws,” another voice said that came out. An older man that you recognized as Alexander Pierce walked up next to Pierce, “Look on the bright side, we have a valuable asset still in our hands. Although she’ll most likely need some work...Well take her out. The machine should be ready for her by now.”

H-Hydra...? Wasn’t that the old group that Cap had fought back against in the 1940s with the whole Howling Commandos and the Red Skull thing? Back in World War II. With no more time to think of it anymore Pierce nodded to Rumlow. Rumlow then opened the cell you were in, and grabbed your arm and shoulder - forcing you to get up on your feet off the bed. You however shrugged him off forcefully back and glared at him,

**“Get your hands off of me.”**

He paused still giving you an intense stare, “Just helping a fellow agent out...”

Glaring at him, you walked out of the cell following him and the other men. Although your current mind set was on PANIC for your life you knew it would be best to comply for now. In your current condition there was no way that you could successfully take them down and run. Your hands were locked and there were several men. Sure you could probably try to do some of Nat’s signature Black Widow moves with your legs and all, but these were STRIKE guys. You were helpless you sadly admitted, so you had to wait to see if there was any opening, and hopefully one will come soon before you get...to the machine...or whatever...

Fuck if you knew this was going to happen, you would never have knocked yourself out earlier. You would have ran with Cap...

Fighting back on tears you tried to focus back into what you CAN control though. Don’t worry about the past, worry about the present. The group walked up to another set of cell doors, where there were men dressed up quite...nicely with bow ties. A doctor went up to Pierce while the group that you were being led by saying, “He came back. Right now we’re repairing him in the usual room.”

Pierce nodded and the group continued walking down the dark green hallways until they reached a bigger room. Other doctors before the room said to Pierce that some guy in there was unstable, but he ignored them and the continued walking.

There were doctors and machines surrounding a single chair where a man was sitting on it. Other STRIKE soldiers you recognized were also in the room with their guns up and aimed at him. The man sitting down though was what caught your eye.

He was shirtless and had a scraggy mat of hair on his head, his eyes were sunken, and he looked like he had been through hell. But his most striking point was the metal left arm on him that it seemed that the doctors in the room were working on.

However the guy was so strikingly handsome to you, despite everything. It felt like your heart was breaking since he seemed to have the most lost look on his face. You felt as if you could feel his pain and you wanted to do everything to take it away from him. As if sensing the looks you were giving him, the man turned to look directly at you.

His eyes were an icy blue storm, and it almost felt like he was trying to figure out what you were and what you were doing here. You felt a tinge on your heart ...not sure if it was actually in fear or something else...

His eyebrows furrowed at you in curiosity, but then he gave you a look that made it feel like...he was...pitying you.

“Prep the machine to wipe Siren. I believe you should be done with putting the settings on for helping her to comply?”

“Yes sir, however...we had to change the settings since right now...” the doctor gestured to the guy with a metal arm currently sitting in the chair.

Pierce glanced at him, “Mission Report.”

“Mission Report, now.” Pierce repeated to the man.

No response.

Pierce walked up closer to the man and leaned down, suddenly backhanding the guy. Your eyes widened and you gasped, as if you were the one who had gotten backhanded instead. However the man just slowly turned back to Pierce as if he was knocked out of that weird trance he was in earlier...

“The man on the bridge...who was he?”

“You met him earlier this week on another assignment.”

“I knew him.” the guy said back with a look of confusion.

Pierce tilted his head and then scooted a chair that he could sit on, “Your work has been a gift for mankind. You shaped the century and I need you to do it one more time. Society is a tipping point between order and chaos. Tomorrow morning we are going to give it a push. But if you don’t do your part, I can’t do mine. And Hydra can’t give the world the freedom it deserves.”

As if content with his speech, Pierce stood up again and then said to the doctors, “Move him to the other location. Get the girl right now for the wipe.”

Your eyes widened in full blown panic. Wipe what. What are they doing. What were they going to do to you. As Rumlow started to move you closer towards the chair, the man who was sitting down spoke up again,

“But I knew him.”

There was an awkward moment of silence until Pierce turned back around and sighed shaking his head, “Never mind since he’s had the procedure, prep him instead.”

“He’s been out of cyro freeze too long...” one of the doctors said.

“Then wipe him and start over.” Pierce responded, “We’ll postpone the girl’s for later.”

You felt yourself sigh internally with relief, but then got a little bit worried. They weren’t going to wipe you now, but instead the poor cat on the seat. The doctors pushed he guy back against the seat, while then giving him a mouth guard for him to wear which he willingly took. The whole atmosphere in the room was so tense that even you could tell that Rumlow was all tensed up, standing besides you.

The scene that unfolded before you though, wasn’t something you were prepared to watch. The sides of the chair suddenly strapped the man in and a low humming sound from the machines started to buzz. As the machine then slowly started to move and then clamp onto the mans head, letting out a loud electric shock - the man screamed.

You wanted to yell out in shock, but you bit your tongue down and held it. Then Rumlow was pulling your arm away from the scene and back into the cell that you had originally woke up in.

 

* * *

 

  
The icey blue eyes and the man’s painful cries were all all you could think about.

_Get your mind off that right now, Siren._

You gently told yourself and shaking your head.

Right now you have to figure out how to get out of here.

Then later, you can try to see if there is anyway you can help save that guy.

But was he someone to save? Your heart without hesitation said YES but the logical side of you wasn’t sure since he seemed that he was helping Pierce. He did after all have a mission report that he didn’t end up giving Pierce, but ...then again there was always an explanation for things.

You had been in that cell for probably at least a day ...but who knew how long you had been knocked out for earlier. After the incident with the man and the wiping machine, they had brought you back to your cell since they were busy with their other plans apparently. Instead they made you take a series of body scans and drew blood from you. Nothing else had happened much, besides them knocking in some drug though into your system. It didn’t make you sleepy though, it just made you feel as if you were walking through a thick haze. Apparently this would help later with the wipe you had heard the doctors mention to each other. However it had been hours and you were feeling the drug slowly fade, your mind feeling much more clearer than it did before.

What was the wipe though...from the looks of it, and what you could pierce together - it was probably some time of mind control machine.

Shivering at the thought, it just reminded you how much you needed to get the fuck out of here and fast.

Right now it seems there were two guys guarding your cell. The guards weren’t STRIKE agents, but probably still had to be fairly skilled. You wanted them out though, since during one of your first hazes you heard them vaguely joking about how they should have some fun with the elusive Siren. Moving away for that thought though, you continued thinking up a plan. From the lack of windows and rumbling from up above - most likely you were also in a lower floor. How deep down though - you weren’t able to tell. So when you escaped you would have to be fairly quiet with however you choose to take the guards down...or you would most likely be cornered - Game over.

Glancing behind your back you saw that the “cuffs” that you had on you was basically a block cuff, that was so tiny and compact though that you weren’t even able to move your fingers out of a fist shape.

Bending any water from your hands, or trying to change any of the humidity in the air to a form of water for you to use...was out of question.

...the only chance you had was to do it all internally. Using only your mind to move water.

This was a skill that you had been practicing not too long ago, and something that of course Jemma had helped you figure out.

_“Alright, so from what I’ve calculated - technically you should be able to actually use all of your skills without the use of your hands or limbs essentially,” Jemma explained to you during one of her many ‘training’ and experimentation sessions you usually had with her. You narrowed your eyes and tilted your head, so she shook her head and then explained with an analogy to help instead,_

_“For example, if you were a laptop. Your hands, feet, and limbs are essentially the Ethernet internet cable that you can use to hook up directly to the internet - or in this case water. An Ethernet cable is much more faster since it is directly able to be connected to the source. However you are also capable of wifi, you could hook up to the internet even without the use of the cable. Sure the connection might be a bit harder - but it should be possible."_

After her talk though she had you doing a new training regime to your usual routine. Basically you had been doing lots of practice on your focus. Like maybe a telepathic would be staring at a spoon trying to will it to bend, you had been staring at a bowl of water trying to make that move with only your mind.

You had been pretty decent in that training - but the problem right now was that you had NO source of water. You sure as hell had not been training with JUST your mind to try to dehumidify water out of the air, and not to mention the basement you were in felt dry as hell.

Glancing around the room you tried to look for a source. There had to be an inking of something you could use.

Not only that but those guards...

...you analyzed them from head to toe...

Yep, they didn’t have an ounce of water on them...of course they wouldn’t. Hydra knew who they had locked up, of course they wouldn’t put any water near someone who could use that as a weapon.

Wait.

You glanced back on the soldiers and then slowly grinned ...

Sweat.

Fuck of course, bodily fluids.

...oh well there was always that thing that Jemma said with spit too, but your mouth was too dry. Besides you weren’t sure if you would be able to keep the hold mentally on moving ice to these guys and stabbing them. It’s better to use a source that is much closer to them, better yet ON them.

You focused on the one solider on your right of the cell, focusing on feeling the liquid and once you felt you had a hold on it - you twisted it and froze it.

The man’s neck suddenly violently snapped to the left and he fell down.

This wasn’t the first man you had killed...but it was the first man you had killed this way. But you had no time for remorse right now. It was kill or be killed. No time for being sentimental you thought quietly, feeling yourself mentally shut yourself down. Although you still didn’t understand what was happening with the whole SHIELD and HYDRA shit going down, right now you had your own life to worry about.

The solider next to him had quickly turned around and aimed his gun at you.

“If you don’t want to end up like your friend...I’d suggest you let me out...unless you want to take the chance that is...?” you said while tilting your head towards he fallen guard.

 

* * *

 

After a while, you had managed to actually escape from that prison you were in - which was underneath some bank of sorts. For some reason though there were almost no guards though, so that means whatever Pierce had been planning earlier with the alley cat was probably set in place- and yes you had nicknamed the metal arm guy. It sounded better than metal arm guy, since he didn’t look so cold to you. He looked sad lost, and honestly if it wasn’t for him you would’ve been the one mind wiped. He deserved some sort of cute nickname...hm... stray cat though maybe? Or stray kitty? Whatever.

Escaping was fairly easy so clearly they had taken a majority of the guards and STRIKE soldiers they had to another location. You were making your way back to a special safe house that was designed for SHIELD. Maybe you could contact Nat or Agent Hill...or just someone.

You had managed to also thankfully find your gloves that Jemma had designed for you, so you didn’t have to worry about any limitations on your powers. Well not only that but you gained a new skill in that whole terror. Ha ha ha...you increased your skills and can now mentally snap someone’s neck with their own sweat. Something good came out of this, right? ...though to be honest, controlling sweat seemed a bit weird. It honestly felt similar in terms of liquid but...it almost wasn’t a sensation you were used to either...

You would have to worry about the technicalities of that new technique later with a conversation with Je...

...Jemma was part of SHIELD too. Was...

How was everyone doing? You were worried about Cap, Nat, and everyone else, not to mention still shaking form what you had gone through.

As you waited for the call to connect to Agent Hill. It wasn’t her that greeted you though. It was Director Fury.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: There is CAWS Dialogue that is used here from Pierce and of course dear lovely Bucky. So that is from the movie and not me :D 
> 
> There's been a sort of big change in plans. I'm debating on adding in more to help with development/change in writing...mostly it's just adding in new characters (via MCU) but this could possssssibly change what I've written so far instead of just adding (As in Chapter 9+). And just for fun I'll say who they are - Lincoln since he has powers similar to Reader so I'm sure that would be really fun to have them converse/bond. I mean it's pretty much the same (well not) but with Electricity + he's a physician who knows how to deal with stuff. I'm leaving out the whole Inhuman war though...too crazy. Don't need to drag in Reader in on that.
> 
> The Twins as well, but they wouldn't really change up chapters since I can just add them already to what I've written. I'd LOVE to add in Will since I'm so invested in him - I hate everything. But he's still way too unknown + what I do know is that he would be a weird way to weave it in.
> 
> In exchange though this will possibly make my updates not as regular as they have been + real life is starting to really change for me this month ;;;; so just a warning! 
> 
> Since I'll be changing some things though, please let me know in the comments if there is anything in particular you would like to see in upcoming chapters besidessss the obvious one ;D


	9. Stepping Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you as always for your comments! I love hearing back from you readers so please continue to leave feedback sweeties :) 
> 
> Based on the comments in the last chapter I'm thinking that yes I want to add another chapter or two between the few I've already finished...So this does push back future chapters I've written already with like...a certain event everyone is wanting to see happen I’m sure- but I don’t want to rush tooooo much still.

After you had managed to escape from the prison way back during the SHIELD incident, Fury was the one who picked up.

Turns out that...you had mistaken the amount of time that passed during your time in the prison. You hadn’t been there for several hours after you woken up - but a few days. Fuck you didn’t even want to think about why you couldn’t remember the few days that you were at Hydra. Maybe the times the doctors would come in...they slipped something in you and that’s why you couldn’t remember? That drug could have caused time to feel like it went by much faster than it really did too. After all they planned on wiping your memory...

Cap had apparently already killed off the helicarriers that were going to destroy the world and evidently saved the world again. Well - there goes that plan of going to help him out. Fury had told you he was currently recovering right now in a hospital, and did say if you wanted to help him out with that it was your decision.

But SHIELD itself still had a lot of shit going on. Cap was a super solider, if he somehow survived getting thrown out of a helicarrier and more - and with his own accelerated healing, he’d be fine. You were too worried about other friends in SHIELD who were going through the chaos.

Anyways after Fury had filled you in quickly, you were suddenly on your way somewhere out to the ocean that had picked up on Jemma’s signal. Since she was apparently in danger with Fitz having been kidnapped by Hydra spies - just so much fucking bullshit going on you didn’t know what to think. SHIELD had been compromised with Hydra agents, and there was no fucking telling who was Hydra and who was not.

You had gone with him to save Jemma and Fitz, and succeeded...but honestly still nothing was right. Hydra and SHIELD were at war.

And before you knew it, with all that shit happening, time passed by so fast without you even noticing.

 

* * *

 

The past six months were a fucking hell cycle.

Fuck this. Fuck everything.

 

You were helping out with the new SHIELD, against the whole war with Hydra still. Sometimes your missions would be like simply checking out an old SHIELD safe house. Since a considerable amount of time had passed by most of the agents had scattered away making new lives, but now and then sometimes an agent or...maybe Hydra agent - would show up trying to scavenge data or supplies and the such.

But sometimes the missions Coulson would assign you would be much more gruesome - rescuing SHIELD agents directly in Hydra bases.

Oh yeah, yes Coulson was _alive._

Coulson was fucking alive.

He had been the fucking person in charge of the group Jemma was made a part of too. No fault on her since protocol and the such - but really? Coulson couldn’t tell you that he was fucking alive? He wasn’t even bound by protocol, he was ABLE to have tell you. Some fucking friendship you thought you guys had.

You had year to get over that shock, but it still pissed the fuck out of you.

Whatever, he had his issues though. It seemed that there was some messed up crap for his death too, you could feel it whenever you helped heal Coulson. Something was really just...different.

Oh and yes you did have some anger issues since the whole Hydra SHIELD crap. You were more bitter about things, snappy, and at times just quiet. Everything just sucked.

You had first considered just separating yourself entirely and trying to make a life away from SHIELD...but when you thought of all the innocent agents that weren’t Hydra related - still out there...your heart broke. So many friends you knew ...were dead. You even had to kill some of your old friends who turned out to be part of Hydra.

You remembered how the first few months of shit was. Friends turning on friends. Or friends pretending to be friends even after a couple months - then turns out they were really indeed Hydra. Like what the fuck. The shock, pain, betrayal, all of that - it wasn’t so fresh anymore but instead just sorrow. Honestly it was really hard for you for the first few months. Although you were trying hard to keep everything together, when you would turn in for some rest when you could - the screams of your friends...the young students from the academy...still rung in your head. And other times you would just train with your powers the heck out of your stress to get the anger out of you.

Skye told you to take a break earlier, as in a vacation. Heck even a break away from all these things SHIELD. She recommended trying to get in touch with Nat again, and maybe try picking up helping out with the Avengers. Since Skye was all crazy about how you should totally become a part of their team saying stuff about how you were a shoo-in.

“Jemma, tell her - she needs to change her job up if she’s not going to take a break,” Skye said sighing.

“What do you call what we’re doing now? It sure looks like a break to me,” you retorted back while munching on some chips, as you leaned back against the sofa.

Currently you were at the temporary new “SHIELD” base in the break rec room. Skye was sitting on another chair nearby while Jemma was working on her computer next to you. She was busy though typing away on something, probably in the zone. Skye on the other hand wasn't going to stop,

“That’s quite different, we just finished a mission kicking some Hydra butt earlier and are having our lunch break. For all we know May is going to come down and tell us how we have another lead on some more asses we have to kick.”

“How is that so bad? We’re saving our friends and saving the world? Isn’t that what you also have been saying I should be doing?” you retorted back.

“Even superman gets a break from saving Lois Lane for the 758th time AND gets a date with her,” she said sticking her tongue out at you. Rolling your eyes at her you said nothing, and kept munching away on snacks.

“I’d have to agree with Skye though,” Jemma suddenly said piping into the conversation, “Looking at your physical reports...you’re overexerting yourself too much. Not to mention your blood pressure is almost always off the charts. As both a friend and a doctor I have to say you really need to take a break...or at least take a less stressful job.”

You leaned back against the sofa, “Like what...?”

“How about helping out with medical instead, help the Agents who are still recovering from being held by Hydra,” Agent May said while strolling in just like Skye predicted, “In fact it’s been just assigned to you by Coulson.”

“Wait what-?” you sat upright in your seat. Medical meant going away from the battlefront. You wouldn’t be able to directly save anyone else, “I’m fine doing what I am, if this is about my physical condition - don’t worry I can get it under control.”

“It is an issue and you haven’t gotten it under control,” May said folding her arms. Jemma and Skye stayed silent, but you could just feel how they were already just siding with her. After all that is what they were telling you to do just now.

“We know. You want to save our friends, but there’s other ways you can help too. I mean have you considered how much help you would be for the agents who have some PTSD? Not to mention there are still some agents who have been...under a lot of torture from Hydra that could use help. Your power can help alleviate that.”

You said nothing since she already saw through everything you would’ve protesting about. Also your healing ability to help with mental issues indeed had grown a lot stronger than say the years back when you healed Steve Rogers. Although again you weren’t able to CURE and make it entirely go away, you were able to at least assure they wouldn’t be getting any bad nightmares or sleepless nights as well as other things. But...being out there on the field just sort of took everything that was on your own mind away from everything.

Frustration, anger, sorrow...

Running out on the field, working on the field - kept your mind on the mission so that it was all you could think about. And if anything that did stress you out, you would just put it all out in your attacks.

This is how you were able to deal with the shit ever since you woke up in the Hydra jail where they were about to wipe your mind.

This is how you dealt with having to find out that your whole life with SHIELD was littered with Hydra agents.

This is how you dealt with having to kill your friends who were Hydra.

You weren’t that blind, it's just you didn't want to think about it and deep down it all you did know that this was your way of coping. This was your way of not having to sit down and really think about what happened.

“Hey...” Jemma quietly said, snapping you out of your internal thoughts. She gently put her hand on your forearm and looked you straight in the eyes as if she could read everything that you were internally struggling with. Then again this was Jemma, of course she could tell.

“It’s alright to not be okay with everything.”

Skye chirped in trying to bring up your mood, “That and I mean it’s just a change of pace, if you don’t like it - we can all yell at Coulson for you.”

You felt yourself crumble a little, the fact that your friends saw through you and your vulnerability. It was batch of mixed feelings- part of embarrassment to admitting that they were right on seeing through your vulnerability and a part of frustration for having to be vulnerable. And top it off with some loving friends who cared about you even though you were being a bit unreasonable with not wanting to face your problems. Biting your lip and trying to hold back the tears you simply nodded with a soft affirmative “mmm” to their responses.

“You’ll just be working on a couple agents at a time, so no rush,” May said as she slowly walked out, “It starts tomorrow, so take your time to relax for the rest of the day.”

“Well you gals know what that means - Movie night!” Skye said getting up from her seat excitedly, “We’re having a movie night with the most trashy movies tonight - how about ‘What’s your Number?”...?”

You wrinkled your nose at that, “The one with the Captain America look-alike?”

“He’s naked a lot in it apparently,” Jemma added in with a grin. Without hesitation you got up,

“Alright I’m making the popcorn.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are loose ends I created in this chapter - but they’ll be answered in later chapters. Reader is indeed going through some PTSD~ish, I didn’t want to outright say that the Reader is going through some PTSD since I mean this is done in Reader POV but - with the whole shitstorm that happened, clearly Jemma, Skye, May, and Coulson saw this though. 
> 
> I was also a little bit up and down about this chapter...but felt there needed to be some more about Reader! I hope I'm not driving her tooooo far away from being a Reader insert ;;;;; I know she does have an alias (Siren) but I hope that you readers can still sort of feel for it! 
> 
> Also other thoughts. I realized I took out a scene of Reader and Skye’s friendship introduction from a couple chapters ago. It might be pretty irrelevant though/no matter much since it’s honestly just a few mini paragraphs, but if anyone is interested I’ll just add it in as an extra scene somewhere / re-edit and update a chapter. 
> 
> This is where we are officially riding OFF the train from MCU + Agents of Shield. Anything post Winter Solider / Ehh parts of Agents of SHIELD S2 storyline is off. Right now I’m putting Ward up in the air also for being Hydra...in case I want to use him? No current plans, but just wanted to leave that in case. Since if you’ve all noticed I don’t want to make any of my own OC’s besides the built up I’ve made for Reader/Siren.


	10. Baby-steps Forward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I honestly mull over this chapter any longer - this will either have gone in the trash or another week of me unsure with this chapter and feeling later insecure on the future ones ahahaha so here is the chapter update! 
> 
> No lies, I feel this chapter was mostly filler chapter but needed a bit more on her just having some alone/development time instead of bam bam things happening. Also I feel like it’s been forever since I wrote Steve + now writing Bucky, so I hope they’re not too OC.

Steve still couldn’t get his head sometimes wrapped around with the thought that the man besides him really was his Bucky. Alive and well. Alive and with him.

It had been almost a year since Steve had been truly reunited with his soulmate. However it hadn’t been an easy battle, Bucky had a lot of transitioning and conditioning to do with his post Winter Solider phase. He had first started off being closed off, barely speaking, looking disheveled and extremely lost. Bucky would barely even talk to anyone, let alone Steve. But the recovery time had been helpful with Bucky slowly remembering the man that he once was, putting pieces together.

Of course Bucky wasn’t always as he was right now. Bucky had moments where he reverted back to the Winter Solider, quiet, with a cold look in his eye that even chilled Steve’s heart. But he understood, after all it was 70 years of being iced - to do missions for Hydra one after the other. No amount of time would be able to make those years disappear completely from Bucky, but that didn’t mean Steve couldn’t help try to make the future years for Bucky to be bright. They had their fights or disagreements, but they were still together despite everything. Steve had someone he could call home again, to look forward to seeing after his missions.

“You know it’d last longer if you took a picture,” Bucky retorted to the intense stare that Steve had been giving him. The two of them were in the halfway point of their morning run, taking a breather to drink some water before going at it again. Bucky stood still with his shoulder length hair, currently pulled back - slight beard, but was speaking to him like the old days.

“Why bother with a picture when I can just look at you all I want?” Steve grinned, Bucky just groaned at Steve’s cheesy comment.

“70 years and you’re still gross. I hope our soulmate isn’t going to reject us and go running for the hills because of you.”

Their other soulmate.

That was the one thing Bucky had been always been talking about ever since he came back as James “Bucky” Barnes.

The one thing that really hurt Steve - was whenever Bucky mentioned their other soulmate. He honestly didn’t want to talk about their other mate, wanted to even forget that they had another person out there that was waiting or looking for them. Steve couldn’t get over the guilt over his soulmate and the betrayal that he had given them. He couldn’t confidently meet their soulmate, and not lie to them that Steve had denied their existence from even being a possibility when he woke up form the ice.

And that he had been actively pursuing another person. Siren.

Whenever Bucky mentioned their soulmate - Steve thought of course not only of the missing soulmate, but Siren. It’s not that Steve did not think about her from time to time on his own for a lot of various reasons, but when Bucky mentioned their soulmate Steve couldn’t help but think of Siren as well. Steve felt guilty to both parties and also to Bucky, it was a cowardly choice but right now he wanted to just put all his focus on the man in front of him.

Bucky broke Steve’s thoughts by patting him on the shoulder, with his metal arm, “You really don’t want to meet the dame that bad, huh?”

Steve looked up at Bucky and shrugged silently denying it. But Bucky shook his head back at him, “You think I don’t see the slight drop in your face when I mention her? At first I thought I was just seeing things, but it’s clear that it’s not just a coincidence.”

He didn’t say anything back, at a loss of words, and even if he did - Steve didn’t want to share his thoughts even with Bucky. His mate scowled lightly, “Fine, don’t say why. There’s probably something in your head that’s nagging you for some stupid ass reason as to why you shouldn’t meet her. But for me - I want her."

Bucky continued his thoughts musing aloud, "You know, she was the one thing I really wanted to meet - hell waiting for that whole time during the war. She was my good luck charm in helping me want to come back from the war just as much as she was yours.”

“Yeah I remember, though that didn’t stop you from dancing with other dames.”

His soulmate shrugged with a slight chuckle, “Well you weren’t going to dance at all with any other lady, so I sure as hell was not going to have you be the one to sweep her off her feet. Someone had to learn how to woo a woman.”

“You’ve always been so sure that it’s going to be a dame too.”

Bucky laughed, “What, I have a feeling. Don’t tell me that you’re also not biased and thinking it’s a dame too, right?”

Steve didn’t respond back, since of course Bucky was right.

“Besides I think she could help brighten you up again, punk,” Bucky grinned, folding his arms across his chest, “Especially when we finally all Seal each other.”

Steve scoffed at that, “We could Seal each other anytime. I still don’t think we need to wait anymore.”

“Hey, that was me for the longest time - and I put up with you not Sealing our Soulmate bond, since you didn’t want the other one to feel left out,” his mate said in an accusatory tone, “And you were right, it wouldn’t be right to let her feel left out when we meet her.”

Sealing was one of the ultimate steps of connecting to your Soulmate. It was an extremely intimate ritual of sorts, that was basically the acceptance of taking each other as Soulmates. Once Sealed with your Soulmate, you were able to connect to them on sort of an empathetic level - no matter where you were.

“If we Sealed years ago, I would have felt that you were still alive.”

“Or - you would have been somehow otherwise convinced that it was a delusion in your head and you still would have eventually gone in the ice. I still would have been...” Bucky waved at his metal arm, no wanting to elaborate nor needing to, “So we’re sticking to little Steve’s choice and not Sealing till we find her.”

Steve gave a half smile to Bucky, shrugging and then patting him on the shoulder, “Let’s just head back and get some breakfast.”

Bucky moaned at the thought, “God knows I could use some coffee.”

...coffee. Bucky hadn’t been sleeping much or at all, because he was afraid of the nightmares and what he would do in his sleep. But coffee...

Yep.

Steve still couldn’t get his mind off of Siren.

 

* * *

 

Of course things weren’t going to stay quiet like that morning though for Steve.

“It happened again, huh?” Natasha said while taking a peak at the window where Steve’s soulmate was currently sleeping.

Well forcibly sleeping. Steve and Bucky had been peacefully sleeping one moment, from what Steve could last remember - to suddenly waking up to a particularly strong choke hold. To make the long story short and a broken bed, not from the fun way, Steve had basically knocked Bucky out.

“Yeah,” Steve replied curtly back to the red head, “Honestly it’s been happening too frequent, even though he seems to be normal when he’s alert and awake as Bucky...”

She tilted her head not looking away from the sleeping man, “He’s trying to break away from his programming, I can understand...but I can’t understand 70 years of that. You can’t fix 70 years of programming by just normal therapy and Sam talks.”

“Well what do you suggest,” Steve asked a bit exasperated. He knew that much already, heck that is what he was thinking about earlier that day.

“You know _**who**_ I suggest.”

Of course she would bring her up. And of course Steve would have to brought up with thoughts about Siren.

“...last I asked about her, you told me she was busy.”

“Do you want me to ask her?”

Steve didn’t say anything at the direct question Natasha asked him. He was still in a dillema over Siren. Hell, even today he was thinking about how guilty he felt over his soulmate and Siren. It wasn’t really something he wanted to have to think about all at once with no time to take a break and ponder over these thoughts that Steve had. Everything was happening nonstop - things he thought was going to get better with Bucky wasn’t going to change if Steve didn’t try to branch out to another way of helping him.

And besides this was Bucky...

Steve would do anything for him. Bucky was the main issue right now and his own personal discomfort had to be pushed back. What was a little discomfort of seeing a person Steve was crushing on still to this day - if it would help Bucky?

“Yes.”

 

* * *

 

Working in the medical department, wasn’t unfamiliar. After all after the Battle of New York you had volunteered your time helping out the remaining victims and agents. Difference was though that you weren’t going through some trauma of the whole Hydra mess. Another difference was that when you moved over to this department, it was a little dingy compared to how SHIELD used to be - of course since this is post Hydra and all too. Generally speaking of course you had to grudgingly admit...it was hard at first, but things were much better. And there was sometimes where it did feel like time was just dragging, but the change of pace was nice since you had time to do some socializing. Talking to other agents who were feeling what you were going through, made you feel less alone. There was time to talk to Nat again, who was busy being an Avenger - and of course much much more time with Jemma. But the most interesting that you had to admit, was meeting another powered person.

Lincoln.

There wasn’t much you knew about him, besides the fact that he was one of the main people in charge in medical. On top of that though, he was a powered person gifted with electricity. You couldn’t deny he was quite easy on the eyes too and extremely easy to talk to. He had been one of the main people who had been helping you talk through your issues as a therapist when he had the time. Today you were doing one of the rounds with him, checking on patients, walking side by side next to him. After that it was then sit down time with Lincoln looking through the charts, and then lunch.

“You do know that you’re technically more powerful than me in a way though, right?” you leaned against a table while Lincoln was studying some charts, “On top of that you’re also a real doctor...I just cheat.”

“So you have a easier way of healing, you know you aren’t feeling guilty over that,” he said not looking at you and continuing to focus on work.

“You’re right. I think you’re just really amazing to have done all the medical school studying and such,” you mused, “You’re even helping out with me and my own messed up problems and powers.”

Jemma was usually your main person to ask for things about your powers, but Lincoln had been helping you shed some light on your powers - since apparently the way he worked electricity sounded the same as you did with power. The whole feeling the energy flow through your body and such.

“I know, and you know how you could be just as amazing? Be helpful instead of just sitting there,” he said looking up at you slightly scolding you, “When I heard you were moving here a while back, I was ecstatic to meet you and see your powers. But instead it feels like I was just given a child to babysit.”

“Don’t scold me, you know I do my fair share and more. I know you’ve already warmed up to me anyways,” you said grinning, you could tell that Lincoln was just playfully teasing you.

“You were the one who was far much colder when we first met, pouting and sulking like a child that you had to work in medical, ” he said shaking his head at you. Lincoln then motioned at you to come over to look at the charts with him, pointing at them, “ Anyways it seems that you’re getting even better in lingering your healing as well.”

Lincoln had been helping you learn how to develop your healing skills further these past months. Your healing powers were extremely hard for Jemma or anyone to really read with machines since it was a bit sporadic. However because of Lincolns powers with electricity and the such, he was able to understand a bit more how you were able to transfer your special powers to heal another person. Essentially he had been having you work on localizing your healing power. This helped minimize drainage from your own body, although of course still draining, since whenever you healed someone you actually weren’t JUST healing their wounds - but sometimes other wounds on their body or just pouring a bit of your energy into them. You still were going to knock out of course if you were going to heal a bunch of people, but you lasted longer now.

So Lincoln’s latest project was actually develop a skill called “Essence” or well that’s the cute name he made up for it. You were basically setting up a simple healing barrier into the person via your powers. Similar to how you would make an ice shield or water bubble shield - cept this was with your healing side of powers and on a person.

“Oh?” you said tilting your head to look at the charts up on the wall. There were five different charts showing a patient that you had been healing for a while. He had some serious PTSD, results from extreme torture from ex-friends turned Hydra. Although you were able to physically heal him quickly, you were helping him his stress.

“What I’m noticing is that, see here,” Lincoln pointed at the middle one, “You had actually been away from this man for 24 hours, yet I still see a glance of your healing powers here lingering.”

Tilting your head, you nodded, “So he had no bad dreams without me? I guess that makes sense since I didn’t get an emergency ping to go to him for a while...hey is that why you didn’t want to eat dinner with me?”

Lincoln laughed, “That’s what you get worked up about?”

“I know you are just a special volunteer worker or such for SHIELD - as in like you’re not a permanent worker here, so I don’t know when you’ll leave...” you trailed off a little sadly. However before you could say anything else, your phone rang loud - the particular ringtone letting you know that it was something you had to respond ASAP. Glancing at it, you groaned at the possible cock block.

While you groaned apologizing silently Lincoln laughed, “I suppose you’ll be the one giving me the rain check this time.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good lord this is really a last minute add-on chapter, so I hope it wasn’t too terrible. If it is - just see it as some gross deleted scene chapter. Edits may most likely occur in this chapter. 
> 
> This is not in any ways Agents of SHIELD lined up in truth. (Just stick to what you know most of S1, and what you know about Lincoln.) I’ve decided to just add Lincoln in as a mutant rather than inhuman for my story. I hopeeee I don’t regret this decision down the line (we’re talking extreme future) and I end up wanting to use the inhuman line, or Afterlife. But right now we’re just going to put Lincoln in as a mutant/naturally gifted like Siren. 
> 
> FINALLY yeah I’m sure you’re all like “HOW DO YOU SEAL?” I was debating on just putting that explanation here lined up in the story, since I’ve been dropping tiblets of the Soulmate universe’s history that I made up in this story now and then. I mean writing my whole history of Soulmates and the process would just be some appendix chapter on it's own so I feel it's better to gradually put it in. But I didn’t feel like it was appropriate? to talk more about Sealing... So onto another time!


	11. Alley Cat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Posting chapter early since I'm stressed out drowning in work and money worries ;;;; trying to somehow de-stress. So I hope this update brightens someone else's day :) 
> 
> I do re-illiterate Steve’s dilemma over everything so I hope it doesn’t get too confusing. I just want to really just put an emphasis on what a toll things are taking for him. ;;;; I purposely left out more of Steve’s detailed thoughts on Siren in the last chapter, since I felt that was just information overload in the last one.

“You want me to see a shrink,” Bucky said while following Steve into the kitchen.

“No! It’s more like...she’s a special type of mental healer?” Steve said while he started to make coffee for the both of them and then paused trying to think of ways to convince Bucky, “She’ll help you sleep at night?”

Bucky just wrinkled his nose, “You do realize what you just said right. The implications of what you just said.”

“No!,” Steve said flushing a bit, “And that’s not what I meant either, she’s gifted. Her powers can help out with all the stress you’re still going through.”

Bucky scoffed at him, “You know her?”

“Yeah, I’ve actually done missions with the dame so I can confirm she’s definitely the real thing. Also she was one of the agents that helped me escape from SHIELD last year,” Steve added quietly. What he kept from Bucky though in his head was adding that although Steve hadn’t seen the agent since that moment, he still thought about her from time to time.

He never had forgotten her. When they finally got Bucky back and was helping him recover - Steve had asked about her to Fury and Natasha. Which was honestly really hard of him to do with his whole dilemma with her and his missing soulmate - but Bucky needed help. That and maybe just apart of him really wanted to see her face and hear her voice. Unfortunately they reported that she was too caught up with the whole SHIELD and Hydra war, and had actually been volunteering to help with. They said they could ask on behalf of him if he wanted, but Steve then declined. He admired what she was doing, she didn’t choose to just leave SHIELD like many other agents who weren’t Hydra spies did, but wanted to help pick up the remains.

He respected her decision and understood where she was probably coming from.

That didn’t make him forget her so easily though, she still was on his mind. Honestly...he missed her also, the missions, her smile, and her laughter whenever she would grudgingly decline him on his coffee invites.

However she was as stuck in the back of his mind as much as their missing Soulmate.

Steve was constantly reminded that he had given up the possibility of their Soulmate being alive, since had woken up. But Bucky BEING alive changed everything. There was a chance that their Soulmate was out there waiting for them.

He didn’t want to give up on Siren or his Soulmate. But at the same time he didn’t want to see either. If he met Siren again Steve was sure his feelings that he was currently not thinking about, would come right back. But then where did that leave their other Soulmate? Heck what about Bucky?

And if their Soulmate was there...Steve felt that he was sure as hell his feelings wasn’t going to just go away for Siren. And of course Bucky.

He wasn’t being fair to anyone and Steve knew he was being selfish.

Bucky also was still in recovery mode. So Steve had pushed the two, Siren and his other Soulmate, to the back - focusing everything on helping Bucky recover. Sam helped a lot with Bucky’s PTSD and every day Steve saw Bucky slowly return back to the man that he once knew. He was back. Mostly.

But Bucky would still have some attacks now and then. Confusion of the situation and sometimes even try to strangle Steve, which was alright considering Steve could always help him snap back out of it. But his attacks were becoming a little more frequent lately. Natasha had then dropped to Steve reminding about him how Siren was able to help heal alleviate symptoms of PTSD. That just brought everything about Siren and the guilt over his other Soulmate all the way back. But if it was to help Bucky, Steve would bite his tongue and just face it if it has to.

Once he had decided it, Steve had given the okay for Natasha to inquire Siren if she would help. Now it was to just get Bucky’s consent. Honestly talking about the girl was easy since she really was good at what she did. Although Steve hadn’t seen her use her mental healing abilities much, he had seen her help soothe hostages who were going through panic attacks. On top of that maybe his lingering affection for the girl was also showing. So talking about her to Bucky was pretty easy, maybe a bit too easy.

“Fine...I’ll do it,” Bucky said while putting both hands up in defeat, “I’d rather not be in...another situation of hurting anyone else and especially you.”

“Great, I already asked Natasha to see if she’d be up to,” Steve grinned as he handed Bucky a fresh cup of coffee he had brewed. Bucky however was still clearly not really liking the idea and added, “She better be such a doll that you put her up to be, Stevie.”

“Don’t worry, I can count on it.”

 

* * *

 

Nat had interrupted your chat with Lincoln to ask about how she was wondering if you wanted to help heal a PTSD friend of Cap’s. In fact, it was a special request and favor from Cap himself asking for your help thus the apparent urgency in her request. If he was going to ask for your help though, you would’ve preferred him to ask you directly. But maybe you were greatful for that since you hadn’t seen or heard the guy’s voice since the last time you saw him in that parking garage and the parking garage made you think about where you woke up...

Well anyways, you would probably just get the hots all over again.

You told Nat you would think about it - but was bordering onto a definite “Yes”.

The last time you were in New York was during the Battle of New York when it was all to hell. That and it was the STARK tower. Tony Stark. Nat dropped in how much fun it was in how ridiculous he was living it up and you had to admit you wanted to see it first hand. But you didn’t want to make any decisions before telling your closest friends first. Also unsure if they were even going to let you go since they were so concerned with you in the battlefield and all still.

“What do you mean you don’t want to make a decision first without telling us?! Go for it!” Skye said while waving her hands around, “You deserve it! It’ll be like vacation if it’s just working on one guy.”

“But...do you think I should be staying here though? I mean...there’s still so much to do here...” you replied, still a bit wavering against your attachment here at...SHIELD.

“We’ll be fine here, and as a doctor I think it'd be great for you to get fresh air working outside. Besides you’d get to be up close in Tony Stark’s personal playground and lab- oh you have to let me visit you!” Jemma said overly excited probably already thinking of all the possibilities and things she wanted to do during her “visits”.

“I’m so glad you’re thinking of me, Jemma dear,” you laughed, “But I can’t deny that’s what’s the main appeal too.”

“Oh and can’t forget the other Avengers,” Skye added excitedly, “Hot Thunder Thor and Captain Hot Ass.”

“You did not just call him...I can’t deny it though,” you said suddenly seriously since who were you kidding. The two of you bursted out into laughter and you then nodded,

“Alright alright. I’ll call Nat and let her know I’m all in. But you aren’t rid of me yet, I still expect to hear from you two.”

“As do we! And also do take lots of pictures and videos if you can,” Jemma added with a grin, “Who knows maybe you’ll also run into your Soulmates since you’ll be in a new environment - rather than stuck up in here.”

Rolling your eyes, “I’m not that hung up over them anymore Jemma. I decided that fate will just do whatever with me I’ll see them whenever.”

“You do know I could always just take the writing and see if it crosses in the databases...if you’d only say the word I’d do it for you,” she said while grabbing for her tablet.

“No! That’s cheating Jemma, you know I don’t want that.. I’ll just be waiting till I see whoever it is you match them up to be, talk about anxiety.”

She put her tablet down, obviously knowing that you would say that. Walking over to you, she then gave you a big hug, “You’ll have a fun new adventure. So be safe.”

Hugging her back you nodded.

“And take lots of scandalous photos of the Avengers if you get the chance!” Skye added while joining the two of you in the group hug as you all bursted into laughter.

 

* * *

 

Stark Towers or well the Avengers Tower was really just like walking into a whole entire world. You had to go through a body scan, get yourself registered into the whole JARVIS system- which really took like seconds, and they even handed you card keys to your own personal apartment??? It was one of the guest apartments though, since you weren’t sure how long your stay with them would be though. After she gave you the quick tour of your apartment, Nat then handed you the files for your patient. You were both headed to another floor, particularly where you would be holding your sessions with the patient.

The space was roomy - elegant yet at the same time simple. Honestly it looked like a fancy resort version of where you would have a session with a shrink though. Emphasis on the fancy resort part though. The two of you sat there while you waited for the patient in question to arrive.

As you looked over the file Natasha had sent over to you, you read over the special patient that they wanted your help in. As you looked at the name, “James Buchanan Barnes” ...fuck no wonder his name rang a bell - he was one of the Howling Commandos and Cap’s best friend. Bucky Barnes. Though referring him as Bucky seemed to roll off in your head a bit weirdly...so you decided to stick to calling him James. Apparently soon after the whole helicarrier incident they had found the Winter Solider and had been helping James recover.

Flipping over the page to see his photos that were included. You realized this was the guy who was in the Hydra prison way back when you were in there! In fact he was the one who was on the machine, the sad alley cat. Metal arm and all and...whoa...what was his story.

Part of you always felt thankful yet also regretful, since if it wasn’t for him...getting wiped in that scary machine it would have been you sitting there instead. After you had escaped, you had looked to see if he was anywhere but found no trace. You always wanted to somehow thank him if you got the chance or at least heal him or something. So suddenly your job that you were a bit earlier just casually taking and doing - meant so much more.

But wow, he was a walking legend too like Cap. A Howling Commando. Hot as hell...

God why are these men so hot? Are there any more hidden under ice that she should look for? Okay yes that is such a bad joke. But no, really.

From the reports that Banner had written down, it seemed that the solider had significantly improved over the past year. Memories were mostly back, physically he was in good shape, but mentally... He seemed to have violent episodes particularly when he slept now and then. Probably PTSD as he written down, as you read down the symptoms.

Well... I suppose regular sessions with him should help.

“Does he ...really need my help though? I’m surprised he seems pretty...back to normal...besides the episodes now and then it seems,” you asked Natasha curiously.

“Well...he is pretty stable, but Steve’s been really concerned regardless. That and besides, it’s a nice excuse anyways to have you stay in Tony’s fancy tower - right? He has so much money might as well take advantage of it...think of all the drinks we can now have.”

You laughed at her comment - because you totally did agree with her too. Suddenly the doors opened and a man walked in, so you and Natasha stood up to meet him halfway.

The Winter Solider looked similar - but at the same time much different than when you last saw him. First off - he was wearing clothes, not half naked this time. Pity since you wouldn’t have minded getting a real good look at it since the last time you were freaking out being in Hydra’s clutches. James also still had a bit of a shaggy haircut on him, as well as a slight stubble, but his eyes were as blue and piercing as ever.

“Here she is, she’ll be the specialist helping you,” Natasha said to the guy in front of you. The cat didn’t take his eyes off from you though. Also he seemed a little bit hesitant or shy to say anything so you wondered if it was because he remembered you. A few too many silent awkward pauses though, you decided to speak first. So putting your hand out for him to shake, you gave him a reassuring smile,

“I’ve always hoped I would see you again, alley cat.”

Oh god did you just slip out your internal nickname for the guy.

The man in front of you though froze and his eyes widened.

He grabbed for your hand with his flesh hand, and pulled you flush up close against his chest. (Oh god, are his abs also made out of metal too?) Normally you would have been a bit more defensive with your agent instincts and all, but your mind and body was telling you that you were safe and in no danger. Looking up, you saw the cat giving you the biggest shit eating grin ever - it was like he suddenly changed to another person,

_“No wonder I couldn’t stop thinking of you, doll.”_

 

* * *

 

The dame that Steve had been talking about to him - or well practically drooling over about - was indeed as he said. She was absolutely stunning and gorgeous. From the gentle sway of her hips as she walked by, to her lovely eyes. What shocked him the most though, was that this young lady was the one Bucky had actually saw back in the Hydra prison...before the last wipe that they made him go through. The doll had been on his mind ever since, and he remembered how he felt when he first saw her come in behind Pierce.

He wanted to protect her.

When he heard that the gal was going to be wiped, Bucky had pushed Pierce intentionally so that he would wipe him instead of her. That and he was pretty sure that it would have been her first mind wipe when he saw her state of panic and confusion. Pretty interesting that it was this same dame that Steve was raving about. Seemed like both of them had a bit of a fixation on her. Bucky was a little unsure at how to act towards her, since if she did remember him from the Hydra prison- would she be afraid?

But then she opened her mouth... Saying the words that lined Bucky’s right hipbone...

_“I’ve always hoped I would see you again, alley cat.”_

Everything made sense. She was the one.

She was the one that Bucky had been waiting for forever.

The one that both him and Steve had been waiting forever.

Without hesitation and wanting to be as close as he could to her now, Bucky pulled the gal’s open hand towards his body so that she was flushed up against him. While she looked at him with wide eyes full of confusion, Bucky grinned and said the first words he could think of,

“No wonder I couldn’t stop thinking of you, doll.”

And slowly watched as her confused expression turned into shock and then suddenly her face was flushed. Judging for her reaction, clearly the doll had those words on her body that Bucky had just said to her and she knew it.

Natasha on the other hand obviously but the two and two together, “You two are soulmates.” She had the most dumbfounded look on her face probably judging from her voice, but Bucky only had eyes for the dame in front of him right now. He had been waiting to find her forever, and everything made sense to him now that he knew that doll he couldn’t help but remember back from his last wipe was still in his mind. There was an awkward silence as if they were just trying to absorb what was happening right now. She was the first to break the silence again though.

“Are you for real?” she said softly while not taking her eyes off of him, “Do you really have those words?”

Bucky could feel the amount of happiness just rolling off the gal and could definitely relate to it, he couldn’t stop grinning, “Believe me, you’re the only one who has ever called me alley cat. Well besides my family joking about it or Steve.”

He wanted to talk more with her and tell her about everything. And Steve! God, he wanted to just scream to Steve how he found their soulmate first. Successfully winning their longtime bet. And of course just the mere fucking fact of finding their Soulmate.

...

Wait.

Didn’t Steve and the gal already meet each other?

“Steve?” the doll’s face was as white as a sheet suddenly. The earlier flush and happiness that was all over her face was drained and she removed her hands that were on his chest to her sides. Bucky didn’t let her move that far back away from her though, hesitantly ghosting his right hand over her waist. A gut feeling was telling him that if he didn’t, she would run away.

Bucky’s happy expression then turned to one in slight confusion, “Yeah...Steve. My other soulmate. Our soulmate...”

The doll nodded shakily and said in a bit of a higher pitched tone, “O-Oh. I see.”

Bucky could feel her cracking, he had seen this back during the war when there were many times soldiers would suddenly snap. And Bucky was afraid since he didn’t know what to do since this was his soulmate - a soulmate he had just met and didn’t know too much about. How would he-

Before he could think of anything else the doll in front of him then suddenly crumpled against him, which Bucky quickly caught and pulled up. Concerned about the doll, but at the same time...sort of getting an idea of as to why she reacted the way she did. Or at least Bucky sure did think he knew why.

Steve and the girl had already met.

Yet didn’t know they were soulmates for some reason and weren’t together. That’s probably what the doll realized and it caused her to pass out cold. Why didn’t Steve know that she said his words already or her?

What the fuck was going on?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES LOL THIS IS WHERE THE STORY WAS HEADED. I know a few of you figured this out with theories, and yep you were indeed right it’s going that way. Hope it wasn’t too much of a disappointment. 
> 
> I hope the meeting wasn’t tooo abrupt. I had actually a big scene of getting into the Avengers Tower (not involving Steve or Bucky) but rather introducing other Avengers - but it seemed a bit too draggy to have that then later HI BUCKY. So I decided to cut to the chase and leave those out. 
> 
> I’m afraid I didn’t put enough angst in this chapter ;;; it felt pretty light or too fast paced, so any feedback is really greatly appreciated <3


	12. Role Reversal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh gosh thank you so so so so much for the wonderful response on the last chapter - ;w;!! You all are all such sweet people. Thank you for all the kudos, comments, subs, bookmarks, and hits! 
> 
> Apologies in this chapter taking so long. I literally changed what I had from my outline mostly around (in terms of like feelings) and had so many different alternate ways to how reactions to how character’s were going to take things. That and suddenly the Civil War trailer fucked me over just because it is and because it also is making me want to change everything.
> 
> That and I got to see and meet almost all of the entire Arrow Cast + Flashie Cast + Dum Dum Dugan!! (I gave up on trying to see OUAT since I had to put my focus more on them ;;;) while then later I binged Jessica Jones...uh...

Bucky had his flesh arm and hand gently cradling the back of the dame’s head close to his chest, while the other arm was gently holding her legs up - holding her in probably the most precious princess hold. He couldn’t deny that he loved it, having her so close to him. However even if she was his Soulmate, it still felt like Bucky was being a creep to the dame. Natalia’s stare didn’t help either as she helped guide Bucky to the dame’s room. Actually Natalia didn’t say much besides instructing how it would be best if they brought her to her room to rest. Jarvis had chimed in saying how she was correct when Bucky hesitated, so here they were on their way to her room.

“Any reason why you aren’t saying anything much?” Bucky dryly said, Natalia seemed close to the dame in his arms - and he wanted to know as much about her as he could.

“Not really since there isn’t much for me to say,” she curtly said, “I mean, she found one Soulmate - win...I guess. _But_ also found out the other one is the symbol of America that she worked with and knew for years...”

“Fair.” Bucky responded dryly since he knew as much, but hearing it from someone else just confirmed things with him. He gently laid her down over her bed and grabbed a blanket throw to put over her. Natalia watched from the door but Bucky could feel the silent intimidating aura she was exuding out.

“Though she’s a hell of a lot stronger than she looks too, I don’t really like...the idea of having to leave you alone with her, since it looks like you sure have no plan to leave,” Natalia said watching Bucky grab a chair and move it towards the bedside. He looked back at her not saying anything, but he understood what she meant.

“Jarvis. Feel free to tranq me with all you got if something happen,” Bucky said curtly.

Whenever Bucky had his episodes, Steve refused to have Jarvis to simply put Bucky out with a tranquilizer. He hated having Bucky under some type of drug induced unconsciousness, probably since Steve felt like it was a trigger for Bucky. Which was sort of funny since that in another twisted way to view it, was that could mean Steve preferred making him unconscious with his own two hands. Of course not what Steve means, and it’s not like Bucky can joke about that to him though since it is sort of a sensitive topic.

“Understood,” Jarvis chimed in.

“Still doesn’t give me that much peace of mind, Barnes. I don’t even know if it’s a wise choice to let her wake up to you by her side either...but it might not be right to make the two of you part either right now...” she looked over her friend softly and then turned to walk out, leaving Bucky alone with his Soulmate.

Now alone to his thoughts, he had the time to sort of sort out in his mind what was happening.

The main issue that bothered him was that Bucky sure did not know what the fuck was going on with her and Steve. They knew each other and didn’t react to each other’s words or know that they were Soulmates, for god knows why. However how was their relationship before? Steve seemed fond of the girl, which was mostly why Bucky had easily agreed to seeing the girl for help. Bucky had been curious to see who this dame was that Steve wouldn’t shut up singing praise about. Well turns out the dame was their Soulmate.

The next issue was the lack of what he knew of her. Of course the two had just met and realized they were both Soulmates. That whole deal wasn’t a surprise since that’s typical in meeting your Soulmate, you don’t know what type of person they are. But because of what was happening and how she was unconscious, Bucky hated that he knew nothing about her. How does she take or handle things? Bucky on a normal basis would just get to know her, but this was serious shit that was happening right now. She did seem to respond positively to him at first when she clicked the Soulmate idea, however one mention of Steve got her out. Bucky just afraid that if he made one wrong move, he would send the doll runnin’.

The other issue was Steve. But honestly Bucky didn’t want to think about him right now since that would bring too much stress for Bucky to handle. He’ll have a talk with Steve the moment he came back.

He sat down in the chair and scooted himself closer to the bedside watching the girl. She looked distressed even in her sleep, eyebrows furrowed and breathing at times uneven. Bucky reached out for her hand and held it in his own.

The one clear thing he did have though was that he just wanted to make her feel better somehow.

 

* * *

 

When you woke up, the first thing you noticed, was the warm hand gently holding onto yours and the smell of something sweet. Everything felt woozy, and you didn’t want to open your eyes so you laid there sort of conscious yet in a daze. Sort of like that feeling when you know you got to wake up and get out of bed to do daily things, but don’t want to.

Ah, except your thing had to do with Soulmates.

As you opened your eyes you turned to see James sitting besides you in and what seemed to be the room that you were going to be staying at. He was gazing at you, and he hesitantly smiled at you.

“Hey take it easy doll, if you wanna rest more - I don’t mind,” James asked while rubbing your hand with his. His simple guess made everything inside you feel fuzzy and warm and just so happy. You were so happy that you had your Soulmate, but the other half of you...wanted to drink your pain away or just have something to numb the anxiety that was running in you.

Glancing to the side of him to the table bed side, you noticed different mugs and glasses.

“I- uh...didn’t know what you would like, so I made some things...hot chocolate, coffee...black or with cream, some tea...or well even water...” James said sheepishly probably having seen your reaction and hesitation, “Sorry, am I being a bit too much?”

You shook your head, since you felt that he was worrying too much, “No, it’s fine I sort of like this doting.”

He handed you the drink you wanted with his free hand, not letting to of your hand with the other. “I wasn’t sure whether I should haul you down to medical, but Jarvis said some simple rest should help. Natalia showed me where your room was.”

Your mind was feeling a bit clearer after having rested (although it was from fainting) and the drink that he prepared you made you feel more relaxed. Honestly on top of it all, just the presence of him made you feel a bit warm and fuzzy inside. Is this how being with your Soulmate felt like? Or was it the fact that he was just an attractive man and doting worried about you? Combination of both? But he was also clearly unsure how to react to you - worried. You could feel it by holding his hand, how he was genuinely worried and also anxious.

“You’re sweet,” you said as just a pure fact.

His serious unsure face faded and James then smiled at you. “You better not take that back when we get to know each other better,” James said in a slightly flirty tone.

The two of you were both smiling shyly to each other. You were both really glad to clearly have met each other, but right now you personally sort of couldn’t just leave it just to that. After all lingering there was the star spangled elephant in the room.

You found your soulmate, James the Winter Solider. But it was fucked up since James’ other Soulmate is Captain America. Which means that the man that you had known for a considerable amount of years, was your Soulmate this whole fucking time. That time where you heard him say your words was real, not just a fucking coincidence.

You were dying to hear more and also not - but you wouldn’t be able to run away from this issue. It would catch up to you sooner than later so you decided to try and woman up. Take control of the situation and figure out this shit storm of a mess to assess the situation better.

“So Captain is your Soulmate.”

The way you said it was like a mouse squeaking and also way too fast that the words probably blended into “SoCaptainisyourSoulmate”. Yeah that totally sounded much cooler in your head, you mentally sarcastically thought to yourself. It didn’t seem to bother James though, and instead he seemed a bit surprised that you went ahead confronting the situation.

“Yeah...that he is, but he’s just as much as my Soulmate as you are mine,” Bucky hesitated but then continued while slowly rubbing circles over your hand, “I don’t know what’s the whole situation going on between you two, so I can’t deny I’m curious.”

“But I also don’t want to rush you,” he paused for a moment and then shook his head to look at you with his intense blue eyes, “So how about instead if there’s anything you want to know, I can answer it?”

“I don’t really know actually if I want answers to the questions I have,” you admitted. He was so sweet, you hated it - you wanted to enjoy his company but you wanted to figure out the whole thing with Rogers. But you were also scared. Did Cap ignore that you were his Soulmate? Was he actually denying you? Is that what he had been doing since day 1? But then that doesn’t add up with his constant request for a coffee date.

You needed more time to think things over, but at the same time didn’t want to waste any more time. Nor could afford much time to anyways with the man holding your hand right now anyways.

“Well...does he have a pair of Soulmate words...besides yours?”

James nodded, “That he does, handwriting has been verified to belong to same owner. So we are all yours... _I’m_ all yours.”

“And of course I would love it back if it meant you were mine.” Bucky added with a grin, trying to lighten the mood and reassure you. “But we can take all the time that you need, okay doll?”

Those sweet endearing words are the words you’ve always wanted to hear from your Soulmate. Had been waiting to hear. But now it turns out that the other Soulmate of yours was someone you knew the whole time? It made you feel so useless and stupid.

You did want to rant to him since he was another part of your soul - like the bond made you want to share everything - but since you just met, you also didn’t want to just throw up everything onto him. Maybe you could talk to him more openly another time, but right now you were biting your tongue to prevent any slip ups.

James then added to you, “Let me say this doll, but your words on him are something that really shaped Steve up. He wouldn’t have let you go...so whatever happened, we’ll sort things out.”

You were quiet. He was trying to comfort you about Rogers, and being an utter sweetheart about it.

“ I...just want you to know we’ve been waiting to meet you forever,” he looked away as if slightly embarrassed, “...I had lots of plans too. So I don’t plan on letting you go anytime soon.”

“Me too,” you said with no hesitation while squeezing his hand, you were touched by his sweet words. You understood the thoughts of making up imaginary plans with your future Soulmates. Sure Rogers was in an entirely different wonderland in terms of Soulmate - but James was on a different level. You both got to start off on the foot of knowing what you both were to each other. like how it was meant to be between Soulmates. James grinned at your response and gently squeezed your hand,

“How about we try this again? I’m James Buchanan Barnes, or if you want to call me Bucky that’s also fine too.”

After you introduced yourself back to him, you shook your head, “It...doesn’t really sound right if I call you that...is it alright if I call you Buchanan instead actually?”

As you shyly asked that you watched as James just looked at you with the most confused look and hesitantly said, “Er...I mean...if you...want to...”

His voice and face just had the look of both dread, but he obviously didn’t want to be rude to you. It was absolutely adorable and you had fun teasing him, so laughing you shook your head, “I’m joking, James.”

His face snapped out of the silly conflicted face that he was making earlier to see you grinning widely at him. Letting out a sigh, “That’s how you play it, doll?”

“I had to test to see what type you were.”

“And what type am I?”

Just as you were going to respond back to him, Jarvis then interrupted the little short moment you two were having.

“Sergeant Barnes I am here to notify you as requested earlier, that Captain Rogers has just arrived back from his mission. He has already just inquired about your current whereabouts - what shall I tell him?”

The air between you two became thick again. No rest or break from the issue with Captain. James paused, thinking of what to say probably,

“Let him know I’m just busy at the moment - I’ll be back at our place soon.”

“Understood,” Jarvis responded curtly. You then started to move your hand away from James, but he held your hand back refusing to let go.

“Captain’s waiting for you, right?” you responded, not a bit upset that he was leaving. Just upset that you were reminded about Captain again and that problem. James pursed his lips, you could feel the tension and uncertainty through the current touch you had on him.

“How are you...going to tell him?” you asked curiously.

“To be honest I’m not sure how,” he said, “I’ll figure it out. Steve will be curious to know how meeting you went for sure.”

That reminded you of how Captain had been so adamant with his coffee dates with you. You were torn between bitter laughing or banging your head against a wall into you became one with it. Part of you thought about asking James if he could maybe withhold from telling Captain about the deal - but shot that down. Why should you have to prolong this stupid issue between you and Captain even longer? Sure it was still hard to even see him as your Soulmate, but nevertheless it wasn’t something you could run away form.

"Don’t let him wait any longer.”

“We’ll see each other next time, right?”

The way he asked made you feel that he wasn't sure he would see you again.

“Well of course,” you shrugged, “After all you are the one that’s supposed to be lying down instead of me.”

As if he was reassured James slowly got up, reluctantly walking away from your side. Turning around once more to look at you once he reached the door out of your room - you smiled softly to him. Hesitantly James nodded back again shyly, and then closed the door behind him.

Now, you were all alone with your thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was one of the toughest chapters (if my lack of update shows any clue ;;;) - Hopefully Bucky and Reader wasn’t too awkward or Bucky too talkative. I wanted to give them this hesitant glow of the whole “YAY SOULMATE” - deal. Yet also no yay since - Steve.
> 
> FINAL NOTE. 
> 
> THAT CIVIL WAR TRAILER. 
> 
> WOW DO I WISH I COULD CHANGE THIS ENTIRE STORY AND MAKE IT NOW ULTRON AND CIVIL WAR COMPLIANT. I only made it non Ultron compliant since I don’t know Bucky’s situation (until Antman) - so maybe I’ll have an alternate story one day. I mean from that scene alone confirming Bucky knew his memories (unsure if it’s a spotty memory or complete though) - changes a lottttt of things. And I tried to make Siren as MCU canon compliant as I could - which is why I’m like legit 100% thinking of doing an alternate route in the future. But of course only if like I'm still invested in writing this next May. 
> 
> Also feel free to follow me on [tumblr](http://unrequitedstar.tumblr.com/). I mostly post Chris Evans/Sebastian Stan/Steve/Bucky things with me occasionally throwing rant posts on fic/life things. :)


	13. Party of Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah lots of angst still. Upside everyone knows! Chapter was supposed to be a bit shorter actually but decided to keep it all in as a bonus for the lovely support everyone has been giving. 
> 
> Yay! It’s my birthday today so I thought I would celebrate and post as soon as I could. :)

What were the first words you said to him?

Was it normal to not remember your Soulmate words???

The first real words you said to Cap was back when you were healing him. But wasn’t he was unconscious...? Well turns out he was conscious enough since those were probably the fucking words he had. It had been literally years, since you said those words to Captain - heck it had been like just a week or something since he had woken up from the ice.

You remembered saying something to him, it was something that just came out since he was distressed while you were trying to heal him. Nothing special since you said those types of things to most of the people you would heal, to help soothe them...but to think that for Captain, he was conscious enough for it to be his Soulmate words.

But if he was conscious enough though, why didn’t he try to find you?

Oh fuck you know better than anyone why. He probably dismissed it as some delusion of his mind or some sorts probably, he did after all just wake up. Can’t blame him much since he just woke up into a new world for sleeping for so long.

But you?

You weren’t stupid. But at the same time also really just fucking stupid.

You were at fucking fault for not listening to the old wise saying. Don’t assume because it makes an “ass” out of “u” and “me”. In this case you and Cap.

You freaking convinced yourself that it was impossible for Captain to be your Soulmate - ruled him out and pushed that thought aside.

You sure fucking did make an ass out of both Rogers and yourself. If you ASKED him or took the time to accept his rounds of coffee, maybe you would’ve somehow got to that point and figure out - HEY you guys are both Soulmates?

Or heck you should’ve asked him in the beginning, sure you were worried as fuck as being an embarrassment and making a fool of yourself since you didn’t even know Captain - but who the hell was looking like a fool right now? Coworkers for years and this whole time he was your real Soulmate.

You turned him down since you felt fucking guilty to your Soulmates? Yes you thought you were going to develop a bad attachment to him, beyond your previous paramours. So you shot that down entirely for Captain. Well no wonder you had this fixation on Cap, it was because you two WERE Soulmates. Guilt? God there should have been any guilt since it was fucking universal powers that was binding you to him. (And of course James too, but you and James were cool at the moment.)

That and finally you did know that dwelling on the past - of what could’ve been - was also pointless. You couldn’t change what had been done.

You had to own up to it.

Fucking still doesn’t mean of course you can’t bang your own head against the wall screaming in frustration. But rationally speaking - you can’t just go beat up your past mistakes. And a tiny bit of selfishness inside you was upset at Captain too - but wanted to simmer that down since you had to hear his side of the story. (For now.)

But for his side of the story...The only way you would find that out is if you TALKED to him. When was that going to be?

You rolled over to your side groaning into your pillow, there was too much things to think about. Getting up and stretching, maybe you should try to get something to eat or explore and get used to your new apartment you’ll be staying at instead. Some hot drinks or -

A gentle musical tone suddenly rang through the room, and Jarvis’ voice clearly announced,

“Miss Romanoff is requesting permission to come inside, what are your orders?”

Yeah this whole cyber house butler that was literally everywhere was one place you could start at for getting used to.

 

* * *

 

Pacing back and forth in the jet, Steve couldn’t get his mind off Bucky and Siren. How were things going? Did they hit it off? Was she helping Bucky? Did she like Bucky? Did Bucky like her?

He was on mother hen mode to the extreme and it was taking all he had to not pick up the phone to call on Bucky or someone who was in the tower to tell him how they were doing. Steve would have added calling Siren, but he didn’t have her number...

Before Steve had planned on actually being with Bucky when they were going to do their first session. However he had been suddenly called out for a mission a few days prior from when Siren was coming to the tower...so Steve had to leave Bucky reluctantly.

By the time the quinjet arrived into the tower - Steve asked Jarvis where Bucky was at the moment so he could meet with him right away. After a bit, Jarvis alerted Steve that he was going to be on his way back to their apartment. Sighing a bit of relief, Steve thanked Jarvis and headed out to change before he got back to their apartment.

 

* * *

 

When Steve opened the door and walked in though, he didn’t see a sign of Bucky at first. Steve walked in more to the notice that Bucky was lounging against the sofa, with his legs spread out on the cushions. His head was laid back leaning against the cushion, with his eyes shut closed- Steve couldn’t tell if he was awake or not. However one thing that he was certain about was the air.The air around Bucky seemed...tense. Steve wasn’t sure what to say, but Bucky beat him to it,

“I met her.”

Steve blinked a bit confused, “Yeah, how did it-”

Bucky was staring at Steve - his gaze was both hard and icy. But Buck’s clear words chilled Steve even more so.

“Our Soulmate.”

“ _What?_ ” Steve couldn’t process what Buck was saying to him, he swallowed finding that his mouth and throat were dry. “...are you sure...?”

Bucky scoffed at him, giving him an frustrated look, “I’ve been waiting to hear those words forever, of course I’m sure.”

Of course, Steve thought nervously. Bucky wouldn’t mistake hearing his. But...for himself. Was it really happening? Their Soulmate. Steve felt the wave of guilt washing over him. The betrayal that he did to her. And even knowing that she was really existing, Steve felt himself still thinking of Siren. Still felt his feelings for her there and he felt concerned about where this placed her in everything now. But where did that leave his other Soulmate? What about Bucky? Just waves of guilt coming back over and over Steve.

“You really don’t want to meet her,” Buck firmly said as a statement, swinging his legs over the couch to sit more properly and straight on the couch. Steve pursed his lips and looked away, not wanting to show the guilt that was written all over his face probably right now to Bucky.

“You could have told me that you met her first this whole time, Steve.”

“What?” Steve’s head snapped back up to stare at Bucky, who was watching his reactions carefully. He hesitantly asked, “What do you mean by that?”

Steve felt a painful sting start to crawl up his back, and gripe at his heart.

“ _Siren, our **Soulmate.**_ ”

 

* * *

 

Bucky had gotten up from his seat to help Steve sit down onto the couch with him. Steve wasn’t saying anything, his body was all tensed up, and his hands balled into hard fists by his sides.

“You really didn’t know she was our Soulmate...did you?” Bucky heard himself ask, not beating around for Steve to recover. Whenever it came to just the general idea of their other Soulmate - Bucky knew how Steve reacted. He would be quiet. Not saying anything or casually agree or something - so that they could talk about something else. Honestly a part of him always wanted to peg him on more about why Steve acted that way, but wanted to give him some of his own space too.

However the first time Steve mentioned Siren, their girl, Steve wouldn’t shut up. He was so bent on convincing Bucky to take her healing sessions or such - that it was clear Steve had a fondness for the girl.

Now that the two were connected though - he wasn’t sure which way Steve would react. And honestly, since the two did know each other Bucky felt a bit annoyed. Annoyed at the fact that they didn’t know each other were Soulmates. But... jealous that they did know each other, for simply already knowing each other. He didn’t like the fact that Steve had known her while Bucky didn’t know a lick of her.

Bucky wanted to sort things out with Steve.

He wasn’t able to ask more from the doll, since she took the news hard - and Bucky didn’t want to push her any further or scare her away anyways. But he feel like he had gotten an unspoken confirmation that she had Steve’s words. After all she didn’t deny having heard her words from Steve - she did take the whole Steve being her Soulmate hard, but she didn’t push it away. Of course he could further confirm it a hundred percent later with her hopefully, but there was evidence. James had already heard her words from him and so did she from him just earlier that day. The other case of evidence was that Steve and James had been Soulmates from way back. So honestly just by easy deduction - it was clear that the three of them were Soulmates.

Steve wasn’t going to get that nice treatment that he had given to his doll earlier. Besides, Bucky let Steve get away with not talking about just the general talk of their Soulmate all the time. This time, he wasn’t going to let him off that easy. No matter how hard Steve was taking it.

“She really called you...an alley cat?” Steve murmured quietly besides him. He had his forearms resting against his knees, staring hard on the carpet floor.

“She did,” he confirmed, “How about you? Are you so sure that you really haven’t heard your words said to already?”

 

* * *

 

He still couldn’t bring himself to look at Bucky, to see what face or expression that his Soulmate had on. Steve thought to the last time he thought he heard his Soulmate words. He did hear them in his dreams now and then recently, but the voice was never as clear as that time...

“When I woke up the second time...was the clearest I’ve heard it from a dream...I thought I heard those words but Fury-” Steve stopped there.

After all that happened last year. Steve knew better and what was going on, Fury had lied to him about there not being someone else with him when he woke up. ...He’ll have to deal with Fury later.

Those words he heard weren’t a dream, but probably what she did actually say since she was there. It would make sense, since he was in the hospital when he woke up - and her power...I mean why else did Steve even call on her help? To heal Buck.

The draw he had towards the girl this whole time.

The words he thought was a dream.

They were both connected to one person.

There was never need for him to feel guilt towards either party...but wait didn’t that mean Steve said her words to her words as well? She never said anything. The first time Steve remembered really meeting her was when he ran into her - but maybe he said something in his state back at the hospital when he woke up.

“My words on her, did she say what they were...?”

“Couldn’t ask, she was too shocked.”

Steve snapped up to look at Bucky, concerned, “How is she?”

Buck responded simply, “She didn’t take it well.”

He watched as his partner had the grimmest look on his face, even if he didn’t say those words of how she was feeling - Steve could tell just by reading his face. It made him feel like his heart was being pulled apart - not to breaking point, but instead stretched out to the limit while slowly being stabbed at.

Even if Fury shot down Steve when he woke up about his Soulmate - he never bothered to pursue it. Sure he did consider it for a bit, but got caught up with the whole “waking up” process to the brand new world. Before he knew it, he just considered it to be a delusional dream like he and Buck would have back during the war before the ice.

Because of his own ignorance, she was in pain.

God, and he had been asking her out for dates relentlessly - what did that also make her feel like? Just thinking about it himself made him feel like an idiot. Steve himself had been trying to juggle the thoughts of both Soulmate and her - and it disgustingly left him a tinge of him sighing with relief. The headache he had been worried about those two - to find out they’re both the same person? Relief. He was mostly still really shocked, but the fact that he could feel in the back of his head that he was actually **relieved** ...disgusted him. Ashamed him.

The guilt he had over the “two” people was now all condensed into one though - to Siren.

He felt guilty that he was feeling relieved. But that relief was short-lived for he still ultimately felt guilty. Guilty that he hadn’t noticed. And afraid.

Afraid that she won’t want him.

And ultimately afraid that she’ll end up rejecting him as a Soulmate.

 

* * *

 

“You seem to be taking it much better than I thought you would, your appetite is even bigger than I remembered,” Nat asked watching you eat away. When she came by she had brought hoards of your favorite food and snacks so you could have a nice chill eat in dinner, without having to make anything yourself. And the two of you were now comfortably eating around the couch, with the television on for some background noise.

“What can I say? Finding out that Captain America is my Soulmate takes a lot of me,” you said realizing that yep - too hard and too soon for you to mention Captain America out of your mouth. Thank god you were a little buzzed though, that’s probably why.

“You’re ready to talk about it?” she had a surprised tone to her voice, “You can leave it for another time if you want.”

You let out a huff of frustration, “Not really...I mean I guess I got to talk to James a bit...but me and Captain have known each other for so long, should I really put it off any more?”

“Oh there’s many things I can start on for one if you’re really ready to spill,” Nat said in a slightly accusatory tone - then relaxed, “I won’t pin you down though right now.”

“...well I have been already beating myself over it,” you looked away, “Yes, he did say my Soulmate words. I dismissed it though since first off he had no reaction- and I thought it was just a coincidence. Oh god, I can feel your judgment so hard can you try to tone it down just a bit please?”

“Good, and I’ll only try since you’re going through a lot now - but just wait till things simmer down with you,” she poured more alcohol into your glass and then hers, “Besides hurting my feelings in not even bothering to consult me, how about you finally tell me what his words were then? I already heard Barnes’ anyways.”

" _’I got you, can’t have a lil dame like you falling_ ," you recited the words you had on your skin and knew by heart. As you sighed those words out though, the flash of how you remembered how you heard Cap say those words to you went through your mind. But as well as the pain of disappointment when he didn’t react to the words you said, but now you knew it was because they weren’t the first words you said to him.

“You do realize that Steve’s ‘dame’ and Barnes’ ‘doll” is like not just one dead giveaway but two, right?”

You tossed a nearby pillow at her, which she caught and then put aside - rolling her eyes at you.

“Yes, but it still could’ve been anyone else! I mean well...god. James I didn’t know about being even a possibility until I arrived today, okay?”

Taking a long gulp on your drink, you mused aloud to her, “I’m guessing my first words to him was when I was healing him. So I guess it’s no wonder he had no reaction to me calling him gorgeous.”

“Healing him?” she tilted her head confused, you shrugged and told her the story of how Coulson had taken you to heal Captain. Although you didn’t get to personally talk or meet him while he was awake - you mentioned to her how you did say some things to him. Apparently he was indeed conscious enough for those to be his words probably, whatever it is you said- again it was too long and it’s not like you KNEW what you were saying was Soulmate words.

“...okay well that sucks,” she said matter of factually, “But...”

She seemed to be thinking about something deeply, not saying much and you groaned at her, “This is supposed to be a party to make myself feel better right?”

“Party of two?”

“It’s still a party with the two of us, okay?” she smiled at your silly response, and you were thankful that Nat was here with you. If only Jemma or Skye were there with you as well...and those two had no clue what was happening with you. You wanted to tell them as well, but you were drained and exhausted mentally - to the point where it drained you physically as well. If you were told that you could take the next week off - you were damned sure it would be spent locked up in the apartment, watching Netflix and ordering on Eat24 everyday. Of course reality would not let you have time to “take a break” nor did you really feel you should anyways. Frustrated you let out the rant that was building up in you,

“I don’t know how to face Captain about this - or talk to him about this. This Soulmate thing, the whole denial I had over him - heck it’s even fucking weird since we KNOW each other. It’s like ‘Hey haven’t seen you since SHIELD was trying to take you down? How you been? Seems like we’re both Soulmates!’”

Resting your head in the palms of your hands, elbows resting on your lap, “I thought meeting my Soulmate would be sort of cute, you know...sort of like well exactly how it went with James. But with Captain...it feels like he just ruined it. Which of course he didn’t, we both messed up. AND this fucking Soulmate business is just pissing me off, who the fuck decides this shit?”

Nat rolled her glass around in her hand, “Well, even it is ‘decided - it doesn’t mean you have to follow it.”

You tilted your head from your palms to watch your friend.

“Decide what you want to do with them yourself, you don’t need to follow the path paved for you. Choose what you want and -”

You threw yourself at Nat giving her a hug, to her surprise and finished her sentence, knowing exactly what she was going to say, “And make sure the decision is mine and what I truly want.”

Nat rubbed your back, “Exactly.”

You knew where she was coming from, but hearing someone else say that - especially from a dear friend, made you feel sane. You had considered it before at times that if your Soulmates turned out to be crap (I mean you did consider them being really really really old or just really really really freaking cheesy because of those petnames) - that you would have to consider rejecting them. Or times when you didn’t like the fact that ‘fate’ decided who were the ones you were destined to be with. It reassured you hearing from her that your thoughts of uncertainty weren’t going onto the crazy side (unlike well denying Cap saying your words)

Although that made you relieved though, just thinking about Cap set everything off inside you though. Was it the alcohol or pent up frustration from this entire day? Or maybe just being besides Nat made you also feel like you wanted to spill out everything that you were holding in? After all you did start the mess by keeping it all to yourself. Either way though even if you were consulting her, nothing was ever going to move if you didn’t go to the direct source.

“Nat...give me your phone, please.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you can sort of understand how different Steve and Reader are coping through things. Bucky and Reader? They are going through the glow of well, what they all thought meeting their soulmate would be like. Reader has been of course anticipating and Bucky has been too for even longer - but of course Steve is also involved so ...yeah. 
> 
> I’m now wondering if I’ve given Steve a shorter end of the stick now that I said that though. Not that I mind torturing and having an angsty Steve. 
> 
> On a timeline note if anyone is wondering why Steve and Siren can be taking it so hard - Reader heard her words like...basically not too long after the Avenger movie and then the Winter Solider movie + add on another year to that. So for me, I’m saying at leasttttt 3 years - or even a bit over 4 years since they first official spoke words in that bump in. (give or take a year though since I’m unsure if Avenger movie from Winter Solider in the movies is two years as well, I forgot.) I feel like I’ll end up making some diagram since even I feel like I’m confusing myself which makes things worse.
> 
> tldr; they have known each other for at least a few years + had awkward attraction, but never really acted on it - besides Steve constantly pursuing and being rejected. yep. only to find out no need they soulmates. yep.


	14. Awkward Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh gosh super late update, but no worries I’m not planning on abandoning this story. Just work + CHRIStmas + new years prep is crazy...and did I mention I’m off to go see Chris Evans again next week? Fucking Shit. (mostly that) so yep. That and this chapter went through way too many revisions and rewrites. It's as a result turned to weeks so I have to pump this out or I fear I'll lose touch of this story. ;;; I’m still not completely happy with this, but please bear with this - !!!

 

Hours had passed since Steve had found out not too long ago about the news of the Siren being his Soulmate. Bucky asked a few questions then and there...which Steve answered quietly with what he could. Most of the questions were just general questions though. Nothing much about why Steve hadn’t talked about their Soulmate - the one thing Steve was for sure not ready to tell Bucky. However after a while, when there was clearly nothing else that Steve could tell Bucky - he had let him be.

Steve eventually moved to take a shower and wash off the grime from the mission, though to his regret too bad he couldn’t wash away the sins he felt that he had committed. Where did he stand right now to her? And how about her and Buck?

For himself, he was just still relived that his Soulmate was Siren. And he still wanted her.

Ashamed that he was relieved - but it didn’t kill the need that Steve had, if anything it just made his longing for her even more. But the matter of them being Soulmates and how they both missed that was unclear and needed clearing up...

Thanks to his his super solider hearing - he heard his phone ring from the kitchen counter top where he had earlier left it. Generally most people didn’t call Steve unless it was urgent, since it seemed that was the way people nowadays categorized texts verses phone calls. So it wasn’t that much of a surprise when Bucky went ahead and answered it.

“Steve’s not- ...doll...”

Steve’s super solider hearing could hear how Bucky even though he was a bit away - was suddenly turned from tense to gentle and warm. They were doing some light talking from the responses Buck made. He wasn’t able to hear everything well such as who was talking on the other side because of the shower. Honestly ...Steve had an idea of who Bucky was talking to since there wasn’t a single other dame right now that Buck would call “doll” except for...

He paused, not sure about what would logically be right to do.

But.

Steve also wanted to hear her voice too.

Before he knew it, he had already turned off the water - swung a towel over his hips and walked out of the shower making a bee-line to Bucky. Arching an eyebrow at him, Bucky didn’t need to ask anything judging by how Steve had just came out of no where.

“Ah, he’s actually here...still want to talk to him?” he had turned to look at Steve, who could hear her response thanks to his super solider hearing. The soft yet firm murmur of a yes was what Steve could hear.

Bucky nodded as he turned to look at Steve, still holding onto Steve’s phone against his ear, “We’ll talk soon again later then, doll.”

Without any word, Bucky handed the phone over to Steve. He took it it and brought it up to his ear, thinking about what to say.

“H-hey.”

“Hey Rogers...” her soft voice still brought butterflies to Steve. Bittersweet, but it still didn’t feel any different than the last time he heard her voice. The bitter part of the feeling though was because she addressed him still by his last name.

“Sorry, I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything or-”

“No you weren’t. Don’t worry about that,” he reassured her gently.

“Ah, that’s...good. Good.”

Bucky was eyeing him, clearly he could hear every word she was saying too since he had super hearing as well. He walked out through to their bathroom, probably to give Steve some privacy, but clearly Buck probably would have loved to eavesdrop on their entire conversation.

“How did you get my number?” Steve asked, deciding to maybe prep up with some small talk with the dame. And honestly how did she have his number - they never exchanged numbers even back during work. It’s not like they needed them either since they never made it to even meeting once outside of work.

“Oh this is - I’m actually calling from Nat’s phone right now, don’t worry I’m not going all stalker on your ass now.” She added the last bit quickly, and Steve smiled at her silly comment.

“You don’t need to stalk, I’d tell you anything you would want to know.”

Well so much for trying to be subtle and light on the small talk. Buck would have probably gotten away with that line - feeling no shame, but Steve could feel the warm flush up to his ears at what he just said. Thank god neither she or Buck were in the room seeing how physically embarrassed he was.

He wouldn’t blame her though, he wanted to know everything about her also. Even before he knew...they were Soulmates...

She chuckled from the phone, nervously - indicating maybe that line was indeed too much for her.

“So, I’m guessing you heard the news...about us?” tentatively her soft voice asked. Although she probably sounded normal, Steve could hear the slight hesitant tone and wavering in her voice. He wished how he could reassure her that there wasn’t anything for her to be nervous about - but who was he to talk? He still was drowning in his own guilt.

“Yeah,” Steve sat down on the bar stool and leaned over their kitchen island table, not sure what else to say he added, “...I’m sorry.”

“Don’t say sorry now!” her voice sounded a bit appalled and Steve could hear her take deep controlled breath, “We don’t know each other’s situation...and I mean...that’s actually why I called to actually...”

He felt his heart twinge with both anticipation and anxiousness.

“You still up for that cup of coffee you owe me?”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Captain looked honestly, like he hadn’t had any sleep - which said a lot since he ALWAYS looked like a dazzling ball of sunshine and perfection. Even after getting banged up from missions he always had this dazzling aura. But now? It was like a candle had been put out and drenched in water. Well, okay the last time you saw him during the whole SHIELD-fiasco was also when you fought him for the first time and he pinned you down. Oh god, he had you pinned down - you hadn’t really thought about it since you were in mission/serious/Cap is in trouble mode. But thinking about it...had you flushing at the thought.

“So this isn’t entirely how I envisioned our date out to coffee would be like,” Captain said a bit jokingly - both out of nervousness and trying to lighten the extremely dark heavy mood.

“Neither did I...”

You were both having coffee in one of the public commons, it was one of the fancy cafes that was inside the tower - but Jarvis had cleared it out so that it would only be you two. It was literally the morning after the day you met James and found out that Captain was your Soulmate. Maybe not the best idea for you to have spontaneously plan, even if Nat and Jarvis had helped out with. Now was the actual talking...and maybe doing it in ...god less than 24 hours - wasn’t such a good idea. Well no time for regret (as well as regretting past things). Here the two of you were now, sitting in a fancy coffee table. His eyes looked heavy, he was

“I asked Jarvis how you liked your coffee, so I hope it’s to your liking,” you said while sort of lightly pushing the cup towards him.

“Thank you,” Rogers nodded and took it.

“How’s SHIELD?” he gave a slight smile - the cute one where his lips tilted up, “I heard that you’ve been helping with the recovery.”

Oh how that was not an easy thing to answer. Like - better now? But before you had issues, hell you still had issues. Anger issues. They even took you off the field.

“It’s still has it kinks, but it’s going.”

You were not going to throw-up about how SHIELD was going and how you had issues. Not during this talk.

“How about you and the whole Avenging?”

“Not too bad, it’s different. But more freedom,” nodding and turning to look around. He was gesturing to the whole ‘Tony Stark-ness” of the Avenger tower that Rogers had access to now. “It’s a bit more quiet though compared to back at SHIELD.”

“Well you don’t have to see agents flooding and bumbling around anymore. Instead have to see that all compromised to that one Stark, right?”

“True. Can’t say I ever get used the whole Avenging, but since Buck’s here - it feels better.”

You saw him wince for a split second that you managed to catch. Mentioning James - drew back the main focus of the ever long coffee date you two had been dancing around. The whole Soulmate thing. You stared into your own cup of coffee, while Cap had turned his head to stare outside. Oh how this was going to be a long talk. Whenever either of you would start that is.

How much time passed by with awkward silence you weren’t sure.

Thankfully though Rogers was the one to start, he took a deep breath.

“When I woke up that second time...I thought I heard my Soulmate words. But I wasn’t really awake so I wasn’t sure if it was real.”

You couldn’t argue with that - he was literally defrosting. You could only imagine what mental issues he had been going on, hell you remembered feeling the stress he had rolling off him back then. It was also so long ago that you weren’t as good at healing as you were now - thanks to lots of training and with the help of dear friends.

“That’s not much of a surprise. I was healing you and you had been pretty much unconscious,” looking straight at him, since this was something you could explain, “Coulson. He called me saying I had a special healing mission. I was there to help regulate your temperature and help with your mental stress from...the whole waking up from ice.”

His forehead was crinkled, as he intently listened to your explanation of things.

“When I first healed you - I did say something to you, but I thought you were unconscious the whole time...I didn’t know that you had a brief moment of awareness. In fact you didn’t even wake up one moment before I left.”

Captain spoke explaining his side, “I thought your words were a part of a dream. The thing is back in the war me and Buck would often wake up with dreams of hearing our other Soulmate words. Especially considering what they were...”

Wincing yourself, you had no clue at what you exactly said and wasn’t sure how to respond. He noticed your reaction and gently continued,

“ _'Captain, you’re safe...You’re home.’_ \- those are your words on me.”

Flushing at how he had guessed what you were wondering you stammered, “I’m sorry I don’t remember what I said.”

Rogers shook his head, “It’s not your fault, how would you have known.”

“No, this...this situation is also my fault,” you bit out, your heart racing as you were about to confess to him, “When I bumped into you...you did say my words. But you didn’t respond to my reaction, though of course why would you - they weren’t the first words I said to you.”

He wasn’t saying anything and you could almost feel your eyes glazing over with tears - that you were as fucking hell not going to let out. Normally you wouldn't have even been on the brink of tears, but you were worried. Did you make the wrong mistake in literally even calling this up? His lack of response wasn't helping you either. Maybe it was your powers that was helping you keep them from falling though. Either way you continued your ramble, not wanting to have more awkward silences between you two. You needed to confess.

“And I was conscious and dead aware that you said my words. I couldn’t see myself somehow getting the words of America’s beloved icon. So...after some time I basically stupidly convinced myself it was just a coincidence.”

He still didn’t respond to that and kept quiet.

The silence scared you since you knew how it sounded - no, how it was. You had just confessed you were a coward and couldn’t see him as your Soulmate, and because of that - you two weren’t united. Did he now look down on you? Oh god maybe it was a mistake for letting out everything now, and here was another mistake you couldn’t take back. Worried you felt yourself already rambling on.

“And you were so nice to me also, we had missions together. You would ask me for coffee all the time,” you laughed, “But I brushed it off since I didn’t want to cheat on my potential Soulmates. It’s not that I haven’t dated either Cap, but...I...felt if I tried...”

“...being together, we wouldn’t stop.” Captain finished.

You bit your lower lip and felt a blush come over your face - and nodded.

“That’s actually how I felt when Bucky came back actually - since him being alive meant that I still had another shot with our other Soulmate.”

That’s when you realized - that Captain had ruled out the possibility of his third Soulmate. He thought that with Bucky gone (who had your mark) meant there was no chance of him ever meeting the third, which was unknowingly at the time - you.

It felt a bit relieving that you two had the same thoughts, since Rogers had the same thinking as you did - the whole faithful to Soulmate thing. And it was fair game, he had a shit storm of things that happened to him when he woke up. James presumed dead, therefore Soulmate dead, and I mean basically all his friends too were mostly dead. He probably saw you as a moving on with life thing?

That’s what people do - find ways to cope and move on.

I mean that’s what you did with things for your own life for post Shield-Hydra, find ways to cope and move on. What made him any different?

That and he found out Bucky being alive - Soulmate probably alive - of course that would reverse things, yep.

Understanding didn’t mean the same thing as accepting and caring for the situation you two were going through though.

It was fucked up.

You on the other hand - a total total fuck up.

You could have fucking ASKED him instead of being a scared idiot, and he would maybe have told you your words and then BAM - END OF STORY. Well more like HAPPY end of story.

Instead it took dear James and you to have exchanged words and figure things out from then.

Speaking of James...

“What's James up to right now...?” you asked, hopefully maybe it was a lighter topic. Captain also seemed to have lighted up,

“He’s probably back at our apartment, waiting to hear how our talk went. ”

You stifled a little laugh to yourself, James was sweet over the phone to you and even when you last met. His words to you how he mentioned that, he was all yours - still rung in your mind now and then and would give you a comfy warm feeling deep in your heart.

But with Cap... it was weird.

You spent a lot of time - no not just a lot of time - YEARS - convincing yourself and accepting that Rogers wasn’t your Soulmate. You built a fucking wall to stop it!

Now to be told that - HEY it’s totally cool cause you know he’s your Soulmate- is basically saying that whole time was built for fucking nothing and was stupid.

And you also couldn’t feel upset at him since god, he was being considerate of his other Soulmate (you) - and that’s the same thing you were doing!

“Ah actually I have to be leaving soon,” you said realizing the time, Rogers straightened up higher in his seat and looked a bit frazzled at your sudden announcement, “I have some appointments that had been scheduled for me today.” Not a lie. You had to meet with Dr. Banner and the other doctors that were in the tower - since you were going to be working there. Even if it was just for James, it was only courteous to meet the people there. That and you had sorta figured out what Captain’s situation as did he with yours, so you two could mull over that silence apart from each other. Not awkwardly in each other’s company.

Cap started to speak, “About being Soulmates...”

“I’d actually like some time to still think things through...”

You said that so fast to him and you watched as Roger’s face fell suddenly. That wasn’t what you meant though so you quickly added, “No! I’m not saying I’m denying you or casting you out as my Soulmate, no no no. I just need time to sort of wrap my head around this some more.”

Captain seemed to have lighted up a bit - but still the air between you two was all stuffy and awkward.

“Take your time, I don’t want to make things hard on you,” he finally said. “But I want you to know -”

Captain stared you dead on,

“Understand that **I want you** as my Soulmate.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear this is like the most awkward date thing for me ever to have ever written. But it can’t be perfect balls of sunshine right? 
> 
> If they didn’t know they were Soulmates they would’ve been talking fine, but the whole truth reveal is still weird. It’s less than 24hours too hahaha...
> 
> Maybe Steve’s POV would’ve been helpful but honestly Reader and Steve are both similar in this situation. It’s the way how they don’t want to step on each other’s toes - but when they have a particular point that they want to get across they will just fucking get to it. Reader’s being the “LET’S TALK FUCKING NOW.” and Steve in “I WANT YOU.” 
> 
> And yes Reader does NOT know that Fury was also involved with saying lol no Cap you didn't have a female in the room. Details that he missed to tell her!!! Or was it intentional? Awkward date. If you could even call it that. 
> 
> I HAVE A LOT OF OT3 THINGS I HAVE TO WRITE (like smut), but it was just this was the hugeass fucking madness of a chapter to write. Besides if I didn’t have them talk and just had Reader/Steve avoid each other - you all would have been screaming right? Wouldn’t have made anything any different too in my opinion... Besides slow burn more lol. 
> 
>    
> Next update will hopefully happen before I leave for New Orleans to see Chris Evans, but if not hopefully the week after ;;;; (If any readers are going let me know on tumblr!!! )
> 
> So I hope you readers are still there and let me know what you think or if you have any requests you would like to see maybe! Thank you again for all the support that you have all been giving.


	15. Lighten Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comments for the previous chapter, I was so hesitant towards posting that and after so many revisions I still wasn’t happy... But after getting that literally in and out with their awkward meeting, writing IS BACK ON. More so like the terrible hurdle that had to be jumped over is jumped over - so everything else is easier to write compared to that. 
> 
> Also I’m still recovering from seeing Chris Evan’s again and my favorite directors ever, but I'll leave that my updates and pictures for my tumblr. 
> 
> On a side note I updated the warning for M, mostly for the violence and language. WITH the eventual change to explicit, but we're still again a long ways for anything NSFW so don't get too excited. I’ve been debating if I should go through kinks in tags ...but how about instead I say what I will /not/ be doing in a future chapter?

That day was actually indeed packed with things for you to do. After the whole Captain coffee meet of doom - there was meeting the medical staff in the Avenger’s tower. You got to learn more about the facilities offered there and even got to meet the Bruce Banner. He was very gentle and nice as you had so often heard from other people as well as even Nat herself - but to see him in person was quite a bit of a surprise nevertheless.

Jarvis was actually your personal tour guide showing you around the tower as well afterwards. Nat was busy on a mission with probably the other Avengers so she wasn’t able to. He directed you to various facilities that were offered there - such as the gym, personal training combat floor, shopping malls?, and as well as communal floors where the Avengers met. Apparently given your prior relationship with Nat, Clint, and Cap - three Avengers - gave you enough clearance to be given permission to go there. Though you really felt that it was because now you were known to be the Soulmates of Captain America and the Winter Solider...

After that long long tour though, you had Jarvis help guide you back to your room - as well as order some food for you too. Honestly this whole personal butler thing treatment you were getting from him - was something you could get used to. If only Jemma could create something like...

Shit Jemma. Jemma AND Skye.

You hadn’t told them the news yet... Not to mention that you never spoke to Jemma about the whole thing with you hearing your words...never bothered to consult her - you could only imagine how she would react. If you prolonged it any more with her too, it was bound to just get messier.

And speaking of Soulmates - you hadn’t even let yourself think about what Cap had talked to you about earlier. You had entirely sort of blocked it out for the rest of the day, numbing yourself to think about LATER.

And that later time was sort of “now”.

Shit.

 

* * *

 

After speaking to Siren - Steve ran. He couldn’t stay in the tower and think about things or was ready to talk to Bucky about everything. Before leaving the tower though he did send some messages though. He felt like an idiot and there wasn’t a single thing he could do to fix it. Speaking to Siren did help clear things up for her end though. That whole time while Steve was asleep...she had been there by his side helping him heal. No wonder he felt so refreshed and at peace, that wasn’t the magic of modern medicine - but _her._

Fury was another issue though. That was actually one of the messages that Steve had sent before he left the tower. He didn’t know the direct contact to Fury so he had sent one to Natasha - asking if she could get a hold of Fury for him. He had some good explaining and talking to give to both himself and Siren.

Honestly it wouldn’t be not much of a surprise that Fury and SHIELD knew that they were Soulmates. They had retrieved his own body and could see his words - in fact with technology so advanced would they have been able to even distinguish who wrote them? Steve had been asleep so who knows what they were measuring with his body. That and Siren had said her words while they were under surveillance. Something had to have been up.

Steve was also torn about how he felt with Siren hearing Steve’s words and yet...not believing that he was her Soulmate. It tore him a bit that she wasn’t able to feel confident enough in such a wonderful gal as herself and that she even though that she didn’t deserve him.

...and what could Steve do with that?

She asked for time to think things through. So he couldn’t just talk to her...right? He had to give her space -

“On your right.”

Steve turned his head to said direction and saw Bucky running besides him.

“Buck.”

“You didn’t say you’d be running for hours, so I got a little worried,” his partner said shrugging towards a rest stop so that they could get a breather. As they started to slow down, it was then that it hit Steve just...how exhausted he was.

“And a bit curious of course about what you two talked about,” Buck added while handing Steve a bottle of water. He had said it in such a happy teasing way - Steve couldn’t help but laugh a little at him. Tilting his head back and letting out a sigh, he told Buck everything that went down with the dame - from the coffee she got him and to her final words to Steve before they left.

“She didn’t reject you,” was the first comment Bucky said after he finished the story. But for Steve even if she didn’t directly reject him - it still wouldn’t have been the first time that he had been indirectly rejected with the “I’ll think things through-” line. It made him anxious and worried that she would turn that thinking into a rejection. And there wasn’t a single thing he could do about it.

“No...” was all he said, but Buck groaned - obviously understanding what Steve was worried about.

“So she needs time with you, of course she does...and bright side is you two sort of figured out the situations with each other, right?”

“You’re sure much more lighthearted about this than you were yesterday.” he mumbled a bit grudgingly and enviously.

“Moreso I think I have to be, otherwise all three of us would be a worried mop of thoughts,” Bucky mused, “Believe me there’s a whole shit load of things I could be worried or thinking of now, but I’m not.”

Although Steve actually couldn’t remember the exact way the exchange went with first meeting her - he did remember the key words of how she called him gorgeous with a flushed face. Her cute reaction (which was because he said her words) always stuck with Steve since it had left a impression on him.

“I want to...talk to her more, be with her more.”

Besides all the torment of emotions and thoughts - they were what Steve knew he purely wanted. He still had shame over his thoughts before over Siren and his Soulmate - before knowing that they were the one and the same. As well as all the other thoughts and worries.

“And I can’t have the time to do that,” he sighed that bit dejectedly, “She wants to think about it.”

“Why is that so bad? Doesn’t that just give you more time to plan things?” Bucky asked in a matter-of-factly manner.

“...what?” Steve just asked cluelessly.

“God Steve, I forgot how stupid you can get when it comes to a dame...guess I shouldn’t be surprised since it’s our one and only...” Bucky trailed off, “You’re a tactician right? Take the time to plan out how you’ll get her.”

As if a light-bulb had just gone off in Steve’s head - his posture straightened up. Buck was right - of course. Suddenly it felt like everything wasn’t as bad as it seemed, since Steve now felt he had a better idea and grasp over the situation.

“I guess I got some planning to do then,” Steve grinned at his Soulmate.

 

* * *

 

Breaking literally everything out to Jemma and Skye - wasn’t easy at all as you expected. Jemma was upset especially for the fact that you didn’t run things through with her when you first heard Cap’s words from the start. However they were a lot ...kinder than you expected about the whole situation, besides Jemma still upset about the not telling her from the start bit. Currently though the three of you were still conversing through the screen that was your television, thanks to Jarvis.

“That’s a hell of a way to start working at the Avenger’s tower though - a real big bang,” Skye said a bit jokingly, yet realizing how she said it she winced trying to fix her statement, “A good sort of bang...right?”

“Honestly I find the most intriguing part to be like...this entire time you had been denying me to do some handwriting analysis and see how it turned out? It turned out...sort of perfectly with Sargent James fitting everything into piece. Captain Rogers is one sort a mess...but it’s quite interesting,” Jemma said with her curiosity of the possibilities clearly going about in all her head, “Despite having said your words to each other a long time ago, yet not knowing you were both Soulmates - predestined? And does that mean it was fate that you would deny using technology? Or was it you that molded and changed that part of destiny-”

“Oh no not now Jemma,” you said waving your hands at her, she was already on rambling theories mode, “I’m glad you’re seeing some cool part for yourself to think about later - but right now I don’t need to hear these theories you have.”

“Ah right,” she said a bit dejectedly and a pout.

“So...what do you gals think? Was it...stupid to sort of just ask for Cap to lay off?” you shrugged.

“No, it makes sense for you to need time - it’s quite...shocking news after all even for me as your friend,” Jemma responded, “Besides you do have Sargent Barnes to at least first get around knowing and healing.”

“For me...I agree with Jemma, but at the same time I’m surprised you don’t want to just hop on him now,” Skye sort of teasingly grinned, “Hasn’t he been trying to date you before anyways?”

“Skye!!!” you yelled blushing, but she was right - you had talked to them before in general speaking terms about how you would totally do Captain America during your drunken nights.

“What? I think you need to lighten up at least a little - yes you and Captain had a mishap in not knowing you were both Soulmates, but now you do!” she said putting both hands up, “You’re thinking things through with him so...doesn’t that mean you should think of the things that can happen when you get with him?”

Skye winked at you and you burst out laughing, “You are terrible Skye, oh my god.”

“I’m just saying the facts, and I mean you also have the Winter Solider...god you have two super soldiers as Soulmates - do you realize that?”

“One of them should be manageable for you but two? ...I think I might need to do a physical on you again...” Jemma thoughtfully trailed off.

“I only met James once!!! Don’t go corrupting him now for me!” you moaned - but knowing that they weren’t going to stop anyways. Though did you technically meet James twice...? Bah whatever, you fainted during your meeting and it basically continued on - so once it was.

“We’re only looking out for you and...punishing you just a teensy bit for not telling us sooner,” Jemma responded.

“Oh and I see you call Sargent Barnes, ‘James’,” Skye added, “Already to that point with him even if you met him once? Even Captain Rogers doesn’t get that treatment...so what does that say about ‘James?”

“I...it just works easier than calling him Barnes! And Rogers has always been that way for me - for years, it’s _weird_ still.”

“But maybe he’ll find it attractive in bed?” Skye turned over to look at Jemma thoughtfully, acting all jokingly seriously about the matter. Jemma nodded in a similar manner, “That would be interesting to know though considering he is Captain America.”

While they just continued to laugh and tease you, you groaned loudly, “Oh my god, who cares about that when you gals going to kill me before I can find any of those things out!”

The two of them continued to tease and torment you until a familiar voice cut in, “Excuse me ladies, sorry to interrupt...”

Skye and Jemma turned and behind them was Coulson, doing his usual - trying to do the “I’m really cool (but not)” act.

“If you’ll excuse us for a moment, I believe that Agent Siren wanted to speak with me?”

Your happy expression from earlier turned grim and serious since the mode now had changed. Skye and Jemma nodded and with a quick glance at you the two walked out of view and presumably out from the sounds of a door. It left just you and Coulson to communicate between the screens.

“So I don’t know too much besides the fact that you said it was serious, but you don’t normally contact me.”

Ever since you had found out Coulson was alive - the relationship between you two wasn’t as friendly as it used to be. It wasn’t cold - just rather more on a professional level. Was the relationship strained by his lie though? Sure at first, but as time went by with helping out the new SHIELD you were careful with who you placed an attachment to - more distant. Jemma and Skye were the exceptions, as well as a couple other people within SHIELD. Maybe a part of you was afraid that one day something like the Hydra betrayal with your friends would repeat itself. No matter how hard you tried to prevent it. But if such a betrayal happened again - wouldn’t it be easier if you were detached from people?

“I have a question about way back - back when I was healing Cap,” you started and then carefully said, “Did you know that he and I were both Soulmates...?”

“What?” Coulson asked with the most confused look on his face, “You are Cap’s Soulmate?”

“Coulson if you’re lying it’s fine I know now what we are so - just tell me the truth,” you sternly said.

“I actually really didn’t know,” he said looking away - his face pensive as if he was thinking back. Sighing at that, since it wasn’t what you were hoping for - you nodded waiting for him to say anything else.

“Back when I went to retrieve you for the mission I was ordered to just bring you along to help Cap heal.”

“Was there anything else? Anything strange?” you weren’t happy that Coulson wasn’t giving you any answers.

“I suppose...there was one, I was told that if Cap showed any signs of waking up - you were to immediately leave the room right away,” he added.

Sighing, “I was hoping you would have something more for me since, I wouldn’t be surprised if SHIELD scanned through his Soulmate words and found a match with me. I just - it feels a bit off.”

“How about this, I’ll look into it for you and let you know as soon as I find something out?” he asked giving a slight smile, “After all you are the Captain’s Soulmate.”

“Oh don’t you go giving me that shit too Coulson!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I SHOULD note that Steve and Avengers know that Coulson is alive. I did have a precious plot where like they didn’t know and such (as with MCU) but meh, I mean it’s most likely that Coulson might not ever cross again in MCU movies - so whatever. They know that Coulson is doing something with the new SHIELD and shit. They don’t know WHAT - but know that he’s there existing. 
> 
> Other thing is - the data dump that Nat did back in Winter Solider. She apparently uploaded every single thing up onto the internet for everyone, so where does that leave Siren? The answer is - I’m basically saying that her data dump didn’t really include /everything/. I don’t feel they answered it much for Agents of SHIELD so I’m going to keep it that her huge data unload did include a lot of shit, but not everything. / I’m just keeping that ambiguous as well. 
> 
> Also I have a very unpopular opinion but I would /love/ to put Will (not taken over Will) into the story as Jemma’s Soulmate. But...I honestly have no reason to add in her having a Soulmate anyways though, so I will just leave her Soulmate-less at the moment.


	16. Healing Bond

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hump day!!! A bit more and weekend free!! I’ve been literally heads over distracted reading other lovely fanfics on Ao3 which is why I’ve been slow. (Guess who’s my lovely OT3 to read here~) I’m so distracted reading them and power reading so many things, it’s past time for me to have time to write...
> 
> So I let this chapter run around so it’s the longest one I have I believe. It’s filled with lots of Bucky!!! 
> 
> Also I’m throwing in more of my Soulmate AU things. Notes on that are thrown in the End Notes!

“You really sure you’re okay with seeing me so soon, doll?” James asked.

You were both in the room that you had first met a couple days earlier, the place you were to treat James. There was a sense of awkward hesitation in the air, but that was probably because of the situation between you and Captain. You pushed that aside since you wanted to keep the professional part of yourself present, remembering that you were here to treat James. If you weren’t thinking of him as a patient, you knew that you would just want to chat with him and try to get to know him a bit more. Work first, play second. All that was for a time outside of your healing session with James.

“Well of course, I mean...I came here to help you. I’m not going to just take a vacation and come back when I’m ready- that’s not how the world works,” you shrugged, “And besides I do want to help you.”

“Steve-”

“Rogers is an entirely different issue,” you curtly and quickly responded, “We may all be Soulmates, but right now the drama is really between him and I...and I’d rather you don’t get yourself wrapped up worried about that during your healing session.”

James looked ready to protest still right away so you put your finger up close to his face to stop him from saying anything, “Right now you’re here to relax, so just be a good kitty and lie down.”

 

* * *

 

Bucky wanted to say something to you at your “lying down” comment, but bit his tongue down to keep his naughty comment to himself. He didn’t know how much he could push or tease you without scaring you away. Bucky wasn’t sure where he could cross with you so he simply decided to listen to what you said and laid down on the reclined chair.

But the dame also had a sharp tongue and didn’t seem so delicate with the way she had behaved so far with both Steve and himself. She was the one who arranged the meeting with Steve first and even today with their healing session. Yesterday night when Jarvis told him about how she was setting up an appointment for this morning - he was shocked and glad. Steve had tensed up, anxious and worried - while he himself had been excited and nervous (in the good way) to meet her again.

If they weren’t meeting, initially Bucky was prepared to fight to try to see her today. As in get a glimpse and sort of see how she’s doing from afar. He knew that sounded creepy, it was - but he didn’t think he would have a chance to actually talk to her. And Bucky felt like he was dying inside from being so apart from her.

After being 24 hours apart from her - Bucky started to feel twinges of pain. He hadn’t told Steve about it, since he had enough on his plate right now and could tell him later. But Bucky got an idea of what was most likely happening to himself.

The Soulmate bond was probably Bond Pulling Bucky towards the doll really hard. It wasn’t unheard of since there were cases of mates feeling a strong pull once the words were said - it was the bond trying to Seal the deal with each other. It was an event that could happen after meeting your Soulmate for the first time.

He and Steve never had that Bond Pull happen, even when they parted from each other at times during the war. It was something the two were actually thankful for since that would have made their parting even harder. But now Bucky understood by what all those Unbonded Soulmates*in the war were talking about. It felt like his heart was being stretched apart being tested on it’s limits of just how far it could stretch. The sensation wasn’t crippling or decapitating, but gave a real definition to what a heartache felt like. The moment he saw the dame, all that pain from the Bond Pull went away. And instead turned to an immense rush of just wanting to stay with her.

The only way to relieve the Bond Pull was to Seal with the Soulmate...which was most likely not going to happen anytime soon.

How was she putting up with the Pull?

Fuck - was she even experiencing it? A Bond Pull was usually a two-way street, but there were irregular cases. Hell - the situation with him, her, and Steve was irregular that there was no point in comparing this to anything.

“So, it’s fairly simple. All I’ll be doing is putting my hands against your temples and then just using my powers on you. The rest is just you relaxing while I do my thing,” she said breaking Bucky’s thoughts. She was moving a chair closer so that she sat directly behind and over him. The way she was sitting though so close to him, he could see the tops of her breasts above him...

He shifted a bit, wondering if it was the Bond Pull teasing him - probably not though. But his mind was going down the gutter. The doll was going to eventually notice at this rate that Bucky wasn’t the only one happy to see her.

“That’s it?” he asked trying to put his mind to other things, “Do I have to be thinking of anything particularly or...”

“No no, if anything you can try to relax? I could put on some music I guess - that’s an option if it helps...right um...Jarvis?”

“That is correct, I can play anything Sargent Barnes wishes,” Jarvis suddenly replied.

“Er...I’ll leave that up to you instead doll, I’m alright either way,” he replied sheepishly. Seems he would have to think of something else than the fact to keep his mind out of the gutter.

Music though didn’t really matter to Bucky since he wasn’t sure what music would relax him. Tunes he heard back then, might but...they also reminded him of what he had also lost. Steve always liked to listen to the stuff still or try out the music that people recommended to him, but Bucky always felt a bit anxious whenever he heard a song he recognized.

“In that case, Jarvis can you put up some relaxing ambient music? The most soothing please!” she said looking up to the ceiling, Bucky watched her and chuckled to himself. She didn’t have to look up at the ceiling every time Jarvis talked, after all he was just some AI - he would hear her no matter what, but Bucky found it adorable.

“Alright, I guess we should get started,” the dame said while then putting her hands over his temples. He felt her soft touch, gentle and warm, and a bit tingly.

She gave a slight laugh, “You could close your eyes you know? It’s making me feel a little self conscious with you watching me like this...”

“Oh right,” Bucky responded, quickly closing his eyes. He couldn’t help but want to watch her.

The dame sighed a bit contently and suddenly her touch started to feel slightly warmer and firmer against his face. Bucky’s mind suddenly started feeling fuzzy and hazy. Not in a bad way, or in a way that would make you fall asleep. Such as the hazy feeling you feel when you just wake up, aware - but not quite all the way there.

But before he knew it it felt like he was drifting away under her touch.

 

* * *

 

As you healed Bucky, you easily felt something was a bit “off” with him. It wasn’t the usual sensation that you would feel with PTSD victims. You couldn’t tell just what it was- but besides that, healing him was pretty easy.

Honestly you would have to at least sit there for half an hour at least, but when you were focusing on just soothing his mind - time would go by fast before you realizing it.

When you were healing mental stresses of the mind, it was like untangling a knot - or putting together a puzzle. But with PTSD, it would be like putting a puzzle together only to find that there are some pieces missing. Or if you were untangling a knot you would realize that there wasn’t just one knot, but a bunch all in a crazy ball of knots. It would be like finding about a dozen of your favorite long necklaces getting their chains all knotted up.

Plus PTSD stresses would come to regular sessions and not just one or two. The puzzle or knot would have to be solved again, but usually the problem would be a little easier as the sessions went by.

As you started to get a hang of working on James - you mused to yourself how maybe it wasn’t so bad that you went straight to working on him the day after. Even if you were nervous about seeing him again, you were also simply happy just being with him. Funny. Is this how it’s like being with a Soulmate?

After talking to Coulson a bit the other day, you told Jarvis to notify James that your sessions with him would start the following morning.And yes - this time you did consult Jemma and Skye with it as well. There wasn’t much point in delaying your meeting with James and it’s not like you both had anything weird. You were simply two Soulmates who had just met.

You kept at it, healing him and concentrating on putting all your power to helping him. And once you felt that you could fix all that you could for today, you moved your hands off of James. Glancing at your side to see the clock - you saw that you had been at it for a little over two hours.

T...That was a new record.

For extensive healing it took maybe at most forty minutes per session - but never this long for just one. You weren’t sure either if this was a bad thing or a good thing. To be honest it felt like a normal session, but...maybe this was also a bad thing that you should worry a bit more about too.

Looking down at James, the man was clearly knocked out or giving a really good impression of it. Well you didn’t trust yourself knowing if anyone was conscious or not anymore, but he seemed knocked out. That and what was with those insane gorgeous long lashes of his, you thought to yourself with a bit of envy. You felt a bit of shame for taking this time to ogle him, but he was your Soulmate, right? You had every bit of a right to look at what destiny had tied you to.

That and besides you hadn’t really talked or seen James ever since the first meeting - or well maybe second if you count the whole fainting then meeting again. There wasn’t any reason for you to feel awkward, besides the issue with Rogers.

Huffing out a sigh, honestly meeting James was like any Soulmate meeting was supposed to typically be like. You both exchanged words - clicked one plus one equals two - and figured things out right then and there. And now you wanted to learn everything and more about him.

It was going to take a lot of time with Captain - but James you honestly just...wanted to be with now. The feeling you had with James was different than Captain’s...

Looking up and down James’ well built body, you unconsciously licked your lips.

Was it your mind playing games with you? It felt like now that you found your Soulmate - you wanted to 1000% jump on that man since it was your damn right. The urge to have sex and lots of orgasms wasn’t unfamiliar to you, but it was the urgency and sudden lust for the man lying before you. With James you felt that you could happily ride him tonight. Fuck, even right now.

It’s not like you didn’t think of Captain that way either, but James was different right now. ( That and maybe the whole confusion is muddling things up with your sexy thoughts of him too)

Calm down Siren, you are a grown adult who can control herself. This is just some crazy Soulmate pheromones combined with not being laid in a while running crazy in your brain. You are not going to jump on a man who at the moment right now is your patient - you could happily take care of any raging horny hormones of yours, yourself at a more private time.

“Doll...?”

 

* * *

 

Bucky felt a light wind go over his face, well actually it was the dame’s breath. He woke up a little bit ago, to the feeling of her hands no longer on his face to his dismay. And honestly he felt groggy from the nap he assumed he took, but it was actually a nice feeling.

Blinking he saw the dame looking guilty and flushed. Was she okay?

Bucky slowly started to sit up, while she helped him steady himself. He still felt a bit groggy, even if he felt refreshed.

“The grogginess will go away in a bit, it’s just your body and mind getting used to the ...healing session,” she gently informed him, while Bucky felt himself feel more oriented.

“I feel...clear.”

He blinked at his own reply he just uttered, but it was true. It felt like there wasn’t such a heaviness looming in the back, in fact Bucky didn’t even notice there was a heaviness till now - since it was gone. Right now he felt light and clear.

The dame smiled, “That’s good, it’s what most people say after a session so I take it as a good sign.”

“And hungry as hell,” he firmly stated, “That’s weird since I’m sure I ate enough for five guys this morning too.”

“Oh that’s just another side effect some people have - let me see what else could you have...”

“It’s fine, how about you just help me up and we go and get something to eat for...lunch?” He had glanced at the clock to see that it was a couple hours that had already passed by. That and it was all a part of Bucky’s plan anyways, to spend more time with her after whenever they were done.

“Lunch?” She suddenly looked happy and super eager at the single word that he mentioned, Bucky’s curiosity must have shown on his face for she tilted her head, “What? Healing takes a lot out of me and gets me hungry.”

 

* * *

 

“You’re making me feel terrible,” you said in a warning tone as you watched James work his magic in the kitchen. When he asked for you two to get lunch together - you thought literally you two were going to get lunch together somewhere. Not this whole thing of James actually MAKING you lunch while you sat there and watched.

Right now you were in the Avenger’s exclusive communal floor. (And only some other special people who were given clearance...) The two were alone, probably since maybe the rest was out Avenging or who knows what.

“I’m making you lunch, how is that making you feel terrible?”

“You aren’t letting me even help you.”

“I’m trying to impress you so let me do my thing, doll,” he said giving you a quick wink, and then continued to cook away.

His teasing nature was endearing and it made it easy for you to talk back to him. After all you could just tease him back, and as a result it made talking with James was a hell of a lot easier. You couldn’t go full on brutal with your teasing as you did with your other friends and agents though. As well as Nat being on an entirely different level - oh the heavy brutal sarcasm battles you two had.

“Fine, and here I thought men from the forties weren’t into doing the cooking and left that to the women.”

“Well my family raised me differently, they thought I should know my place around the kitchen - that it was another battleground I should learn,” James responded.

Right now from the looks of it as you watched form the kitchen island bar stool - he was making carbonara and some other side dishes with it. At the sound of a ding before you knew it, he was setting down plates of food before you. Laid out in front of you was a hot plate of carbonara, salad, a side of hot ministrone soup, and hot steamy cheesy garlic bread. It looked fucking delicious and you could not wait to get that all in you. That and ask James for some cooking tips since he made that all in a pretty short amount of time.

“Go and dig in,” he grabbed one of the garlic bread pieces and started to chew it down, “It’s hot and fresh...and I hope it impressed.”

James made the cutest smirk, that you were sure your face was blushing at him right now. Trying to shoo away your smitten thoughts, you did as you were told and started eating.

“Oh god, this is beyond delicious...” you moaned, “You have me beyond impressed right now.”

He had been watching your every move, you noticed as glanced up from your plate, “Glad to hear it worked.”

There might have been some awkward silence between you two for a bit, but it was mostly because you two were focused on eating. Both of you damn well hungry, but as things started to slow down - that’s when the talking started to happen.

“So...how much do you know about me?” James asked hesitantly while starting to play around with his food on his plate.

“Do you mean do I know of James Buchanan Barnes or the Winter Solider?”

“Both.”

“Both,” you retorted back and smiling back at him gently, “I grew up learning about Captain America and his Howling Commandos. He had an amazing best friend called James Buchanan Barnes who was also known as quite a womanizer from the documentaries I’ve seen too...are they true?”

He had a bit of a mortified face, probably since you said the last bit a bit accusatory though either way didn’t upset you though since you were teasing him.

“That was before and it was only since I wanted to-...learn how to treat my future doll right.” The last bit of his words trailed off. Blinking in surprise, you sighed. Both of you were most definitely on the same wavelength.

“I’m not mad if you’re not mad I did the same?”

“Deal,” James nodded, “Though should I be concerned too?”

You ignored him since that type of talk could be left for the future. There was something you had been waiting for to say to him and find the perfect time to say.

“As for the Winter Solider...I’ve heard the legends and bits, but before all that - I’ve always wanted to say something to you.”

He raised an eyebrow at you curiously, “What is it?”

“Thank you.”

James shuffled a bit in his chair, confused at your response.

“Thank you, for that time back when...I was captured by Hydra. I always wanted to say that to you, or at least meet you and find you again somehow to save you. They were going to... erase my memories, right?” James mouth formed a straight line and he nodded to your question.

“So if it wasn’t for you saying something, even if it wasn’t intentional, I was thankful that I didn’t have to have that happen to me.”

“...I’m sorry you had to see that,” he grimly responded, concerned that you were talking about the Hydra prison. Again here he was being such a sweetheart. When you thought back to the Hydra prison, you still to this day felt a slight edge of fear. But the thought that whole time it was your Soulmate you got to see there, made the experience have more meaning in a positive way.

You waved hand in front of James, as if trying to snap him out of the sad expression he was giving. “I’m glad I got to see you, our Soulmarks wouldn’t make any sense without us seeing each other before hand, right?”

“True. I was always wondering and sort of watching out for all the dames - since your mark says we sort of met before.”

“Well mine on the other hand isn’t as precise as that,” you pouted, “Couldn’t stop thinking about me? Maybe I had spared with you during a mission on the opposing team? Or maybe you were some creepy stalker who was watching me from afar?”

 

* * *

 

She sure hit the target in the bulls eye on that comment. Bucky gulped, since that had been his initial plan today - that plan had of course been trashed the moment she scheduled their healing session. And here they both were now having lunch together.

He half laughed at her joke, “Well I do want to know about you, that’s for sure something.”

“Hmm do you know anything about me?” she said tilting her head sweetly, lips curled into a cute smile.

“Your code name is Siren, for some reason. You’re a gifted agent with water powers and other things. That and I hear you’ve got quite the personality from Steve and Natalia.”

“Well that’s all true, but I don’t know what ‘quite the personality’ means...” her nose wrinkled at the way that Bucky had worded it, “Anyways Rogers wouldn’t know too much since we’ve only been together on missions, never outside of that...”

Her tone grew a little distant so Bucky decided to switch it off from Steve, “How about you tell me about yourself directly and I’ll tell you some things about myself?”

“I’ll show you mine if I you show me yours, sorts of deal?” she asked curiously.

“Oh we can definitely do that too if you’d like...”

“Cool off Sarge, it’s only our second...third?...time meeting! Of course I’m all up for sex with you but not-” her cheeks flamed red suddenly and she suddenly looked mortified - as if realizing what she just said. Bucky was in the same boat too on the embarrassed train, since he maybe took the teasing too far on that one and felt a bit bad for making her embarrassed. (Though more than glad to hear she was up for sex with him.)

The two said nothing - just looking at each others bewildered faces. That was until the dame started to laugh at first nervously, but then out of pure laughter - which was so adorable and cute Bucky found himself joining her in the laughter.

The had a lot to learn with each other and it had a rocky start, but they were going to sure as hell have fun with it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Unbonded Soulmates are Soulmates who have met each other, but have not bonded. Steve and Bucky are a prime example, Chapter 10 for reference. 
> 
> I’m adding in more of my own Soulmate Lore things, so I know as chapters go by things can be forgotten - so I may just put a chapter or something to put a more detailed epxlantion. My preference of adding in fanmade lore is through the course of the story...rather than BAM HERE IS THE SETUP OF HOW THE WORLD WORKS. But since it’s been a slow build and burn story - things get through chapters a lot slower. 
> 
> Hope my own fanmade Soulmate world though isn’t detering, I just wanted to always add in teensey bit more to Soulmates AU. Besides the words bit. 
> 
>  
> 
> Plot ACTION wise may seem a bit slow, but it’s because there’s been lots of Canon MCU things happening - so now it’s time for them to settle down and now sort down the feelings side of things and getting to know each other. 
> 
> There may come a time where I fear I may just want to write smut and only that too. I suppose writing so much plot with no sexy fun, has me going in extremes. So I’m trying to marry the two.


	17. And I'm Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a gif obsession lately, or more like. I WANT TO FIND A REASON TO PUT GIFS INTO EVERYTHING, so that is why last chapter’s responses had gifs everyone. 
> 
> Seriously one day I might just do a diverge where this is Civil War compliant too. That trailer for the Superbowl... 
> 
> Thank you for all the comments and kudos!! They seriously always encourage me to keep with this story and continue writing. :)

“Well I’ll say that this date went very well,” you smiled. The two of you had talked about each other, learning about each other. Sure it was mostly still light stuff on the surface, like what your favorite food is, your “origin” story of working at SHIELD whatnot. But James listened to you intently and genuinely interested.

“A date? Let me be very clear and tell you that this wasn’t a date. Don’t put the pressure on me now,” James reached over to grab a hand of yours, clasping it in-between both of his palms, “When you’re on a date with me - you’ll know it.”

The cocky yet somehow cute and fucking adorable nature of his made you grin. His skin against yours, was warm and soft. Gentle...and comforting, just like the last time when you woke up with his hand holding yours.

“I’m now sure that they did indeed get your grossly charming nature right in all the movies about you...”

“Maybe it’s just that I’m such a natural, that I left such a legacy,” James grimaced then, “Though honestly I’d rather not ever watch something that was based off my life, feels weird.”

“Oh? Maybe we should make that a date then,” sticking your tongue out slightly at him, “Sounds like my type of fun.”

James shook his head laughing, but then brought your hand up to his lips, giving it a soft chaste kiss. As his soft lips brushed across your skin, you felt a warmth tingle up and run around throughout your body. You also took a note to get revenge back on James, for that kiss later. After he gave that soft kiss though - he didn’t put your hand back and kept it near his face. The playful look that he had earlier been exchanging with you suddenly had turned serious. It felt as if James was holding onto your gaze and you couldn’t look away. If gazes could melt...

“I hate to interrupt, but Dr. Banner has been waiting for when you had both finished your lunch,” Jarvis suddenly announced.

“Shit, I totally forgot about him. He told me about how he wanted to do regular check in’s to see how my healing was working on you...” you got up out of your seat, a bit too fast. That was because you also wanted to snap out of the spell that James had you under earlier. You liked it, but you also wanted to make his own heart race too so you had to try to remain strong and not let him win first.

That and you wanted to give the best impression that you could to Dr. Banner...and the Hulk. You sure did not want to make that guy angry.

“Relax, I forgot too.” James followed you down the hall, “That and he’s a lot nicer than he seems.”

“Promise me that if he gets even a teensy bit angry, you’ll protect me?” you batted your eyes, jokingly since that would mean James going up against the Big Green Guy.

“For you doll? I would protect you against anything and everything.”

 

* * *

 

“Thank god for Jarvis,” James said during his full body MRI scan system thing, “If only I could have a book or something to read in here though.”

He was lying down in what looked like a super big vast life pod. Actually sort of looked similar to a pod you once saw Jemma and Fitz in way back...during the time of the Hydra attack. This looked ten times more advanced, but the way it worked and looked was similar. While the machine was doing it’s work, Doctor Banner was on the side reading the computer results.

“We can’t have everything now and I was nice enough to let you have lunch,” Banner retorted, “Besides it’s just a ten minute scan - don’t complain.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be quiet? It’ll mess up the scans,” you told James with a slight scolding tone. It probably wasn’t true...but it seemed to work on James anyways. He obeyed and was quiet while the machine and Dr. Banner did their work.

You walked around the lab, looking at all the equipment. Gosh if Jemma was here, she would probably be squealing in delight at everything. She had still tried to mention if you could try to sneak a picture here and there - but that would go against the contract you had to sign getting into Avenger’s Tower. Super tight nondisclosure contract that would basically end your life if you crossed it.

“Something besides the Winter Solider catching your eye?” a female voice said in a teasing tone. Turning around you saw a young doctor looking at you with a familiar glint in her eye. It was the glint of mischief that was similar to one Skye would give you.

“Ah, no it’s just - everything’s so...advanced,” you tried to sound as smart and normal, but probably sounded just for a loss of words. The woman laughed, “It’s fine, anyways I’m Helen Cho.”

You exchanged the greeting and when she extended her hand out to you, you took it and shook back. You could feel that her excitement was indeed genuine...and her palms seemed a bit sweaty. And from the touch, she seemed a bit nervous? As if she knew you could feel her sweaty palms, Helen took her hand back quickly, “Sorry I’m a bit nervous...it’s been a busy day and I wasn’t prepared to meet the exclusive Siren.”

“...I’m sorry?”

“You probably don’t remember me, but a couple years back you actually saved me and my team when you were with SHIELD. It was a bit before the Hydra situation though, so it was hard to try to ever say my gratitude to you.”

“Ah I’m still working with SHIELD actually,” you smiled, “Although...I’m sorry to say that I don’t remember you.”

“Not a problem. I was just one of many, besides I’m already being given the chance to see your other powers at work,” Helen walked over to Banner with you to look at the screens, “I heard the rumors that you had abilities to heal...”

“And she’s the real deal, he has definitely improved by a great deal...it’s amazing,” Banner said while reading the results, “I would love the chance to actually study-”

“Nope I’m already exclusive to another doctor,” you curtly declined. Big Green or not - Jemma would kill you and bring you back to life, and then kill you again if you let someone else voluntarily examine how you tick without her permission. She liked the idea that she got her own gifted to study and experiment with, and wanted to keep that exclusiveness to herself.

Banner sighed, “Let them know I asked for permission from them then.”

“As do I,” Helen chimed in. Although she seemed a bit too eager, she reminded you of a combination of Jemma and Skye. You missed them too much. That and maybe just the testosterone that exuded from just one of your Soulmates was making you drown in all that. (And again, god it was hard to even mention Soulmates since that meant thinking of Rogers. Infuriating man.)

“She’s actually already exclusive to me,” James had gotten out of the machine a bit ago and walked over to you, “So...deal with it.”

“Seriously?” you gave him a look of disbelief. Mostly since if you weren’t going to react in a sassy retort - you were going to blush and turn into a puddle at all this “man” he kept throwing at you.

“You do have to heal me everyday right?”

“Do I?” you looked at Doctor Banner and Helen, while then adding, “I mean his results look good right...? Maybe then...my time can be with you both studying how I work?”

While you laughed at how silly you were both being, James loudly protested, “You've know me longer, don’t fall for her bribes!”

 

* * *

 

After seeing the two laugh in the lab after Bucky got out of the machine...Steve chickened out. He couldn’t face her now. He had to get out.

As Steve turned a corner, he suddenly saw Clint in the middle of climbing up into one of the vents. The two of them stared at each other, as if they both caught each other in the act of doing something wrong. Steve for running away from where he was initially planning to be and Clint...climbing into the air vents. However Clint looked him up and down and loudly broke the silence,

“ **NOPE.** I’m out.”

He proceeded to lift the metal and was about to climb in, until Steve grabbed him by the collar and yanked him out. “What exactly do you mean by that?”

“Come on man, I’m clearly doing you a favor by leaving you alone - do the same for me!”

“Not after that comment. What do you mean by ‘you’re out’?” Steve asked firmly. Clint clearly meant something more to it, or was just being insulting. Either way Steve felt annoyed by that comment he made.

Clint stood up and shrugged hard on his arm so that Steve would let go of him. He let out a loud exasperated sigh and looked Steve straight in the eye, “ _I mean_ I’m not going to talk and get involved with you and your drama-llama land.”

“Drama-llama...”

“The whole shit fest you have going on with Lil Mermaid!” Rolling his eyes, “Boy am I happy to know that I stopped going after her, especially now that I know her Soulmates are you and Frosty...”

“What?” Steve glared at Barton and felt the urge to grab the man again.

“Sheesh that was a long time ago! Can’t take a fucking joke right now can you? Then again it’s not like you’re trying to be with her...”

“I am trying to be with her.” Steve said that strongly and defensively.

“Tell that to the guy I just saw running the opposite direction from his Soulmates,” Clint patted Steve on the shoulder, “Look. I’m trying not to meddle or want to be in this mess any way or form - I want to WATCH the drama, not be a part of it... _but_ if you want her, you’re sure as hell not going to get it by running away.”

That made Steve silent, since it just was like another punch in the face to hear his actions, depicted in such a way from Barton. Steve already knew he was being stupid and cowardly, but to hear it coming from Barton just slapped his pride as well

“And I promise to keep it between you and me,” Clint slipped through the vent, probably during Steve’s brief moment of pausing. He could have grabbed for the man if he wanted to, but Steve held off.

Steve knew he was being an idiot. He did have a plan to go and try to get the dame to like him, try to spend time with her, make her want him just as bad as Steve wanted her. That all went out the window when he saw how blissfully happen she seemed next to Bucky. He was taken aback since never had Steve seen her so...happy.

Of course Steve didn’t spend enough super quality time with her, so he felt understood. But the two of them looked so perfect together. Also Bucky was beyond happy with the dame. It was the same face Bucky would have with him, and one of Steve’s favorite expressions to see on his man. He was genuinely happy for him. But at the same time jealous that Buck was able to get that type of expression out of their dame in a short amount of time.

At least she was supposed to be theirs.

And yet Steve never made her look like that despite having known her longer, till moments ago with Bucky.

The courage and hope that Buck helped him build a bit the other day, got smashed into bits and pieces the moment Steve heard her laugh. He wasn’t going to back down from Siren, but right now...

Steve knew when to retreat and live to fight another day...this just certainly felt like it was one of those fights for him right now.

 

* * *

 

“I’m sorry, I never did talk or ask you about our status,” James retorted to the you after their talk with Banner and Helen. The two were slowly walking their way to the elevator shaft, to then later part for another time. And you knew what he meant - the fact that he sort of was saying that you were his. Not exactly confirming that you were Soulmates with James to Banner and Helen - but hinting at a relationship. Honestly you were happy when he was declaring that you were his though.

“It’s not your fault, you don’t need to apologize for anything.”

“What would you like doll? I’ll follow whatever you would like.”

“Hm...well do you and Rogers have your bond openly revealed? I know it’s been rumored at least in the media public eye, but what about here within the tower...?” Ugh. Bringing up Captain again made you feel a little sick again, it was going to have to stop sooner or later though.

“Me and Stevie, we have our relationship sort of known within the tower or friends. Before we were used to actually hiding it completely back before even during the war, but seems things have turned a lot more accepting.”

“Oh?” you wondered what that meant.

“That’s a story for another time doll,” James turned at you with an impish smile, and ruffling your hair up, “Basically we’re discrete.”

Moving his hands away to stop messing up your hair with a teasing glare back up at him, “Then is it alright if I ask for sort of the same? I don’t mind people knowing about you and me James...But with me and Captain, I just don’t want to make things uncomfortable with him.”

“Deal. I’ll try to see if I can reign in some of myself to **not** be affectionate towards you,” James sarcastically said while you two walked inside the elevator, “Do we really have to part now though? We could have dinner...”

“We will see each other tomorrow for another session and another after that. So calm down Sarge,” you took his hand this time and copied what he did for you earlier during lunch, brushing your lips gently across his hand. After your quick peck you looked up and gave him a quick wink, “You’re going to make it too easy for me.”

James didn’t say anything as if at a loss for words, looking away at your flirty advance with a hand covering his mouth slightly as if trying to hide away, “Lord, maybe it’s you that should be holding back on being so affectionate to me...”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had fun thinking of Chris Evans as Steve saying Drama-llama. Like I can hear it so well? And he’d have that face of disbelief of da fuq. 
> 
> Yes - Steve is being a shy dummy, but I really think he’s clueless when it comes to the real deal. Where is his courage from the past when he used to ask you out like crazy?! 
> 
> Oh...well, it’s down the drain when he realized that you’re his Soulmate.
> 
> On a serious question though - do you readers prefer long ass butt chapters that may as a result come out in only Lord knows when or normal chapters that may come out faster? Faster meaning as in once a week ish...hopefully, and I guess this chapter length seems to be my avg. Of course it's not 100% sure they might both come out fast like crazy or slowwwww- either way seriously just depends on my workload in life you can see in tumblr. 
> 
> Pacing wise is I just like to tend to cut chapters where I end them and personally as a Reader of other fics- I like frequent updates (long butt ass chapters is just icing on the cake). But sometimes I guess I could combine chapters together? Just would take longer to update.


	18. Out to Kill

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off thank you SO SO SO much for all the feedback in the last chapter - I seriously appreciate it and will be trying to do a combo of both (depending on how much free time I have)! Since this chapter took so long though I tried to make this long. :’D
> 
> Also for those of you wondering about smut. I did...sort of write another fic for just porn reasons but it’s Steve/Darcy/Bucky. No worries that is not my focus, this fic gets the top - but I need to smooth out my porn writing for this story. I write crude kinky porn...
> 
> To help with imagery - atmosphere is similar to the one that happened in Ultron! (you'll get it.)

“This is stressful...” you groaned to yourself in your room, as you were picking out what to wear tonight.

It had been a long time since you had to get pretty and formal for anything since the Hydra takeover. That made you forget how it was like to do these gatherings that society sometimes deemed necessary. Difference was this was a little welcome dinner dedicated to you, in the Avenger’s Tower, and planned by Pepper Potts. And you weregoing to also meet the other Avenger’s you never met.

There was also that fact of your Soulmates being in attendance. A dinner with the Avengers plus cool people like Pepper Potts...

The thought of James though, brought a smile to your face and brightened your thoughts. You two had been doing quite well on the healing sessions the past couple of weeks and getting to know each other was also very fun. Although on the physical front you were both extremely “G” rated. It was honestly driving you a bit crazy, since your body was screaming for some more attention from him directly. You had gone on less dates and at least **kissed**! With him the most you had was the hand holding and does that hug he first gave you even count?

Oh and about Rogers...

You had time to think about and had come to the decision that, yes you were still weird-ed out by everything with him. Uncomfortable as fuck about it and just confused as hell, but you knew that wasn’t going to change if you didn’t SEE him or interact with him. But you had not seen a lick of him since you had that stupid cup of coffee that he had been asking you so much for before.

The even more frustrating part was that you **had** tried to look for him and hoped to run into him, but he seemed busy or always just away. You didn’t want to do pull another ‘Call-him-up-and-meet-me-here’ deal or use Jarvis since you also didn’t want to look pushy on Captain either. Fuck, you even mentioned to James about where Rogers had been! James responded that he was in the tower and was busy working on some Avengers project.

James wasn’t a good liar.

As a result of his reaction you were quite certain you were indeed receiving some bit of a cold shoulder from the Captain. Of course you also didn’t want to assume things with him again, but...

“Someone looks like she’s out to kill,” Nat whistled admiring your appearance as you walked out of your room. She was dressed up and waiting for you as your escort for the night, “I’m guessing your targets happen to be the two oldest men there tonight...well minus the Asgardian god.”

“Quite the contrary, I feel like I’m the one that’s going to be killed. This fancy tiny dinner with me as the apparent guest of honor?”

“Relax, I know you’re not used to this since...it’s been a while, but just maybe pretend it’s an uncover mission. Think of it like that, but try to not have the end goal of wanting to kill someone...unless it involves a bed.”

Nat looped your arm with hers while you both waited in the elevator. You responded dryly, “Your censor filter is slipping these days on the matter of my Soulmates.”

“Oh, you know you want the unfiltered version. We’re going to have a talk eventually about your lack of night life.”

As the doors opened to reveal the scenery behind, you were surprised to see that it wasn’t a fancy elaborate tiny dinner but was a full fledged party. There was an open bar, full swinging fledged band playing, pool, a really good looking buffet table...and the atmosphere just screamed fancy and classy. Regardless it actually looked...really cool and fun, rather than the stuffy dinner you were imagining this to be.

“I _might_ have hinted to Pepper that you would feel uncomfortable meeting everyone with just...a small party...so...” cocking her head towards the scenery, “Thought this would be easier for you to loosen up and relax a bit.”

“Why haven’t we gotten married yet?"

 

* * *

 

Steve halfheartedly laughed at a joke that Rhody was talking about to him and a bunch of other guests at the party that was thrown for Siren. He was nervous since it had been a while since Steve had seen her. Bucky was next to him and doing the same thing Steve was doing, waiting for her.

They had been keeping an eye out for the elevator door whenever it would open to reveal a new guest - hoping that they wouldn’t miss it when Siren actually came out.

And then she came out, arm in arm with Natasha...but looking absolutely drop dead gorgeous.

She was of course already gorgeous all the time, but this time was special. Siren had gotten all dolled up and Steve had never seen her in such a formal classy attire before.

“I want to stare at her more, but I don’t want to burn more holes into her if you’re staring at her like that too,” Bucky said next to him, then nudging at Steve’s shoulder, “So...are you going to go up to her or not?”

“I will, once she gets settled in.”

“Sure you will,” the tone made it clear that Bucky wasn’t convinced from what Steve said. And honestly Steve...wasn’t convincing himself well either. After all that first time he tried to talk to her...went South fast.

_  
_

_Back then after Bucky's first Healing session, Steve had gone to the gym to blow off the frustration he had over not being able to properly talk and see Siren._

_“I tried to drag out as much as I could in the lab, where were you?” Bucky walked over to Steve - who looked like he was doing that thing he tended to do lately. The whole punch the bag till it drops while deeply brooding over something stupid._

_“Got busy,” he continued his workout, but Bucky could notice that from the dozens of bags laying around destroyed - Steve was worked up._

_“Killing our expenses and having to buy more punching bags? What a day,” rolling his eyes, “What happened?”_

_“It’s too soon...” Steve lied. He wasn’t ready to talk about the issue of his moment of jealously and weakness. Just another thing he was adding to the things he wasn’t telling Bucky... regarding Siren._

_“I thought you had a plan, I even helped you out with it,” his Soulmate complained._

_“Things happened,” he grabbed the bag that Bucky was holding out to him and hung it up, “Until then, just get better with her.”_

_Bucky didn’t say anything, just shaking his head at Steve, “I’ll let you do what you want now, but if it results in me punching you down the line. Don’t be surprised.”_

 

* * *

 

Nat grabbed the drinks from the bartender and gave you yours, while you nodded your thanks to her. So far the party was actually pretty interesting. Lots of new faces and the people talking to you, were workers for the Avenger’s tower too. Though the surprising thing was a lot of the people there were waiting to meet you? Sort of strange since it was not like you were one of the publicly known iconic heroes in the world. That was a questionable thing since didn’t Nat dump all the files of Shield onto the internet way back? For some reason you hadn’t had any issues in terms of your identity and persona. Anyways back to the party that’s weirdly in your honor.

Your earlier scan of the premises (agent habit) - you saw that the entire team of Avengers were present, just scattered about. That also meant that yes, you did notice that both your Soulmates were present. Both of them were standing side by side in conversation with some people. It was a bit of a surprise for you, not that they were together, but just seeing them together. That was the first time you had seen them both in the same room together...and boy did they look perfect. You were torn with how to feel over that, because - did you really belong?

“You want to go straight for the kill?” Nat sipped her own drink watching your Soulmates with you. Deciding to stop gawking you turned around complete away from the two, while Nat watched you curiously.

“I’m not drunk yet,” you grinned, “Besides did you hear? I had no luck in trying to see dear old Captain.”

Nat narrowed her eyes at that comment and didn’t mask her surprise or appalled tone, “What?”

Shrugging as you downed the rest of your drink, and signaled to the bartender to pour you another. Liquid courage helped cover the embarrassment you would otherwise be feeling while you confessed to your friend. It was a bit embarrassing and a hit on your own pride to not be comfortable already enough with Captain as your Soulmate...but to be unsuccessful in seeing him just added more to it. Just openly having those words said aloud from your own mouth made it feel all the more real too.

“We’ll talk about him later then, instead we should be focusing on you having fun.” Nat said taking your drink, “You can get drunk later. There’s still a lot of things to do, little one.”

“Thanks for the drink!” a cheery voice said from behind Nat, snatching the drink she stole from you.

“Robin!” you smiled, at seeing Clint Barton, “I haven’t seen your face in forever!”

“Thanks for the drink,” he nodded, downing the glass, “I’m glad to see you too, Little Mermaid. And it’s Hawkeye to you, remember?”

Scoffing, at his response you rolled your eyes, “That’s when I’ll turn into bubbles, Robin’s a cuter nickname.”

Back then at SHIELD, you didn’t work as many missions with Clint as much as you had with Nat, but that didn’t stop you two from becoming friends. He was the best sparing partner you had in learning target practice.

“Why aren’t you introducing her to the gang Natasha?” Clint said slinging an arm over your shoulders, “You’re hiding away the star of the show here.”

Nat gave a judging look to Clint, but for once didn’t say anything to him. As if she was waiting to bite him or something.

“I did talk to some people and we were just getting drinks, so don’t start parading me around,” you retorted, “You aren’t going to use me as your wing woman already...are you?”

“It’s been years of course not...!” sheepishly he laughed and trailed off which made you scoff. As you caught up a bit with your friend, there was some light talk about the Avenger’s that you did meet already - which was of course only really Bruce Banner. You already knew Black Widow and Hawkeye, obviously. And there was also, Captain America.

 

* * *

 

“I let you do the deciding on when we should talk to our girl, and Barton’s already all over her!” Bucky complained to Steve. The two of them were a bit away from their other Soulmate, but had been keeping their eye on her as they sort of mingled now and then with other people.

Steve felt the same way Bucky did though right now. He didn’t like seeing Barton clinging all over _his_ girl. Something inside Steve just roared out, thinking about how Siren was all _his_. The possessive feeling itself was a bit overwhelming, considering he had never felt this way over a dame. Especially since he had never seen another guy so close to her and familiar like that with her. Sure he had seen her heal others, but that was on a professional level and was work. Right now she was on her own private free time and a man was all over her.

Sure Steve hated to admit to himself that he was jealous of Bucky and Siren. But that was over their closeness of how they both seemed to click and work so well already together. Steve wasn’t on that level with her. He didn’t have that with the girl who was supposed to be both of theirs.

“Relax, they’ve known each other for a long time.” Steve said to Bucky as he followed him, heading straight towards Siren. Though Steve was mostly actually trying to convince himself, so that the roaring jealous side of him wouldn’t come out. He still didn’t feel ready to approach her, but felt the same and didn’t like seeing Barton next to Siren.

“You keep telling _yourself_ that. I’m not taking my sweet time anymore like you are, Stevie.”

The distance between them and Siren was closing in, her small back closer...and then Bucky reached out towards her forearm - drawing her out of Barton’s hold and towards him. And honestly Bucky had done it in such a gentle way, it didn’t seem intrusive or offending at all - oddly. Especially based on the dame’s reaction.

She turned up to Bucky with a coy smile, accepting the moment of possessiveness that Bucky was showing her, “I was wondering when this cat was going to show up.”

Then the dame tilted her head to look behind Bucky, straight at Steve. Their eyes were locked and for a moment he thought that he saw fear in her eyes. A similar look that Steve remembered seeing in her eyes back during their missions together now and then. Now realizing the meaning behind them all, it tore Steve’s heart. But that look she had quickly disappeared and she gave him one of her adorable smiles his way,

“Captain, you’re letting the cat out of the bag too often. Have you heard how much trouble he’s been causing me?”

“Hey! I’m right here, doll.”

Steve replied back while also hopefully giving her a smile, “Tell me about it, he’s been giving me trouble for years.”

“Really? You should tell me all about it,” she grinned. Steve felt his heart leap, she was teasing and talking to him as they used to before. Maybe he really was worrying too much about her, but he would still keep in mind that she needed some time.

 

 

 

“I’m here too............” Clint whimpered after being shoved aside from the Winder Solider. Natasha on the other hand giving him a look of how she knew this was coming for him all along.

 

* * *

 

Talking to Rogers was really just upsetting.

You were sure it was mostly the alcohol now talking, since that could bring out some nasty sides to people...but the alcohol was probably just bringing out what you were feeling down inside. Speaking to him was easy because you were **acting** how you would before you knew that you were both Soulmates. You were lying that everything was peachy fine.

Well things were not sunny shine fine, you were upset at Rogers.

He’s fucking talking to you like he did not ignore you and you are pretty damn right sure he was.

No no, you quickly said to yourself. Quickly trying to calm your thoughts and gather them to a calmer state of mind. Put back that persona you had of being calm like Nat said to do earlier - like an undercover mission. Confront him later. Act cool right now. Right now you were at a party in your honor where you should not loose your shit now.

“Oh shit there’s Pepper,” Clint said suddenly looking in the other direction, “She asked me if I could show you to her the moment she arrived.”

He was about to grab your arm when Clint then stopped midair looking at both James and Rogers. James was still holding onto your arm gently looped into his, and Rogers on the other hand looked like he was ready to say something.

Clint looked at you nervously with a face that you could easily read saying ‘Do Something!’ and Nat...was being herself all relaxed and cool like she usually was.

“I should meet her, since she is the one who is throwing the party,” you gently patted on James’ hand and eased your arm out of his hold. He looked a little unsure, but you smiled hoping to reassure him. Captain on there other hand - you openly ignored with no reaction or look. Even if you weren’t upset, what would you do? You weren’t even close anyways right now, so there wasn’t much harm in ignoring him. And it’s not like he said anything so was it even ignoring him?

Following after Clint, you laughed at how funny your old friend looked right now.

“You looked like you were going to wet yourself.”

“I don’t want any part of this and your Soulmates,” he muttered - upset.

“Oh dear is it that obvious...” His comment confirmed that he knew about your Soulmates.

“Duh, I mean look at how those two guys are drooling over you! Cap was always sort of doting on you before anyways then again,” Clint then paused and added quickly, “Sorry.”

You knew why he was apologizing. Clint knew they were your Soulmates - which meant he knew that Cap and you had some communication happen despite being coworkers. It really was a whole shit storm he could probably see. Clint was always nice to you like a big brother sorts almost, though he did do his jokes of how you two should try dating.

“Thanks Legolas.”

 

* * *

 

Meeting the Pepper Potts was absolutely a...delight? She was everything you thought and read of her to be - it was a surprise that the man next to her was well...her man. Tony Stark. He was also interesting to meet, but she was the most inspiring in your opinion.

The quite embarrassing moment of the night though was when she made a little speech gathering everyone’s attention to you. Speaking of actually how much gratitude she had towards you for saving so many of the workers of Stark Industries. Turns out that back during the Battle of New York when you were saving and doing your job of helping protect the people of New York, a ton of them happened to be workers of Stark Industries. And since it was years back - a lot of those workers had moved up the ladder, done more amazing things and that would not have been possible if you were not there.

The one detail part you were going to keep to yourself was that - you had no clue and did not remember this, since it wasn’t like you would go into the city of chaos and aliens flying about thinking - I’M GOING TO SAVE THAT BUILDING. You had been after all also with Shield for a long time, so saving people and seeing them after you saved them wasn’t really all that common. After all remember Helen? Or more like not? Unless you were healing them or they were agents you worked with of course. But as she put you on the spotlight and seeing all those faces and even her own had you a little flustered.

And that’s why afterwards everyone was like cheering and giving you drinks and it was actually really fun? You got to meet and talk to now all the Avengers - Thor was really cool. Also he was just as hot as Helen had raved to you about before the party.

Exhausted you leaned back against the couch that you were leaning against while sitting on some pillows on the floor. Truth was you were indeed pretty intoxicated though and you knew if you got up that your world would be spinning. Staying stationary was the key to being sort of ‘sober’.

Right now the party had died down and the only people remained was actually...the people you thought you would only be meeting and having a dinner with. Everything was lounging around the chairs and sofas that surrounded a giant coffee table, talking about all the adventures and missions everyone has been on.

“Doll you want something to eat maybe?” James asked from next to you.

“Mhm...no I’m alright.”

Right now you were sitting...maybe a bit too cozy next to him right now, but just sitting super close to him. His warmth and now familiar scene was comforting in your current state. Captain on the other hand was sitting on another couch across from you next to Thor.

“So wait hold up - your code name is ‘Siren’, right?” Tony asked looking at you while he sat next to Pepper.

“Yep that’s right,” you nodded in response.

“Let me guess - your skill is to wail?”

“Not that type of Siren the other one,” Nat responded tartly for you. You laughed though at his response since that wasn’t what you expected to ever hear about your code name.

“So she screams?”

“No, I sort of do this...” you said while then deciding to put a little show because of his silly comments. Reaching your hand out, mostly for their own visual reasons, you waved your wrist slightly across. The action made all the water from everyone’s glasses on the coffee table to suddenly levitate and rise a couple feet above, suspended in the air.

“Whoa,” James muttered next to you in awe. The simple admiring reaction from him though made you almost want to show off to him, since that action was really nothing to you. But that could happen for another time.

“So you’re going to let us see how you tick right?” Tony said poking at his the liquid bubble of his drink in front of him.

“I already called for dibs on that,” Banner announced.

“We’ll see about that but probably not,” you said while flicking your wrist to the opposite direction, making the liquid from the drinks return to their proper place.

“She’s busy with me right now, so sorry for you guys...well actually I’m not.” James announced, marking you as his like he did back at the lab before. This time though you decided not to make a comment at his response, maybe because you were just tipsy though. Your action though towards James and his response to you wasn’t unnoticed by the other people surrounding the table.

Tony gave a curious look to both you and James though, “I’m going to be blunt, but is it me or is your man getting cozy next to his new doctor, Cap?”

You were quiet, as was James next to you, both of you unsure if to respond. However to your surprise, Captain actually spoke out firmly,

“It’s fine, don’t tease them.”

“Oh?” the billionaire’s tone indicating interested, and looked at you and James again, “You’re surprisingly tame considering you’re usually quite particular when it comes to your Soulmate. Not only that but you’re not even a foot away from him for once and not one bit bothered by it...”

Although Tony didn’t sound like he was doing any harm - and was just poking fun at Captain, you were sure things felt a bit awkward even in your drunken-ish state

“They’ve worked together on missions back at Shield, so they know each other,” Clint added while reaching out to grab some of the snacks on the table.

Suddenly Tony’s interrogative mode relaxed and he laughed in a much more eased manner. “That mean she’s on the market then? You are pretty adorable and have some interesting powers I’d love to study.”

Pepper rolled her eyes sighing, “You’re terrible.”

“And she’s _free_ , so once she gets out of Elsa’s hands...” he wiggled his eyebrows at you suggestively, which you couldn’t help but laugh at. You weren’t taking Tony seriously, since from what you’ve heard he was that type to joke around. That and well...you were ‘off’ the market sort of anyways. James on the other hand had tensed, and you could see that he was biting his tongue.

Probably trying to keep true to your agreement on keeping the down low for the Soulmate status that you and James talked about a couple weeks ago. Well within reason I guess since right now you two were really indeed close.

“Just so you know she **is** off the market.”

Rogers said that loud and clear and in his Captain America voice of authority and all things.

“She’s our Soulmate, so I’d **appreciate** it if you didn’t bother her.”

Everyone was quiet.

You were sure you were able to read James’ mind in that moment - since it was probably the same thing you were thinking.

**Fucking _shit._  
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to have Barton’s Little Mermaid tease name that was mentioned in the previous chapter as just that...but thought it would be a cute friendly thing to have between Reader and him. For those of you who don’t understand the bubble reference - look up the ending to the real Little Mermaid :’( 
> 
> I also do other fanworks too (as in outside of writing) which is what also hinders me from this fic besides life ahaha...trying to pump out things before Civil War comes out! I’ve been working lots on moving from Storenvy --> Tictail, ordering merch, and re-opening my etsy. ;;; So I am indeed alive, just busy with other fan things. Follow me on [tumblr’s](http://unrequitedstar.tumblr.com/) :) I’ll try to update more of my fic status there or splurbs. 
> 
> Let me know your thoughts on this chapter since it's another awks chapter with Steve and Siren...but things are picking up for these two! Slowly~


	19. Shots Fired

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously you gals getting excited reading the last chapter and giving me feedback gets me excited and I started writing like crazy. 
> 
> The only thing prohibiting me this time was life and time rather than getting stuck. That and I already mentioned this on tumblr but I actually ran into a fic fiasco which is why this chapter was sort of hard to entirely redo...but I persevered. (Honestly still heartbroken though.) On a bright note I finally got my new products up for Capsicle and Bucky Pop!

Obviously you were fuming and it took all the strength you could muster to not say or do anything suddenly rash, despite being drunk. You did glance at Rogers though and he didn’t seem to realize what he just said. That or he knew what he said - and simply wasn’t giving a shit about it.

Realizing that there was no other way to avoid any more drama you decided to thank everyone and ‘retire' for the night. As you said your goodnights, you could feel that everyone was pretty sure they knew they were watching a storm full of shits happening. Looking over at your dear friend, Nat, she silently signaled to you to one of the drinks on the table - she knew you needed some help from liquid courage. You were a bit surprised it tasted actually really sweet though instead of burning your throat, but whatever you were going to throw hell at someone.

“James it’s alright I think Captain can escort me back safely,” he hesitated but listened to you and released you from his hold.

Dear lord you hoped that sounded calm and collected rather than pure blind rage. But if it wasn’t for the rage and pure stubbornness - you would be full on spinning because of the alcohol. However if you made a bee line straight for the elevator, you could make the walk without the help of a warm body. 

Once you reached inside you heard the footsteps of probably Cap, follow in...and the doors shut.  
You turned around to face him and Roger’s looked completely guilty and awkward. Thank god you had a drink - correction lots of drinks and that last one was helping you push through with your courage and blind anger.

“So what makes you think I was being bothered, Rogers?” you icily asked leaning back against the rails of the elevator as it moved slowly down towards your floor.

“Stark is the type that would go on and badger you if he finds something interesting. You just met him so I wanted to avoid you from that,” Rogers defensively responded. Okay well there was no argument on Tony - he was definitely the type of guy you’ve heard the multi-billionaire to be.

“Fine, but I didn’t need you to go on and say something like _that_. Honestly it’s _quite_ funny how you decide to talk about how we’re Soulmates to all your friends...when you’ve been ignoring me these past weeks.” the words came out like a hiss, but it was what you were pissed about.

“You’re upset...” he looked like a dog that had his tail between his legs, clearly feeling and looking terrible about what he had done.

“Yes, I **am** upset! What sort of ‘taking things slow’ and letting me have my time did you understand?”

“I-...I was giving you time, why do you think I didn’t see you these past couple weeks?” quite defensively he said that, and that little fight back made you want to equally fight back.

“So you avoided me? Whenever I mentioned you to James - he gave me the stupidest excuses for you being busy,” folding your arms around your chest, since the stance admittedly was helping your dizzy head, “Go on, tell me about these things that were keeping you busy.”

“You said you wanted time,” he repeated. Clearly he didn’t have a good reason which confirmed that he was avoiding you - stupid infuriating man.

“I wanted time to wrap around my head that you’re my stupid Soulmate, I didn't say I didn't WANT to see your face or talk to you. If I don't fucking see you how can I just get used to the idea of you being my Soulmate!”

“...I did try to see you,” Rogers said, his demeanor had changed from guilty to a strangely quiet docile nature as he took all the verbal punches you were pulling at him. Although the news surprised you it didn’t make you feel any remorse towards Captain.

“Say all you want Rogers, I sure as **fuck** don’t believe you since I didn’t see your lame ass attempt,” bitterly you spat that out and it was really mean, but again you are drunkish so fuck inhibitions.

His quiet gaze on you suddenly felt like it turned up a whole lot more, and you could feel the anger rolling off him in waves. Frankly seeing him a bit upset and frustrated was a new sight for you since it was ‘Steve Rogers’ upset - not ‘Captain America’ upset.

“Well maybe **I** needed some time too, it’s a relationship so it goes both ways. It’s not just all about you and only your needs.”

Your eyes widened in response, since you didn’t expect him to call you out on that. After all you knew you were being unreasonable a bit in your argument, but that was unexpected of you to hear from Captain. Then again it’s not like you ever had an argument with him before. Nevertheless Roger’s comment pissed the fuck out of you, that sudden remark wasn’t going to get you to back down from him.

“Then fucking man up and at least let me know about that. You could have let me know than having James make lame ass excuses for you,” you prodded at his chest. Your actions were to emphasis your point, since you were as hell going to win this fight. Except it seemed to have done the opposite and goaded him on instead since he didn’t move back, making the distance between you sparse so that you were up close.

“Maybe you’re just getting a taste of your own medicine since you were the one denying **me** those years back,” he darkly responded.

...

That hurt a lot more than you would’ve liked to admit.

“You **do** know that I was avoiding you because of my ‘Soulmates’ right? No, I _know_ you do since I fucking told you that during that coffee talk,” you tried to mask the hurt breaking tone in your voice. Alcohol was getting to you again as well...

Since he had hurt you with that low ball, you wanted to hurt him back and added, “And it was because I thought I would have more feelings for an idiot like you and eventually hurt my ‘Soulmates’. Guess that was stupid of me to have thought since you gave up on me existing since you were asking some random girl out.”

Yeah that was a hit below the belt, since you knew his reasoning. But he knew yours too, about avoiding him for coffee! You were just fighting him back with what he gave you.

“You aren’t a random girl,” his anger seemed to have softened a bit, it seems your words probably hurt him just as his had hurt you, “You keep on pulling punches, but you’re not letting me properly talk.”

“Maybe I don’t want you to talk, all you seem to say tonight is stupid things.”

“You really are upset...”

“Back to square one? Yes I am upset, upset at you for not wanting to see me, upset at the fact that I was fucking stupid too. And also I’m upset that I have met both my Soulmates yet my sex life just seems to be freezing more than ever!” you huffed, realizing you sort of mentioned you were sexually frustrated - but...it seems that after you said that Rogers was getting closer to you - or was it you to him?

“Oh well what do you know, something we have in common.” There was so much sarcasm in that line of his that you did not appreciate one bit. Fuck, didn’t him and James screw? You were about to throw another nasty comment his way. 

But instead saw his head was much closer to yours and then his lips were pressed up against yours, as he kissed you.

Not just a simple peck was happening to you though. After the soft touch of his lips on yours, his mouth opened towards yours, for a much deeper intimate kiss. This wasn't just a passionate kiss - but a kiss full of pent up anger and it was almost as if you were battling each other out. Cap was gently sucking against your bottom lip as if silently asking if you would reciprocate to him, which you quickly did. Licking back against his tongue, your eyes fluttered shut as you gave into the warm sensation of his tongue entwined with yours. He groaned happily against you rewarding you with a kiss that was making you even more dizzy. Suddenly all you could think about was the pure _need_ and warmth of his body.

Captain’s hands that were earlier holding both the sides of your upper arms, slowly moved so that his right hand was now on your waist and pulling your body closer against his own. His left had moved to the back of your head near your neck, so that he hold you steady.

Between kisses you heard his soft moans against your mouth and they only goaded you on as you continued to kiss him back with hopefully the same intensity. Almost as if you were waging this as a battle that you also wanted to win against him. Everything felt too hot, and you wanted to peel off your clothes...his clothes...everything. Reaching your arms up to hold him closer to you, you decided to take advantage of what you had been imagining and dreaming about with Captain, right now.

Consequences be damned.

...worry later.

 

* * *

 

Steve knew he was being rash. But with her calling him out for being so hesitant - he couldn’t stand it anymore and wanted to prove to her that she was wrong.

And he didn’t regret this action of his one single bit, as he continued to kiss her happily.

It took everything in him to not be rougher against her. When Steve placed his hand against her waist pulling her closer - he really wanted to grab that firm ass that he had always eyed now and then during missions. Not openly oogling - just moments it would be right in his line of vision of course...of course...

Suddenly he then felt the girl slack against him in his arms, and she had also stopped kissing him back.

Steve moved his head back - and saw that she was unconscious.

And suddenly Steve was freaking out.

Shit, did he knock her head up against the elevator - knocking her unconscious? But then as Steve realized that she was softly still breathing as if she was sleeping, he relaxed.

She had passed out but...

Oh.

Licking his lips he remembered the taste of her sweet mouth, and how not only could he taste the alcohol - but the Asgardian liquor. For someone like her, it was the most reasonable explanation since ‘mere mortals’ were not able to take it handle it. However she must have had a bit more reliance due to her healing powers, maybe. Technicalities can be figured out later...right now Steve had to take care of his girl.

 

* * *

 

“Steve? You in here?” Bucky asked as he got inside their apartment, hoping that Steve was in here an not out sulking over whatever crazy talk that he had with their doll.

As he had turned into their living room he saw Steve had just walked out from their hallway...looking like he had been caught doing something wrong.

“Buck, you’re back soon.”

“Soon? I would’ve been back a lot faster if it wasn’t for everyone trying to get details out of our Soulmate situation!” he groaned, while unbuttoning the top of his shirt as he started to walk towards their bedroom, “I’m going to take a shower and then make you explain-”

Steve was blocking his way to the bedroom, plus his guilty face was on and he wasn’t saying a word.

“...What are you doing Steve?” Bucky cautiously asked. Steve didn’t budge though and still had the guilty look on his face, which was not a good sign.

“Steve...”

Bucky pushed him aside and rushed to their bedroom - to see there she was.

Their Soulmate lying on _their_ bed.

“Fucking hell, **Steve**!” Bucky then hushed, not wanting to wake the doll.

She was peacefully sleeping from the looks of it, and was on top of their sheets and covers. Her shoes had only been removed, but other than that she looked ridiculously attractive right now to Bucky since he had been imagining how she would look in their bed. Just you know - not unconscious or clothed - or Bucky not knowing a fuck at what had happened for Steve to have landed her right here.

Looking at Steve, Bucky realized that Steve was holding her shoes behind his back.

“Are you fucking _serious_? Why is she knocked out and in our bed right now? I’m actually in good terms with the doll and if this fucked up my situation or is going to fuck up my situation with her - ”

“I swear Buck, there’s a good explanation for this one.”

Letting out an exasperated sigh, “Fine...let’s just get her tucked in then first.”

 

* * *

 

“She passed out from Asgardian liquor?”

“Yeah that last drink she had was actually Thor’s drink...Jarvis confirmed it for me that she should be fine,” Steve was definitely withholding the true details of how he knew that. Since explaining _that_ meant explaining every detail of the argument that he and Siren just had as well.

“Even your tolerance towards that stuff is worse than me,” Bucky said shutting their bedroom door. They had tucked their girl in and tried to make it as comfortable as they could for her...well which was within a lot of limitations since it’s not like they were able to strip any clothes off her. Honestly it wasn’t even Steve who had touched her - he had let Bucky do the caring of her while he stood by helping him in case he needed it.

“Couldn’t you get into her room to at least put her in her own place?”

“That was my first action...However Jarvis wouldn’t let me since I have no access and she has not granted me access to open her room.”

“I thought the Soulmate deal overrides that? ”

“We aren’t bonded or considered together...so nothing,” Steve sighed, honestly being rejected and reminded from someone else that he had no real ties to Siren...hurt. Sure Bucky and him weren’t bonded, but they were openly known to be in a relationship. Then again - Steve had made it clear to his teammates that she was theirs. She was upset, but Steve didn’t regret saying it. He had been dying to somehow show some way about how Siren belong to him as well.

“And if we tell Natalia or anyone...yeah okay fine you’re right.”

The two were silent since it was clear that they were screwed either way. This was the ‘best’ way for all of them - giving everyone some sense of dignity. That and they had to keep a tight lip about her being in their room since if anyone else found out - Siren would sure be even more upset.

“So how did the talk go?”

“Buck...”

His Soulmate shrugged, “I’m not asking for the gritty details right now, but I just want to know how she’s going to be when she wakes up. It didn’t go well did it?”

Steve would tell him everything once his feelings settled out a bit with Siren, he hated how he was keeping things, but didn’t feel right either telling them right now. “Not really, to be honest I don’t know if I would be the face that she would want to see when she wakes up.”

“Ouch, that bad? ...then again you did blurt out to everyone that she’s our Soulmate.”

“Tony-”

“Would have pestered the fuck out of her, yeah I was actually going to say something too. But the dame asked me to keep things low, so it wasn’t going to be anything like explicitly stating we’re all Soulmates.”

Steve paled, that was the first time he was hearing her explicitly saying something like that. Then again it was not like he had talked to her.

“Your clueless face tells me that you and her have to talk more. Eventually then you’re going to tell me every stupid thought you’ve been having and acting on,” Bucky tossed some blankets and pillows to Steve, “Until then let’s just talk about how **we** are both going to handle her morning after.”

 

* * *

 

The most massive pain in your head was throbbing right now as you regained conscious. You snuggled against the bed and covers, sighing since it felt heavenly. The moment you got out of the bed, you knew that the world would be spinning and reality would set in. The smells of the bed and entire room was different, but gave you a sense of familiarity and comfort.

Your eyes shot open, realizing reality.

This was not your room and the smell partially smelled just like James.

Fucking shit - this is their apartment. _Their room_. Bedroom!

You gathered your thoughts and remembered the last thing you could recall.

Making out with Captain America.

Suddenly about to yelp or squeal - you clamped your hands over your mouth quickly to stop yourself. The feelings you were having right now was a mixture of regret, horror, regret, and yet sort of satisfied. Who were you kidding, it was mostly just all regret. Not that you had kissed him, but mostly since you were intoxicated and clearly had too much to drink. Liquid courage is cool and all - but you sure as fuck didn’t need that much based on the pain you were feeling now.

That and what the fuck happened after that?

You peaked under the covers to double check and yes all your clothes minus the shoes were off.

That made...sex out of the question...right? Even if you did at least...your panties were on...

Yeah, sure it’s not like someone can’t still fuck you with your panties still on.

Oh god, what do you do? That and your head was pounding so hard you knew the moment you tried to sit up or get out of bed that things wouldn’t feel right. You didn’t want to think any more of what you were going to do, but you were in the heart of enemy territory.

Groaning in regrets, suddenly you could hear footsteps coming down from probably their hallway. Shit how were you going to react to - whoever?

Was it James...Captain or Both?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact. 
> 
> Kissing was NOT in the plan one bit, but ah ha ha. Honestly - If I wasn’t trying to keep things in super reality check in - I totally would have had Steve and Reader have pent-up-feelings-frustration sex.
> 
> As a result... Another Evil Porny Plot Bunny attacked me with Omegaverse StevexBuckyxReader (Siren based Reader) story and I sort of made a huge outline (even notes about my world setup) and even uh wrote most of the first+second chapter. 
> 
> Sort of really hesitant towards posting it since this story is again a long haul fic and so many things I want to cover. Plus when I have spare time I want to do a bit of that WinterShieldShock story.


	20. Game Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for waiting for this long delay! 
> 
> AS THE CIVIL WAR HYPE INCREASES CAN I JUST SAY THE MORE I WANT TO MAKE MINE CIVIL WAR COMPLIANT? (And how bitter I am in how I didn't get tickets for SF early screening \o/) But that fic track branch will come in like May. So uh come back then. Like no joke - I HAVE SO MANY TENTATIVE WHAT IF IDEAS FOR IT since I have a thing with wanting to be compliant to the MCU for further Reader immersion fun. (Or at least I find it _**really fun**_ to have Reader connected together with the movies...) 
> 
> Also thank you for everyone saying that they like how I write Reader! I write so much fucking sarcasm that I forget to add in some italics here and there, so I’m glad that is getting across rather than some stupid comment in Reader's head. 
> 
> A lot of shit does go on so if you have any questions feel free to ask in the comments. Lots of end notes, but go ahead and read the chapter first :)

 

You opted to fake it and pretend you were unconscious.

That way you can at least get an idea of your surroundings AND also not get up and feel the earth move all sorts.

As the door opened you heard it was just one pair of footsteps, so only one of your Soulmates was parading in. A warm hand touched your face, brushing strands of hair away from your face. Thank god for the fact that you were an agent...since thanks to that you were able to stay stone cold. Your heart on the other hand was another story and since you were with your Soulmates you didn’t bother to try to keep that in check. It’s a good thing they’re not checking your pulse right? Damn that alcohol really did a number on you since you never felt this unsteady before though.

Suddenly those fingers that were gently brushing your hair away, had suddenly moved to touch your lips. The leathery pad of their thumb slowly swiped your bottom lip and then held your chin steady while slightly tilting your face up...

But just as quickly as that happened - he left, and shut the door.

Opening your eyes, you groaned out loud towards the ceiling.

Fucking _James_.

He was smirking so hard you could FEEL it the moment he brushed your lips with his thumb and even now you were sure you could feel him grinning ear to ear behind that bloody door. That touch he did moments ago threw you off so your breath definitely held - giving away your ‘unconscious state. James knew that you were faking it and was laughing about it!

Was it the hangover or the fact that you knew it was your Soulmates that made you lower your guard? Regardless you were embarrassed and frustrated at James for being such a mean tease. He didn’t even _verbally_ say anything and decided to leave you to your own thoughts and frustrations. Although you wanted to get out and punch that grin off him, your pounding head told you otherwise.

_Oh he’ll get it too when I’m 100% and more._

 

 

* * *

 

 

“She’s up,” Bucky strolled happily towards Steve with his hands behind his head, grinning. Steve was busy making breakfast, but perked up when Bucky announced that their doll was awake. That and Bucky looked like he had been up to some mischief...

“And...?”

“She’s scheming right now, but judging by the fact she didn’t chase me down...”

“Plan C.”

“The one we were hoping for,” Bucky said taking over the frying pan, while Steve got the tray ready.

“Mood?”

“ **Fuck you James!** ” a cry yelled from their bedroom.

Steve had a surprised and concerned look on his face at her sudden outburst, whereas Bucky just chuckled, “Feisty it seems...and don’t give me that look. I just tested her to see which plan we were going to be doing.”

Clearly Bucky did do something mischievous when he went to check on their girl. “Plan C still means that she must be feeling terrible because of the Asgardian liquor.”

“And that’s what we are here and doing right now with this meal. ”

Still not really feeling confident Steve paused, what if-

“Stop it now,” Bucky leaned in to give his Soulmate a reassuring peck on the cheek - definitely getting Steve’s current train of thought off the tracks, “I’ll be there with you to help tackle our girl, so lighten up.”

Steve curled his lips slightly, even if he wasn’t entirely feeling confident he was thankful that he had Bucky there to help confront their dame.

 

 

* * *

 

 

You could hear their footsteps walking down and although you would have loved to get out of bed and run for it... When you had tried to just sit up earlier, it was so hard you stopped midway and decided to lie in the bed just a bit longer. Well a bit longer now became too late - since now both of your Soulmates were heading this way, and you weren’t feeling really confident in getting up and running out.

Dear lord.

 

...What more shame did you have to lose anyways now?

 

Fuck it.

 

Resigning to the more physically comfortable action, you snuggled yourself deeper into the bed letting out a huge sigh.

 

“Thought you would have at least gotten up, doll,” James teased as he walked in holding trays of food. Rogers trailed in after him also holding trays full of drinks in both hands. Compared to last night...or well at least near the end of last night, Rogers looked a lot more docile and sheepish. You concluded he was probably feeling apologetic about last night...only question was which part was he feeling apologetic? The avoiding you part or the kissing you part?

“I would if I could so that I could smack that stupid grin off your face...” you muttered still lying down in their bed.

“Well it’s actually for your own benefit that you sit up,” James said while he and Cap started to arrange the trays, “Might be hard but it’ll get better after you eat.”

You looked at him skeptically, he could be playing with you - or could be entirely right. Either way though you did need to eventually get up since this was embarrassing enough with having yourself all cuddled up in their huge ass bed. Sighing mentally since that meant trying to get up...you forced yourself to just do as James said. As you tried to get yourself up, Rogers quickly aided you - putting a hand on your back and another on your arm to help keep you steady.

You quickly glared at him, which didn’t phase or shake Cap one bit to your surprise. However your glare didn’t come unnoticed from the other Soulmate in the room, “Sheesh are you trying to freeze Stevie with your eyes? I can feel it all the way here.”

Neither you nor Captain responded to James’ remark though. Once you were sitting up, Rogers quickly put some pillows behind you which was a thankful addition - so you nodded silently to him in thanks. Sinking back against the pillows and getting comfortable you waited to see who would speak first. You were just being cold to him since if you weren’t going to be thinking of Captain that way - you would just revert to the thoughts of what happened right before your memory blacked out for the night. Thoughts you did not need to have while in **their** bed.

The two men had set up their trays by your side, each of them sitting on the edge of the bed on either side of you. Basically they were trapping you into this bed and you were unsure if that was intentional or just coincidence.

“That’s quite the feast you two made for little old me,” dryly you said, “Are you two trying to spoil me so I won’t hurt you two?”

“Oh you won’t be doing any hurt after all you drank last night, doll.” James laughed gently, while you pursed your lips not denying or affirming his comment. Rogers gave James a almost scolding look and added in for you, “What he means is that, you drank some of Thor’s Asgardian liquor last night.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Thor had some of his liquor on the table last night - Asgardian liquor, the side affects are strong enough to even affect me and Bucky,” he said while you watched him curiously, “It’s side affects are like normal alcohol just a lot more stronger and has different remedies.”

“Like eating, anything.” James said gesturing to the trays of food they brought in, “Sure it may look a bit gross to you now but once you get a bite you’ll feel better.”

Steve held out a plate to you, which surprisingly did smell good so you took a bite...and actually you did feel a bit better. Taking them up on their kind gesture of food - and wanting to mostly just get better - you ate away at the meal. Each bite seemed to make you feel a bit more alive and less dizzy to your surprise. Though if you were able to heal your own hangover...well this wouldn’t be happening now would it?

The two had also started to munch here and there on the food - which was a bit odd, until you realized that the two were also doing some subtle signals to each other. Most likely they were since you did this all the time with other agents - and even more vague ones with Nat all the time. You knew that the moment the two walked in the door that these men had a plan laid out against you and were now in plain sight discussing into to each other while you watched.

“Please can you two stop doing face language stuff to each other? I’m an agent remember?” you rolled your eyes in emphasis, “Or be a bit more creative and secretive than the usual things.”

“Sorry,” Rogers quickly said with James also giving a sheepish look, “Sorry doll.”

“I can pick up that you’re basing your actions towards me based on my reactions, right? So let’s just get to the bottom of it, where did you all want to start the talk?”

“You really enjoy going straight to the heart of it,” Captain said almost chuckling, to your surprise. He still wasn’t cute though despite making that adorable face, you bitterly thought.

“That,” James pointed at you and then Rogers.

“What?” the two of you said in perfect unison at James’ remark.

“You both have a lot of issues going on, and I thought it would be best if you both solved them between the both of you...but clearly it hasn’t been working,” James explained, and honestly with every bit of truth and right, “ t’s gone to the point of me getting stuck in the middle and I’m done being the middleman for you two in terms of this frigid communication.”

Neither you nor Rogers said anything since James was right. Putting your own pride and frustrations to Captain was for sure to make James feel uncomfortable.

Well didn’t you and probably Captain feel like you were in the hot seats now?

“And now it seems the roles have reversed between you two. Steve wants to finally go after you for real and you on the other hand are giving him the cold shoulder,” James finished.

You pursed your lips - you were only giving him the cold shoulder in less than 24 hours, James didn’t have much evidence in that...but okay fine you didn’t deny mentally to yourself that you wouldn't have been against ignoring Captain a bit longer.

“Was this the real ‘plan’ Buck?”

“Wouldn’t be nice to let you have the upper hand over our doll for this talk,” James shrugged while you stared down into your plate of pancakes and sugar.

“So...what do you want us to do?” you asked.

“I already thought it out - you two are going to regularly train together.”

“ **What?!** ” again you and Rogers said in unison but with more shock than before.

“Neither of you can really argue out of it - I know both of you take the time to train so might as well do it together.”

Sure you did admit that you needed to spend time with Captain, and sure you were bold and done with this stupid mosey around with him - but it was okay since you were in control. A part of you was wavering slightly and the other knew that it was perfectly fine to leave it up to others sometimes. Biting your lower lip you watched as James first looked at Captain.

He had straightened up in his sitting position on the bed and nodded to James, “I’ll do it.”

Gulping you knew it was your turn, and time to slap down that wavering part of yourself. You knew what was best, and so with a steady voice you spoke out your answer, “Same.”

Sure it was going to be still just as weird to see Captain now on a regular basis, but you were all Soulmates and this was a chance for you two to try to...just be around each other. A slight flutter in your chest though was definitely signaling that a part of you was happy, maybe it was the pull you felt for Captain since you first met him resurfacing?

The two Soulmates looked at you surprised at your sudden compliance.

“What?”

“I...thought you would be a bit more reluctant,” Captain said.

Pursing your lips, you didn’t want to speak more about your decision.

“So you two are going to regularly meet and sort things out with each other - done. Anything else anyone wants to talk about?” James asked happily while leaning over to you and ruffling your hair with his right hand. You yelped in protest at his action, but he continued on while Captain watched you both with a hint of amusement in his eyes.

“Okay now that we finished that, can I just finish eating now?” you laughed while pushing James’ hand away from your hair. He looked at you seriously, while you still was tentatively holding his hand as you were in the process of pushing him away.

“... Just one more thing.”

“Yes?”

James’ reached out to hold your cheek with the hand that you had been trying to push away. Cradling your face gently in his hand he leaned over and kissed you gently against your lips. Besides the initial shock of the surprise kiss attack - you were quite surprised with just how gentle his lips were against yours. Unlike the force of passion and emotions that you and Cap had shared last night, James’ kiss was just as melting but more from sweetness overload. Gently they were coaxing against your lips asking you to reciprocate - which you gladly did for like a split second.

That was until you snapped out of it quite quickly and remembered Captain was still here. The initial sudden attack had you so surprised at the mere action that you almost forgot. Even if you couldn’t see Captain’s reaction - you could quite clearly feel the surprise in the air coming from him. James grinned at you, but tilted his head to look directly at the Soulmate behind you.

“I give you both the own privacy to sort out things for now, but this...” Bucky quickly pecked your lips with his, “It wouldn’t be fair if you had all the fun without me.”

“I-I...” you didn’t know what to say, but the fact that James knew...

You turned to your side to give Cap a - _“What the shit?”_ face, which he quickly reacted to. His surprised face had turned even more shocked and he waved a hand up dismissing your assumptions, “I didn’t tell him anything!”

“He didn’t have to,” James answered, “Seems you didn’t notice that there was lipstick smeared on your lips when you came home last night, Stevie.”

Captain covered his lips while you pursed your own with wide eyes. Shit. It felt like you had been caught stealing cookies from the cookie jar or something by the way James was talking to you both about this. The moments that led up to him kissing you wasn’t that much of a surprise considering how you two were goading each other on - lots of tension in the air. At least from what you could recall...but now that James’ had brought it up, you did feel bad about it. After all weren’t you just complaining the other day about how your Soulmate relationships were basically rated “G”?

Then the thing with Cap and...well...god how were you going to explain this to James with no time to prepare?

“I was drunk and had Asgardian liquor. Plus did I mention I passed out?”

Captain looked at you with wide eyes since that was just throwing him under the bus. Well...not that you minded much on throwing him under said bus.

“I-I...” he stuttered to James, thrown off on what to say.

“Look I didn’t want to get too ahead in our own skin ship since you and her were having your differences...but to think you went ahead?” he said in a slightly accusatory tone to Rogers, while gently caressing your arm.

“We’ll keep our physical things transparent okay? Good god this is so not helping me feel better,” you groaned, not lying though since this whole thing was giving you a head spin, “We had that difficult talk, you got your point across that you win in everything James. So now can I just die now?”

“Alright alright I’ll stop,” James laughed softly, “I need you to get better so I can give you the real kiss that you deserve, princess.”

Any other day that probably would have made your heart skip a beat or want to goad him on...but you seriously were mentally and physically way too tired. You turned to look at Rogers, exhausted with no energy to put up with being mad at him, and gave him a pleading look.

“Bucky you got what you wanted, now time to give our doll what she wants,” Captain said while ushering James off the bed and out the door, well not before James could give you a goodbye wave and flirtations wink. Before Cap shut the door though, he mouthed something silently to you - which you could easily read,

 

_‘I’ll take care of him, take it easy.’_

You gave him a thankful nod and he then slowly shut the door behind him.

Slumping into the pillows you groaned in exhaustion from your Soulmates.

Dear lord, dealing with James like that was certainly something you did not expect. Just like his kiss too...although his kiss was a hell of a lot shorter compared to the one you remembered having last night with Captain. The kiss James’ gave you sure left you hanging for more - well just like Captain’s. Which meant lots of frustration on your body for your end.

On top of that there was the thing that happened last night with Captain - the heated argument that ended up with a heated make out session. Well now you were going to see Cap on a regular....not work-related reason.

Again you were on the fence since you were still upset at him for just being an ass for the past few weeks, but this was all for the better for you two to talk things out.

This is what you wanted right? To see Cap to get to known him outside and as a Soulmate. That and things in the physical side were at least...starting. Still rated “G” probably, but maybe it can get bumped up and you won’t feel like you have a huge itch that is bothering you anymore.

If that was all so though - why didn’t everything feel right...? A part of you felt anxious and...just...

Shaking the feeling off, you resumed eating since that would help you get better and run off to your own safe room. And also you cursed again how delicious the meal was.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy Crap this author's end note went SUPER PARAGRAPHS LOL Moving it to my Tumblr. 
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> [Long ass Ch 20 Author Notes and stuff about this chapter can be read here!](http://unrequitedstar.tumblr.com/post/171494526972/more-sugah-an-notes-ch-20-gdmi-i-had-long)
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	21. ! Alternate Route Alert !

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An update to an alternate route...that is Captain America: Civil War Compliant.

 

…My apologies though since this is only a sort of update. But I thought it is worth nothing that I do have a new chapter of “And I’ll be like Sugar” storyline…only it’s a **branch off new alternate fic**!

Yes, it is still a Soulmate AU with Reader's Soulmates being Stevie and Bucky. Just an alternate twist on things that will line up to Civil War! 

If you all sorta read my notes or heck this fic - you might have noticed I tried to be as canon compliant to the MCU as I can. Since Civil War is now out and we all know what happened there...I managed to make a crazy ass outline of how I would make this story Civil War compliant. Only thing is that it has to be a separate fic since, clearly Sugar is past the Civil War mark, because of Bucky and Tony. (Oh but note I didn’t say Ultron. Ha. Ha. Ha.)

 

The new fic is called **“[And All I Need](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7392952/chapters/16792444)”**

 

Set after partway to [Chapter 8 of “And I’ll be like Sugar”](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4991161/chapters/11770613)\- back when Reader was caught by Hydra and thrown into the Hydra prison.

**What if Hydra was actually smart with how they handled you - and you weren’t able to escape...?**

…Fic is heavy heavy Bucky-centric. 

 

**Now onto just noted stuff and to give an update on Sugar...**

I can’t lie and do admit I do have some kinks I’m working out with Sugar, since what I have - I’m not settled or happy with it and personal anxiety when writing nowadays. That and there’s the Omegaverse where I want to write more porn...

But I’ve been busy meeting something like this. 

 

(lol story of this face is on my tumblr [@unrequitedstar](http://unrequitedstar.tumblr.com/).)

And of course Captain himself again…I’m sure you all can understand now right? 

 

I'll use this blurb to also say **thank you to everyone reading.**

For me - Writing is a way of me trying to interact with the fandom :) so I’d really like to make friends who I can talk to online honestly, since I don’t have many online friends in this fandom. Believe or not but I really don’t. So please don’t feel shy to reach out to me whether it be here on Ao3, tumblr, and yes now I opened my twitter to public as well.

**Now if you haven't seen this[lovely tumblr post - I implore you all to read this](http://handypolymath.tumblr.com/post/145176300449/daemoninwhiteround2-capsing-useful-posts). **

I am thankful for all the kudos, lovely hits, and subscriptions, but actual comments are what...really sort of gets me wanting to really just WRITE more and publish them for you all to read. Instead of you know...keeping all my outlines and chapters to the rest of my stories, locked up in my brain. I'm insecure a lot about my writing or just being in general - so reading the comments and seeing that my silly writing makes someone else happy, just slaps my insecurity away.

So I want to thank again everyone for all of your feedback also, they really do keep me going - although I don’t publish a new chapter right away. I’m writing away. (Though ngl the new fic has a lot of loosely written chapters)

 

Let me know what you think in the new alternate route? :)


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